Swarmed (2005)

Wow, I caught this on TV, and was dumbfounded the entire time. This movie is unbelievably bad. Poor acting, bad writing, predictable format, just so generally unconvincing, not amusing, unbelievably bad! There are not nearly enough poor comments posted here! I mean we're watching killer bees here, attacking people.. we don't even see them stinging? .. the girl couldn't unlock the door and get out of the car in that time?! Please! If we must go to lengths of entertaining the idea that this many people can be killed by swarming bees, before using their brains and defeating them, then the actors should at least convince us that they're feeling genuinely threatened, and not completely stupid!

On the surface, this movie is about mutated wasps that make a huge swarm to kill people.In effect,it is light comedy, and obviously done on purpose. This is one of those movies that has a lot of little things, and probably a lot in the background that I didn't bother noticing, but that the geeks surely will.The formula story of the officials who refuse to believe in an emergency situation, straight from "Jaws", the ambitious reporter, the camera man who will do anything to get a camera shot, the few people who know what is going on that no one will listen to (which is actually true to life, which is what makes these movies work.) All of these are in this movie.There are then the light hearted comic bits. The head honcho macho guy who has a spotter for his 65 pound bench press will crack up any gym goer. The attacks as seen from the bug's point of view is purposely comical. The girl using a rifle to shoot at a wasp. These and other little things make this formula movie almost bearable. It is possibly made for those who will try to spot little things. A great movie for the dorks, but with enough obvious comedy to appease the masses somewhat. Not a great flick, but not a bad one.

SPOILERS Okay, I must admit, I do enjoy those campy Sci-Fi movies when they are on. They try to be scary, but they just end up being a hilarious comedy with terrible acting and moments when you want to yell at the person in the movie for doing something incredibly stupid. Well, Swarmed is no exception. Even though I must say that it is better than most of the Sci-Fi made-for-TV-movies, hence the reason I am giving it a two instead of one, this was just a pathetic film that started off as a comedy and never stopped. I mean, the people in this movie clearly have no idea what they are doing. For example, when a woman is being attacked by one single bee, she uses a shotgun, and never hits her target. Now, she could use one if she was fighting a whole swarm, but using the shotgun against one little bee is just plain dumb.Here is the plot of this movie. When a chemical leak occurs, bug busters Q and Rafe have to fight the rapidly increasing population of bees in the town. When they do that, they get help from Kent Horvath, who gives them poison to fight against the bees. However the poison only makes them even more powerful and aggressive. Kent eventually starts to hunt with them, and so does bug expert Christina Brown. They quickly realize that the population is increasing more and more, and the town festival is approaching. They need to get rid of the bees before it is too late. At the festival the bees attack the entire city, killing hundreds. Q, Rafe, Kent, and Christina manage to destroy most of them. They then lure the rest of the bees into a garage and blow it up. They bees are gone, except for one, and the film ends.Overall, this is a cheesy, over-the-top, and corny time. In the category so-bad-it's-good, this movie fits perfectly. You will laugh more than you will jump. In fact, you will not jump at all. I must admit, though, even with all my negative comments, there are some creative death scenes, like when a man hides from the bees in a dunk tank, and breathes using a hose, and the bees fly into the hose, and sting him inside the mouth. That was kind of neat. Anyway, with all the cheesy CGI, the terrible acting, and the pure corny elements of this film, it is impossible to call this movie a good one. It is a great comedy, but for horror, it falls flat.2/10 Recommended Films: Frankenfish, Mega-Snake.

"Swarmed" is a clichéd and blood-less but still fun creature feature.**SPOILERS**Following an accidental chemical leak, exterminators Q, (Richard Chevolleau) and Rafe, (Jonathan Malen) are sent out to take care of an increased yellow-jackets in the area. After one assignment, they take more poison from Dr. Kent Horvath, (Michael Shanks) only to take the last batch of the chemical accidentally on their next job. Spraying the bugs with the poison, it results in them getting ultra-aggressive and forcing them to take stock of the fact that they took the accidental spray. Dr. Horvath joins the hunt, but when coupled with their increased mating drive, are unsuccessful and call in Cristina Brown, (Carol Alt) a prominent insect expert to help them. Realizing that their path will take them in direct contact with a small-town and their upcoming harvest festival, they race against time to stop the swarm before it overtakes the country.The Good News: This wasn't as bad as it could've been and does have a few decent points. For once, the CGI is pretty solid. Granted, computer generating yellow jackets isn't that huge of a feat, but these little creatures look convincing enough. A few shots betray their digital creation, but the vast majority of the yellow jacket sequences are effective. And when they do come across as a bit too unrealistic, it doesn't matter because it fits the lighter mood of the film. This is a real case that the CGI doesn't distract, even when it's sub-par, is a great plus for the film. When it gets down to it, the insect mayhem itself is decent. While there are presumably a finite number of inventive "sting-kills" one could conjure up, this one manages to throw together some entertaining dispatches. One guy gets a stinger square in the eye, another while hiding in a dunk tank, sucking in air through a hose inadvertently swallows a few enterprising bugs, a girl is overtaken inside a car when the jackets ooze through the heater vents, and more than a few victims are gang-stung. Most of these scenes are prefaced by a yellow-jacket POV shot, which is cheesy but appropriate for the film's tone. It's the ending, though, that really scores a lot of great scenes, as the long-promised overtaking of the festival that draws the best response from the film. To see that kind of mayhem is the general reason to see these, and it doesn't disappoint at all, and the on-screen action isn't that terrible. This also resorts to going for some cheap laughs, such as the one-liners uttered or by having someone go nuts and chase a lone wasp around a building blasting away it with a shotgun. The cheesy tone helps to make it more bearable and this does it well. Altogether, this could've been a lot worse than it is.The Bad News: This here does have some problems with it. The main factor is that there is really no surprise with this one. It's so clichéd and unoriginal that it's possible to watch only five minutes of this and know what's going to happen. That doesn't make the viewers who enjoy strong plots all that impressed when you know the film before getting into it. It's also pretty irritated that the film, for all it's cool deaths, manages to sneak out without showing anything in terms of gore or blood. There's not so much as a drop spilled in this, despite an entire massacre at a big festival or even some other deaths, which show nothing at all. Most annoying of all is that the film constantly resorts to showing us the wasps' point-of-view. The decision to make it look like it was filmed through the bottom of an amber-colored soda bottle to simulate what they were seeing is utterly nonsensical. There really is no need for it since virtually every creature movie has required some type of colored creature vision. The pace is also a little off, as it does take a while to get into the attacks and spends the majority of the beginning setting up the possible effects of the serum and ignoring the creatures until the middle section, and while it does redeem the film slightly, the technical jabber isn't that interesting. Overall, this wasn't as bad as it could've been, but it loses a couple points for the errors it does have.The Final Verdict: While it's not that bad of a creature feature, the strikes it does have are the worst ones it can have. Being slow, clichéd and quite bloodless isn't that endearing, but when it gets going, there's some good action and a nice cheesy charm, so there's far worse ones out there than this to waste on. Give it a shot, but don't set expectations too high.Rated PG-13: Violence