Shelter Island (2003)

This is a strange little accident of a movie. Shelter Island is a complete and utter failure at being a thriller. Yet it still manages to generate a perverse watchability when it dwells on the sexual politics of lesbianism.Louise "Lou" Delamere (Ally Sheedy) is a champion pro golfer and motivational speaker living the good life in New York City with her live-in girlfriend Alex (Patsy Kensit). After Lou is attacked by a man in the street, seemingly at random, Alex decides to take her recovering lover out to their new weekend home on the resort community of Shelter Island. After a brief encounter with the cluelessly sleazy local sheriff (Chris Penn), Lou and Alex make it out to their gigantic house just as Alex's friend Carly (Mimi Langeland) finishes getting it ready for them. After a bad storm rolls in and knocks out the power, Lou and Alex find a battered stranger at their door. Lenny (Stephen Baldwin) claims to be a clammer caught up in the storm and becomes an overnight guest who greatly bothers Alex and forges an odd relationship with Lou. It's like a homoerotic vibe, but between a man and a gay woman. When morning comes, it's like the film suddenly remembers it's supposed to be a thriller and bad stuff happens and people are not who we thought they were, leading to an ending that labors mightily in the pursuit of clever but only succeeds in being labored.Judged as a thriller, Shelter Island is darn near a fiasco. For the first 60 minutes of the movie, there's virtually no tension or suspense or excitement of any kind. It's like some sort of constipated lesbian romance, and I don't mean a romance involving constipated lesbians. Then the violence and threat kick in out of nowhere, ushering in a horde of stupid and nonsensical crap that runs wild through the movie like Mongols after a turkey dinner. There's even a scene that absolutely defies explanation, like a magic trick gone horribly, horribly wrong.But since the film is only 82 minutes long, all that stuff, as bad as it is, goes by quickly enough that you can't really dwell on it. What you do notice is the interesting dynamic that the film develops, where Lou can't stand the feminine cattiness of Alex's friend Carly but is intrigued by the blunt masculinity of Lenny. Lou is a pro athlete and has a certain machismo. However, she lives in a world that doesn't engage her on that level and when she finds it in Lenny, she can't deny the appeal. Somewhere in the depths of this script is the outline of one of those overly serious indy movies about the fluid nature of modern relationships, bobbing its head above water every so often to cry for help.There's also some female nudity in Shelter Island, most of it done by body doubles. But someone impersonating someone else's naked body is still naked. Rest assured, though, when you see Stephen Baldwin's ass on screen, it's the real deal.I can't recommend a film that misfires so badly at what it's trying to do. Nevertheless, I kinda liked it. Take that for all it's worth.

this movie is pretty awful. it lacks suspense and is all around boring and worthless. i connected with none of the characters and now as i think back, i can't even remember how it ends. don't waste your time w/ it. actually i think why i don't remember the end is because i fast forwarded to the end, i do that sometimes, so i can say i've seen a film but i don't have to actually sit and watch the whole thing, i usually get the gist though. it's a bad habit really, if it's getting too long or i'm just feeling too fidgety or it's boring i'll fast forward. i always feel a little guilty when i do it though. like i'm disrespecting the director, and i am, but i've got other things to do than watch a crappy film. now mind you i've only done this a few times and this film happens to be on my 'sucky' film list.

This movie is an elementary school production. Everything about it exudes an immaturity and lack of sophistication that can be overwhelming if you aren't expecting it. Still, I suspect some people can enjoy this freshman effort. It all depends on which part of the audience you belong.Are you one of the people obligated to like it, like parents watching their child up on the stage? Are you an Ally Sheedy fan filled with false hope that she's finally making a return to decent film like High Art? Are you a lesbian sexploitation fan anticipatory that maybe this bad sex scene isn't the only one in the film? Or are you that diehard thriller fan who, during the end credits, is still looking for a redeemable moment of tension? If you could potentially be any of the above. stay away.I suspect most of you will be the bored sibling in the crowd who was forced into watching this crummy play by a loved one. If this happens to be you, try your best to endure it, and maybe later seek sweet revenge by subjecting this loved one to a bad film you enjoy.And the few of you who might genuinely have a blast with this film, are the teenagers who sneak into the back of the auditorium to make fun of the little kids on-stage. For you guys, this movie is great riffing fodder. A true treat to the MST3K crowd, and only for you can I recommended Shelter Island.

I saw the opening of this film at a film festival on long island, and i was disgusted. The movie has absolutely no plot... doesn't make any sense... and uses nudity very distastefully. I think the director just needed to shoot the film out of his sexual fantasies. I will say the acting isn't half bad, but the movie itself is a waste of time. I wouldn't recommend anyone to see this film unless you're a teenage boy looking for a sleazy girl-on-girl kinda movie.