Outer Touch (1981)

A friend of mine, who's something of an authority on low-budget British sex films, once told me 'as far as I'm concerned, there's Eskimo Nell, and then there's everything else'. After seeing this entertainingly wacky soft-core sci-fi spoof, with its jukebox / computer combo, special effects cribbed from the Gerry Anderson archives, end-of-the-pier revue-standard gags and an unlikely super- stud in the form of a spotty nerd who we first see masturbating frantically over a copy of the delightfully titled 'Bouncers' magazine, I'd say 'as far as I'm concerned, there's Spaced Out, and then there's everything else'. Consider this for a moment. Does Eskimo Nell have the most gloriously seventies collection of analogue technology hardware since Graeme Garden's computers (with their enormous tape spools) in the Goodies? Does Eskimo Nell have Glory Annen doing numerous costume changes, one of which is a sexy Beefeater on roller skates? Does Eskimo Nell have the very cute and busty Ava Cadell as an insatiable space nympho? Does Eskimo Nell have a computer with a prissy Anthony Daniels as CP30- type voice, or a snarky electronic psychiatrist housed inside a Wurlitzer jukebox which basically advises henpecked boyfriends to rape their fiancees to show 'em who's boss? Does Eskimo Nell have a jarringly out-of-place downbeat finale that reminds everyone in the cinema that they're watching a film from the director of Satan's Slave and Terror? Does Eskimo Nell have a spacecraft whose interior looks like a combined leftover set from the Tomorrow People and a swinging bachelor pad? Does Eskimo Nell have a Clouseau-style fight scene where the injured party's exclamations are doused in enough echo to make the viewer feel like he's stoned, even if he's on nothing stronger than orange squash? Does Eskimo Nell have a special chair that performs sodomy by stealth on the unfortunate fool who sits on it?The answers to all these questions and more is NO! I'm not going to sugar coat it, you have to be a certain type of viewer to get a kick out of Spaced Out. It's a film aimed at people who like cheapskate exploitation films, big boobs, dumb jokes and plots that play out like a live action Tijuana Bible. It also has a surprisingly excellent soundtrack. After years - no, decades - in obscurity, Spaced Out has received a welcome (if bare-bones) DVD release in the UK from Odeon, and it's well worth tracking down if you're in the mood for something that will make you laugh, make you wince, and make you feel a bit randy. And deep down, you know that's what you want.

This film, originally titled Outer Touch but now called by its American title, Spaced Out, is getting a bit of a cult following though why this should be is a bit of a mystery because it isn't really that good. It is written in the style of the British "Confessions" films but without the panache. The sets were left-overs from another film and bits from Space 1999 were spliced in. The humour is distinctly British low-brow with the expected sexual innuendos.Three gorgeous female aliens crash-land on Earth and take four (three male and one female) prisoners. Never having seen men before, it's not long before the men are subject to intense scrutiny and testing. How is it that this alien species which has never experienced men have all the female bits that men lust after? Charles Darwin has a lot of explaining to do. Of course, in typical sex comedy style, once they experience earthmen, they can't get enough of it.There are some good moments in this film such as Glory Annen examining Tony Maiden, and Ava Cadell testing Michael Rowlatt. Barry Stokes is like Clark Kent but without the charisma. The voice of the Wurlitzer was changed for the American market as well as the music. The ending for the American version was also changed. Compared to the US VHS, the US Region 1 DVD (both R-rated) has been panned and scanned to cut out some of the flesh. For the UK DVD, the film (double-billed with Sex Clinic) looks to be the original British version.

The best thing about this was the typical dry delivery Brit humor is famous for.A UFO full of sexy female aliens comes to earth to check out male sexuality. They take a medical approach that gradually turns into full fledged desire. The males are your basic cross section. The wannabe Lothario, the geeky student, etc.The student had most of the best lines. He saw it all as scientific as well, for a while at least.The technical aspects aren't that great though. The print I saw seemed dark and it was obvious they didn't have a lot of area to work with. It looked like they used 2 or 3 rooms in a local studio. Keep dressing it up different and no one will notice right? It was funny. Had some good bits. Call it another late night flick with beer and the gang.

Okay, this movie is pretty cheesy, but it is funny in places, the stereotypical gay computer and "America's Funniest Home Videos" Bob Saget as a drugged out stoner juke box do some very amusing voice over work with lots of funny one liners. But the real treat in this sci fi sex romp is the fresh faced Glory Annen, who's whole part is basically an excuse for her to rollerskate around half nekkid! Ya gotta luv that! There's a particularly bizarre scene where Ms. Annen does a weird little dance number to some 70's style rock music and her clothes vanish suddenly for no reason. This movie doesn't make much sense but its in the same wacky vein as "Plan 9 From Outer Space", its not supposed to make sense I guess. Too bad Glory Annen quit show business a few years after this, she was one hot mama, in my somewhat less than humble opinion.