Longhorns (2011)

Before the end of Longhorns all four of the macho frat guys from the University of Texas get down and naked and show their gay side. The only one comfortable in his sexuality is the Latino student Derek Efrain Villanueva who is out and heads the campus gay organization. But he's also the happiest of the lot.Longhorns begins with a sex scene as Jacob Newton is getting ridden hard by some coed and we see he's fantasizing about being a mechanical bull being ridden by some fellow Longhorn. Doing some tutoring is Villanueva and I have to say he is one seductive young man. Believe me seeing Newton and Villanueva took me back a few decades and I know exactly how Newton felt fulfilling what he really wanted.It doesn't happen all at once though and Newton is still trying to keep up his good old boy image. Turns out that his friends Dylan Vox and Stephen Matzke are also doing a little sexual exploring when some promised females don't arrive.And big man on campus Kevin Held might be homophobic, but he does need a passing grade in English.Longhorns is a gay youthful romp through the Reagan years in that bluest of states Texas. You could probably make the same film now and date it as contemporary, attitudes have changed a bit, but it's slow.And this review is dedicated to the late Donald 'Butch' Buchecker of Consohocken, Pennsylvania who made it right for me.

This could have been a really good movie, but it wore out its one-joke theme - straight guys who love nothing better than masturbating together while watching porn - about the third time it played out. That may be a powerful and persistent fantasy and an infallible source of amusement for lots of gay men, but it's not for me, and watching it in a movie gets old very fast. It wasn't even remotely believable the first time it happened, and it got less believable every time.The second recurring theme has one man stripping completely naked and standing still for another, fully clothed man to ogle. Each of the five main characters did it once each, with another of the five (two, in one instance) as the clothed ogler. Was that supposed to be funny too, or was it just an extremely clumsy way to get as much full frontal (but as sterile as a nun) nudity as possible into the movie? So the movie is almost unbearably contrived, stupid and unfunny. It has two redeeming strengths, though.Three of the main cast members are genuine Southerners who talk with real Southern accents, not the Hollywood fake-Southern accents non-Southern actors always affect (even Meryl Streep can't get it right) in movies. Non-Southerners must not be able to tell the difference, but I can, and as a long-time transplant to the North, hearing people who talk like me on screen warms my heart and points out how very, very rarely it happens. Even Southern actors almost never use their native accents in movies, which is sad.The movie's other strength is the cast, particularly Derek Villanueva and Dylan Vox, who shine (Jacob Newton, though sort of cute, is a little weak as the lead). I wish someone would remake Longhorns with the same cast but as a serious movie, not a very lame, very unfunny comedy.

I was honestly not expecting too much. This was obviously a low-budget, indie production, so I readied myself for all the inevitable flaws that this usually entails.I was pleasantly surprised: the production values weren't incredible, but they were definitely better than one might expect, the script was smart, touching and funny, and the acting was much better than I anticipated, especially the two leads. I think what particularly worked for me was the humor, it added a nice, knowing wink to the loveliness of this little gem.This is the story of a Texan "all-American" boy at college who seemingly conforms to the stereotype in every way back in the early 80's. When he meets an openly gay student, he has to confront himself for the first time in his life. Or does he?

A cast of unexciting, not especially good-looking actors, most of whom would not make the cut in an audition for a high school play, certainly complement the mediocre, sophomoric story.All the indoor scenes appear to have been shot in various rooms of a $5 a night motel and one suspects their rental expense probably consumed most of the production budget.The standard over-worked components of a gay-themed movie, homophobia, state of denial and self-revelation, are played out awkwardly, are totally unbelievable and generate no emotion other than acute embarrassment for all concerned, especially the viewer.This might have been cutting-edge 40 years ago, but these days there is no shortage of well written, superbly acted and beautifully produced movies dealing with all aspects of gay life. This oeuvre is to 21st century gay-themed movies what Amos & Andy would be to modern Black cinematic entertainment.Even worse, it appears to have been mistakenly labeled a comedy. The comedic highlights include: (a)One of the characters has given names to his three house plants and (b) The same character unintentionally wears blue jeans on Wear Blue Jeans if You're Gay Day. I hope revealing that didn't spoil the hilarity for anyone.Don't bother.