Alchemy (2005)

I watched this as a Netflix streaming movie. I was drawn to it mostly because it features Tom Cavanagh who played the bowling alley lawyer on the early 2000s TV series "Ed." I enjoy his acting style, and in "Alchemy" plays much the same type of character, but is a computer nerd instead.Tom Cavanagh is Mal Downey who is a professor doing research in advanced computer intelligence. When he comes to work, his voice is all that is needed for the computer, Jerry, to unlock his lab door. But Mal finds out his funding, AND his employment, will end shortly unless he becomes published.The rest is pure silliness, but entertaining silliness. Mal decides to try to get published by staging a competition between his computer and a noted speaker, the "love Guru", to see which can get a test subject, a pretty girl, to say "I Love You." Michael Ian Black who was on of Ed's bowling alley employees on the TV series is the voice of the computer, Jerry. Sarah Chalke is the subject, the pretty girl, Samantha Rose . James Barbour is the love Guru, Dr. Troy Rollins.Do you think Mal will get the girl in the end? And maybe forget about trying to get published? That is my guess.

Mal (Tom Cavanaugh) is a typical anti-social professor, totally obsessed with his own research. So much so that he has failed to do the 1st commandment of university instruction, "publish or perish". Therefore, unless he gets his recent findings into a major journal, his days are numbered as a researcher. His friend and colleague (Ileanna Douglas) has also tried to set Mal up with women but he has always been reluctant. Now, Mal turns to a former girlfriend (Nadia Dajani), who also happens to be an editor at a major woman's magazine called Belladonna, to help him get his current study into an article. You see, Mal has actually programmed a computer to "romance a woman" with catch phrases and displays of interest in what the woman actually says. Well, well. Therefore, Mal proposes an article about HIS computer competing for the affections of a chosen female against an actual male. The arrangements are made and the two other parties are selected, a pretty female named Samantha (Sarah Chalke) and a major masculine player, Dr. Love (Troy Rollins), also a professor. But, soon after the project starts, Samantha longs to meet the fellows she has been talking to so Mal must don the persona of a smooth Frenchman who, nevertheless, gets all of his lines from the computer ALONE and Dr. Love is, of course, himself. With two males in avid pursuit, which one will Sam choose? This is a cute, charming film despite having no major stars and an implausible premise. All of the actors do a fine job in their respected roles, although Douglas is virtually wasted. However, how nice to see Celeste Holm, as Mal's grandmother, for she is a major scene stealer. The obviously tight budget has resulted in a film that is only adequate in production values, for although the costumes are nice, the camera-work is amateurish. Nonetheless, if you adore romantic comedy and often are at odds in finding something new to watch, you should make efforts to locate this film. As in history, this Alchemy turns a somewhat leaden storyline into a golden experience for such viewers.

Just returned from the Annapolis Film Festival and I came here to comment on ALCHEMY, the opening night film that seemed to go over really well at the Festival. As I got to IMDb, I was surprised to see so many bad reviews, however, I think most people judge things much too harshly these days. After all, this is a romantic comedy, not exactly a genre meant to break new ground in film. But rather, one that is purely meant to entertain.And, IMHO, this film does just that. It entertains. It's a cute, funny movie, and worth seeing. Heck, it's worth seeing if only for the performance of Sarah Chalke, who brought a realism and believability to the romance. See the film, and you WILL know what I mean.So often, in lower budget films the acting can be a major weakness, but here, it's a major strength. And in my opinion, none was better than Chalke, who I couldn't quite place where I recognized her from. There was a Q&A afterward, and the director reminded me that Miss Chalke is on SCRUBS. Overall, I really enjoyed this romantic comedy, so much so, that I will be looking for it again on ABC Family Channel.After all, it does what it's supposed to do: entertain the viewer!

This is one of the worse movies I have ever seen. It reminded me of a bad pilot that never got picked up and instead got crammed into a poor excuse of a film. The story was stupid, the characters were shallow and not likable, and the jokes would not land. If you took Tom Cavanah out of this movie, it would have a below zero rating, but I have to admit he did an OK job considering how horrible the script was. This was the worse thing in the Tribeca Film festival (I saw home videos that turned out better than this). Do not see this movie unless you are a teenage girl who likes sappy, unsophisticated, not believable, and shallow material.