WrestleMania II (1986)

(04.07.86)Wrestlemania 2 was held in three places! We start off in Uniondale, NYYour hosts are Vince McMahon & Susan Saint James"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff Vs The "Magnificent" Muraco (W/Mr. Fuji)The match ends in a double count-out after both men brawl on the floor. This was a match that was meaningless and directionless. I like both wrestlers as individuals, but it's hard not to be disinterested with how poorly it was thrown together. The crowd chanting "bullshi*****" over the finish says it all.*Intercontinental ChampionshipRandy "Macho Man" Savage (C) (W/Elizabeth) Vs George "The Animal" SteeleSavage retains the title by using the ropes to pin Steele. This was a very poor comedy match. Steele spends most of the match chasing Savage around and I didn't find Steele's OTT antics to be entertaining at all. Steele kicking out of the elbow drop irked me as well. *Jake "The Snake" Roberts Vs George WellsJake wins with a DDT. This is a glorified squash match. Wells got in some convincing offense, but the result is never in doubt. The most memorable thing about this match is Wells drooling from the snake being draped over him. *1/4Boxing Match"Rowdy" Roddy Piper Vs Mr. TT wins by DQ in the fourth round after Piper bodyslams T. This was an OK spectacle. It's pretty boring for today's standards, but back then it was pretty huge. Part 2 emanates from Chicago, IL at the Rosemont Horizon.Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund & Cathy Lee CrosbyWomen's TitleThe Fabulous Moolah (C) Vs Velvet McIntyreMoolah pins McIntyre after McIntyre misses a splash (even though McIntyre's foot was on the ropes...) This was a very quick match and way too short for me to really comment any further on it.DUDFlag MatchNikolai Volkoff (W/Freddie Blassie) Vs Corporal KirchnerThe winner gets to raise the flag. Kirchner wins after using Blassie's cane. At least this match was short! Short and painless is what I like when it comes to stuff like this. 1/4*20 Man Battle RoyalThis one has stars from the NFL as well. The participants are Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Danny Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, The Killer Bees, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William "refrigerator" Perry, and Andre The Giant. It comes down to Andre The Giant and The Hart Foundation. Needless to say, Andre dumps them both out to win the battle royal. This was OK for a battle royal. The NFL players didn't embarrass themselves. Perry and Big John Studd going at it was pretty cool and the crowd was electric for it. In one of the rare cases, the big man actually IS the favorite. Andre winning was a good choice, even if the fans desperately wanted William Perry to win it. (I don't rate battle royals)Tag Team ChampionshipThe Dream Team (C) (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake) (W/Johnny Valiant) Vs The British Bulldogs (W/Capt. Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne)The Bulldogs win the title after Valentine collides with The Dynamite Kid head first. This is a textbook example of what tag team wrestling should be all about. Rarely will you ever see a tag team match go this smoothly. I can honestly say this match is awesome and completely stole the show.**** (out of 5 stars)We go to the Los Angeles, CA portion of the show!Your hosts are Jessie "The Body" Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and ElviraRicky "The Dragon" Steamboat Vs Hercules Hernandez (W/Freddie Blassie)Steamboat wins with flying cross-body from the top. This match was alright, I suppose. It didn't have enough excitement to really get it over the hump, though. As amazing as Steamboat is in the ring, he can't work miracles. *3/4"The Adorable" Adrian Adonis (W/Jimmy Hart) Vs Uncle ElmerAdonis wins with a fistdrop of sorts from the top. The match was pure crap, of course. But watching Adonis bump around like crazy to try to get the match over is kinda fun.½*Terry Funk & Dory Funk Jr. (W/Jimmy Hart) Vs The Junkyard Dog & Tito SantanaThe Funks win when Terry Funk drills JYD with the Megaphone. This match was all sorts of fun! The match was rather wild and chaotic throughout with Terry Funk shining the most out of anyone in this match. Good stuff overall!***1/4WWF Championship (Steel Cage Match)Hulk Hogan (C) Vs King Kong Bundy (W/Bobby Heenan)Hogan retains the title by escaping the cage. This match gets by on solid drama and storytelling. Praise aside, this is still one of the weakest main events in Wrestlemania history. There is nothing outstanding about it or anything that should warrant a place on any "Best of" Steel Cage match DVD's. **It's not the greatest by any means, but after repeated viewings, it's not as bad as I originally thought. Having Wrestlemania in three different cities was an audacious idea that didn't quite pan out for Vince. I actually thought it hindered the show a bit. With all the hype Hogan Vs Bundy got, The Dream Team Vs The British Bulldogs stole a bit of their thunder and easily stole the show. Overall, this is one of the worst Wrestlemania's, but there are worse Wrestlemania's, such as Wrestlemania 9 and 11.

