Prisoners of the Lost Universe (1983)

By accident a scientist by the name of "Dr. Hartman" (Kenneth Hendel), a young television reporter known as "Carrie Madison" (Kay Lenz) and a maintenance man named "Dan" (Richard Hatch) find themselves transported to "a strange and violent land" existing in another dimension. Once there they encounter a number of hostile people and creatures in a desperate struggle to survive. Anyway, so much for the plot. As far as the movie is concerned it pretty much featured one ridiculous "comic book" scenario after another filled with corny dialogue, bad acting, cheap costumes and ludicrous characters. It was pretty bad. As a matter of fact, about the only thing worth mentioning was the presence of Dawn Abraham ("Shareen") and the aforementioned Kay Lenz who at least added some nice scenery to an otherwise totally wasted effort. In summation, my strong recommendation is that you spare yourself from wasting an hour and a half on this drab and uninteresting film. You will be doing yourself a huge favor.

The production team behind this sword and sorcery movie come with a fair amount of baggage . Director Terry Marcel and producer Harry Robertson had previously made HAWK THE SLAYER a film so bad that it almost attracted a cult following , almost . Certainly HAWK is a memorable film but not in any good way and Marcel and Robertson continue in the same vein here PRISONERS OF THE LOST UNIVERSE is another sword and sorcery film where modern day protagonists from the 20th Century , a TV presenter called Carrie and a truck driver called Dan find themselves transported to an alternative universe that sees different medieval tribes warring against one another with the upper hand being held by a tyrant called Kleel If the above makes you fear you're going to be watching a nonsensical movie then you'd be right . That said it's also a movie that doesn't take itself entirely serious . I was somewhat surprised as to how involving some of the film is and didn't find myself continually wishing for it to finish despite never once thinking it was ever in danger of being a good movie . In some ways it also reminded me of the TV show THE 10TH KINGDOM that might have very well be inspired by this camp movie

None seems to at least have noticed that this is comedy; one for grown—ups, though, despite the mindless fantasy plot. Now here is a movie that will likely change your world-view. Kidding, of course. It most certainly won't. POTLU at least begins as a lighthearted romp with a female lead, blonde—none other than Kay Lenz. From the very first scenes you have the assets—crazy science, danger, sexiness; the music plays like STAR WARS for the fair. The ground is shaken by an earthquake; the blonde fears a proposed spanking, the mad scientist she then meets looks a bit like the apologist and don Lewis. The flick is '80s; which, basically, means sloppy, vulgar and funny, replete with goofiness—where '70s would mean vulgar and unfunny, suffused with sentimentality. When talking about goofiness, it doesn't matter whether its use is deliberate—but whether it's clever. In POTLU, the use of the goofiness isn't particularly clever. Yet psychologically and humorously, it's sound—even transported in another dimension, a guy needs to feel a lady's ass. (The lady's crisp reply is a bit popular among fans of such C flicks.) So, the basic human drives abide. A blonde and her sidekick slide into another dimension, in a Conan world where they meet strange races, various attackers, and the blonde is kidnapped by a warlord. So that, after the first several minutes, the movie gladly switches to fantasy, and the Sci—Fi is over. After dropping this promising Sci—Fi intro, 'Lost Universe' goes on as a silly comedy, aimed at undemanding adults. (2) The mean guy is Saxon, a cult—actor, the mean son of a bitch, the missing link between Reynolds and Ironside (all three came in Connery's footsteps, as it has been said about Stallone and Brando; from the trio, I enjoy Ironside, I occasionally watch Reynolds, and I dislike Saxon—save for an Italian western he redeemed himself with, once …); to enhance his barbarity, Saxon wears some red trousers. Saxon is mainly mean, dull, and _charmless. The fights are mostly slapstick. It's a goofy comedy, so they all behave like crazy buffoons. It's so mindless, and it's basically not for kids. (3) The main reason for a guy to see 'Lost Universe' is Kay Lenz; but the girl next door, if you can get her, is a lot better than Kay on the screen. Kids might enjoy the adventures of the three sliders, as well. It's a movie people like; a silly comedy, careless and goofy, with a handful of slapstick. And for fans, like myself, of sexy starlets, this flick provides a chance to enrich their shrine (I began with Drew Barrymore, Lara Flynn Boyle, Shannon Tweed, Lysette Anthony, Tanya Roberts, Joan Severance, Patsy Kensit, Penelope Ann Miller—and Jessica Lange, probably not fitting that label, though!)—I mean, Kay Lenz. (4) The IMDb writers I'm reading now are Nuschler (who seems to have ceased writing …) and Gridoon (who's a bit dismissive at times, a bit unfair—but please read him on PILLOW TALK, THE SALTON SEA, PRISON SHIP, etc.)—so make this a tribute to them. (5) So, have a nice time watching 'Lost Universe', or thinking about it. Yet, instead of focusing vainly on Kay's ass, check out the girl next door!

