Hardware Wars (1978)

This is a recurring joke in "Hardware Wars", a "Star Wars" fan film made shortly after the original over 35 years ago. It was written and directed by Ernie Fosselius, a fairly successful sound artist, who made parodies on other films as well, such as "Apocalype Now". This 13-minute movie did not appeal to me much, then again I am not the biggest "Star Wars" fan, which may very well be the reason. The humour is action-based and dialogue-based, but rarely funny. There are references on "The Wizard of Oz" and "Sesame Street" in here too. All in all, I was not impressed by this little movie. Actually surprised to see it so appreciated and famous. I myself have no intention to watch it ever again. Thumbs down.

Nothing is sacred in Ernie Fosselius' "Hardware Wars", a 13-minute trailer that takes droll to a whole new level. And that's why it's still the best in the well-tread "Star Wars send-up" genre.It's a film that demands not to be taken seriously, delighting in pointing out the clichés and plot holes of the original "Star Wars" and playing them up for maximum chuckles. With character names like Fluke Starbucker, Ham Salad (this one kills me), and Darph Nader, and a muppet standing in for Chewbacca, I don't see how anyone warm-blooded mammal can sit through this without a cheesy grin or at least a facepalm. And when you throw in the found objects that make for the film's "tech" (a basketball Death Star, flying toasters, tape recorders, and steam irons), the entire film is just one big visual gag."Hardware Wars" cries out audience participation, demanding to be seen with a large group. ... Complete with cinnamon buns on the head and waving around flashlights.8/10

I caught this little gem totally by accident back in 1980 or '81. I was at a revival theatre to see two old silly sci-fi movies. The theatre was packed full and (with no warning) they showed a bunch of sci-fi short spoofs (to get us in the mood). Most were somewhat amusing but THIS came on and, within seconds, the audience was in hysterics! The biggest laugh came when they showed "Princess Laia" having huge cinnamon buns instead of hair on her head. She looks at the camera, gives a grim smile and nods. That made it even funnier! You gotta see "Chewabacca" played by what looks like a Muppet! It was extremely silly and stupid...but I couldn't stop laughing. Most of the dialogue was drowned out because of all the laughter. Also if you know "Star Wars" pretty well it's even funnier--they deliberately poke fun at some of the dialogue. This REALLY works with an audience! A definite 10!

The hysterical Hardware Wars is finally out on DVD. HW has earned its niche among parody classics and is not only a riotous little 20 minute short but a staple in low budget film production classes, which is where a lot of the film's cult status is derived from and resides. With the DVD, not only do we get a chance to revisit the original parody (4Q2, Cinnamon-Bun Head, Ballistic Toast, et al) that Ernie F. did in 1978, but there is a lot of additional material showcasing the Fosselius wit. Antique Sideshow is a dead-on parody that is very funny but makes a statement about the confluence of ignorance and greed at the same time. The Director's Commentary is also hysterical, as is the Creature Feature which parodies taking a film out on the talk-show circuit and actually IS based on taking HW out on the talk show circuit, albeit the public access circuit. I'd love to see Ernie, Michael Wiese and crew take on some other, contemporary overblown and overbudgeted targets to parody -- like just about any film that Hollywood churns out at $100 million a pop these days -- not so much the crafty films like Spider Man or Men In Black (actually parodies themselves!) but any number of overblown, overhyped, overwrought and overpriced features.