Here are the matches...Nassau Colloseum Paul Orndorff v Don Muraco: A relatively fast-paced match (which features a tasteless slanted eye gesture made by Orndorff against Mr Fuji) that ends with an unsatisfying double count-out. A shame because this could have been the sleeper of the night. I am sure I could hear the fans shout 'bullsh*t' after the match... 3/10 George 'The Animal' Steele v 'Machoman' Randy Savage for the Intercontinental title: This was an oddity and mainly a match of entertainment and hijinks than wrestling in itself. On a rare occasion, 'Machoman' messes up a flying body-cross and Steele actually kicks out of the flying elbow. It ended with 'Machoman' getting the cheap pin with feet on the ropes manoeuvre. 4/10 George Wells v Jake 'The Snake' Roberts: Jake gets dominated by 'jobber to the stars' Wells until he lands the DDT. Jake drops the snake over Wells (rather unconvincingly) but Wells sells the idea well by frothing at the mouth. 2/10 How many times does Susan Saint James say 'C'maaaan George' during the night? Lol.Mr T v 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper boxing match: This boxing match didn't go anywhere near the distance. Both combatants knocked each other out during rounds 2 and 3 and Piper got disqualified in round 4 for executing a body-slam. A waste of time really and the only real factor of this match was it started a face turn for Piper as the crowd realised he was more interesting than Mr T. 3/10 Rosemont Horizon Velvet McEntyre v Fabulous Moolah for the women's title: A blink and you'll miss it squash match which devalues the women's title. Moolah pinned McEntyre after a failed body-press within 2 minutes. I've read recently that McEntyre's match was cut short because she had a wardrobe malfunction. You can see McEntyre doing her best to protect her modesty during and after the match. 1/10Corporal Kirschner v Nikolai Volkoff - flag match: A mercifully short two minute spectacle giving enough time for Kirschner to catch Blassie's cane in the air meant for Volkoff and whack him with it to gain the pin. Kirschner still manages to bust his head open in the process. I can only guess this was the WWF's way of dealing with 'The Cold War'. 2/10 WWF/NFL battle royal: A decent 20 man event but not much time was devoted to it. If you notice hard enough you will find Bruno Sammartino barely does anything in the ring but wander around and 'Hillbilly' Jim tries too hard to get himself eliminated while John Studd falls for a rookie mistake. Andre the Giant won the match defeating both members of the Hart Foundation (sporting blue tights). 6/10 British Bulldogs v Dream Team for the WWF tag titles: This is definitely match of the night. Well fought though the majority of it sees Greg Valentine getting a beating. Ozzie Osbourne joins The Bulldogs (probably WWF still attempting the Rock 'n' Wrestling connection) and Gene Okerlund refers to Osbourne coming from Manchester when he actually comes from Birmingham. Anyhow, that aside, a good match which finishes when a dazed Hammer clashes with the Dynamite Kid and gets pinned. 6/10 Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena Ricky Steamboat v Hercules Hernandez: A match notable for Hercules's ring costume at the start, portraying a Greek soldier and looking like the late 'Bruiser' Brody. Steamboat carries Hercules to a reasonable match (Hercules actually attempts the top-rope at one point) but the conclusion was never left in any doubt when Steamboat flying body-presses for the pin. 5/10 Uncle Elmer v Adrian Adonis: Adonis comes to the ring in a dress and wearing gaudy make-up. Before Wrestlemania 2 Adonis 'came out' as a homosexual (even though he was a happily married man in real life) so I can only presume the WWF equated homosexuality with transvestitism. I laughed at Elmer falling over after delivering a blow to Adonis and Adonis entertained with his bumping before he got the quick pin over Elmer after a flying head-butt. A favourite of mine but not a good match by any means. 3/10 JYD and Tito Santana v Terry and Dory 'Hoss' Funk Jnr: It's nice to see Terry Funk looking more healthier than he does these days. A pretty good match with Terry doing some nice bumping (he gets slammed on to a table at one point). The action was marred by a cheap foreign object ending as Terry pinned JYD after hitting him with Jimmy Hart's megaphone. 6/10 Hulk Hogan v King Kong Bundy steel cage match for the WWF world title: One of those rare cage matches that featured during the 80s where blue steel replaced the usual meshed cage. The match was predictable in it's outcome but a pretty tough outing for the two. At one stage Bundy removes the bandage from Hogan's injured ribs and proceeds to choke him with it and Bundy leaves the match with blood on his face. Hogan goes over the top of the cage to win the match. 6/10A lot of people really dislike this Wrestlemania and often rate it as their worst but it does have a few decent matches. I guess most of the criticism levelled at Wrestlemania II was the PPV structure set in 3 arenas and how much the show has dated because of it's comparatively limited production values and minor celebrity overload. Advert moguls Wendy's 'Where's the beef?' Clara Peller yells into the air while Burger King's Herb dances like a pillock when they get introduced. The pecularities in certain matches (George 'The Animal' Steele vs 'Machoman' Randy Savage and Uncle Elmer vs 'Adorable' Adonis) are interesting too showing the idiosyncrasies and attitudes in wrestling haven't really changed much over the years.

*POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD*I'll only say what hasn't already been said here (and I'll continue this for the rest of my WWF/WWE comments).If you're going to have a Women's title match, at least make it interesting, rather than just a squash to put over the current champion. I guess Moolah couldn't handle an intense match but they wanted to have the legend in a WrestleMania.I thought the Killer Bees were wasted in WrestleManias, especially here. I became a fan in 1989, about a year after the B. Brian Blair was gone and Jim Brunzell became a canvas back. So I didn't realize for a while that they were a top tag team, even top contenders.But I loved seeing Bill Fralic in the battle royal. He really came into his own here, creating a cocky heel character in a pre-match interview and even making an elimination in the battle royal. Besides Steve McMichael and Kevin Greene, he is the only professional athlete from my generation with any respect for wrestling (anyone remember Dennis Rodman?). And what was with the Hart Foundation's ridiculous green tights?

A very lackluster show. I remember being like "What a show!" Back when I first saw it. Well 17 years later and I really dont like any of the card at all. Well thats what happens when you turn from Mark to Smark.The Funks vs. JYD and Tito match was suprinsgly good, while Match of the night honours go to Bulldogs vs. Valentine/Beefcake.Not recommended.BTW, if you want to chat about the good old days of wrestling just drop me an e-mail!