Simply labeling "Prisoners of the Lost Universe" as a fun bad movie just doesn't cover it. This is another one of these rare discoveries where you can laugh non-stop, from start until finish, with all the ineptitude in the script as well as the lousy special effects and flamboyant characters. Last time I had so much fun watching a bad B- movie was with either "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom" or "The Puma Man"; both of them obscure and righteously long-forgotten early 80's Sci-Fi fantasy amalgamations as well. All these movies were desperately trying to cash in on all the numerous contemporary popular movie franchises and TV-shows, like "Star Wars" and "Battlestar Gallactica" but usually ended up on the lowest shelves of raunchy video stores or straight on cable TV. Right from the "Star Wars"-styled title sequence and complementary stolen theme music, you just know "Prisoners of the Lost Universe" will become a real and authentic exploitation beauty! The incompetence of the script is immediately noticeable when the characters, who are supposed to be living and working in California USA, are introduced whilst driving cars with the steering wheel at the right side! I know the movie was shot in South Africa, but writer/director Terry Marcel could at least have tried to find two authentic American or European cars with the wheel on the left side? Then, they go and meet a scientist who created a device that can teleport human DNA to other parallel dimensions. Pretty genius, of course, but stupidly enough he made his machine a little too sensitive and even the smallest earthquake – and they occur quite frequently in California – makes the thing go off. This is what happens to a babbling TV-hostess and a nagging plumber when they, following a series of banal circumstances, end up at the scientist's mansion. They arrive in an alternate dimension where every minute lasts several hours. The dimension also homes a whole assemblage of funky humanoids and eccentric monsters, either good (like the green man and the humble man-beast) or bad (like the hateful warlord Kleel). So basically, once inside the parallel dimension, "Prisoners of the Lost Universe" actually becomes quite reminiscent to Dorothy's dreamy journey in "The Wizard of Oz". With his girlfriend Carrie kidnapped by Kleel, Dan teams up with three eccentric locals to go and rescue her. Their voyage is full of obstacles and dangerous ordeals, but love & friendship conquers everything … or something like that! Most of the stuff going on in "Prisoners of the Lost Universe" is just too ridiculous for words and/or doesn't make a lick of sense. There's something new and thoroughly stupid getting introduced every 30 seconds, like little Martian-type creatures with flashing red eyes or a gold- painted giant spontaneously combusting when he touches a fiery rock! John Saxon, who sometimes gives the impression of being embarrassed for starring in yet another lousy Z-grade movie, depicts the ultimately evil SOB. He's a greedy and power-obsessed tyrant who beats women and joyfully goes around blasting away his own henchmen with a self-made shotgun. He's easily the best thing about this whole movie, although Kay Lenz (a fairly unknown Kim Basinger look-alike) and Richard Hatch (Captain Apollo from "Battlestar Gallactica") aren't too bad either. In spite of the really lousy sound and make-up effects, the tone and suggested violence of the film are often quite harsh and there even are a couple of bloody and grim swashbuckling fights. What else you need to know ... ? Oh yeah, movies such as this usually feature an annoying midget who provides the comic relief and a gigantic Chewbacca type of pet animal. In the case of this piece of junk it's even a kleptomaniac midget and a Man-Beast who talks almost as incomprehensibly as Chewbacca. There are zombies too and, I swear, John Saxon is at his sexiest when he plays a villainous character with whiskers! What are you waiting for? You're off to see "Prisoners of the Lost Universe"