Cobra Woman (1944)

This film is far beyond camp and so bad that it is bad again! There are many bad films who are at least fun to watch, but not this. Although only 70 minutes long you feel every one of it. I was watching it at Vienna's International Film Festival and regretted it heavily. Kenneth Anger presented the film and that was the only entertaining thing about it. For the rest of the time I tried to decide what was worse, the acting, the dialog, the story or the outrageous costumes and sets. Robert Siodmak must have closed his eyes and ears during shooting this and hoping for a better chance, which he got. The three main actors were easily upstaged by a chimpanzee and even that one would have had a strong rival in his colleague from the Tarzan series.Maria Montez and Jon Hall did a fine job not to look into the camera while speaking that stupid dialog without laughing but that was about it. Sabu was even worse. I had to close my eyes several times when he was on screen. I don't need to mention that his role was degradingly racist, but he did nothing to show you that he had more sense than the role demanded.If this had come from a small studio of Poverty Row I would not talk about it at all. But this was a Technicolor production by Universal Pictures during WWII with an unusual amount of outdoor scenes. A lot of money went into the sets and costumes as well. I do suspect that not only Kenneth Anger saw this film in his early days, I believe so did Stephen Spielberg. The costumes, sets and some parts of the story reminded me of "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom". But Spielbergs film had a definitely better screenplay and actors as well!

This has to be one of the most hilarious bad films of all time. I gave it a 5: 1 for film but 10 for the fun (equals out to a 5). It has what was well on the way to becoming Maria's "stock company" Jon Hall, Sabu and Turhan Bey (except Cobra Woman was without Turhan Bey). Mary Nash plays, I think, the high-priestess of the Cobra Temple or maybe even Maria's nanny(it's been a while since I saw it and it's not available on VHS or DVD so you must depend on the very occasional TV showings to catch it)with her very best Maria Ouspenskaya (the slowest taking woman on the screen...by the time she finished you either forget what she was talking about or no longer cared!). The 2 Marias actually appeared in one film together, The Mystery Of Marie Roget. Pity there were no more. Maria did a couple of films with the always over-the-top Gale Sondergaard. A great pairing. Montez is responsible for two of the funniest moments in screen history; one from SUDAN (again the stock company but less Sabu). Jon Hall discoveries her in the desert, dying from lack of water...BUT...her hair is perfectly coiffed and not a touch of makeup is out of place. (Old Hollywood...don't you just love it!) And the other is in Cobra Woman. After they have overthrown both the high priest and Maria's evil twin sister (is there any other kind?)the country is without a ruler. Nash pleads with her to take possession of the Cobra Throne but she refuses, preferring to go away with Hall and Sabu on their fishing boat. Nash (in her very best Ouspenskaya) says to her: "But mine chhhild, your peep-ole neeed 'chu" Then, without even changing the expression on her face (which she seldom did anyway) Maria turns to her and utters the unforgettable line: "Gif me dah Cob-bra Jo-ols." In my mind still one of the most fall-down-funny lines in the history of film.

I once showed part of this film to a friend (now deceased.) who said testily that he'd seen it a long time ago. But once the Universal-International dancers' Cobra number got going, he said he was hooked and was literally rolling on the floor having forgotten how truly great it was! (This was, no doubt due to the consummate klutziness of these dancers!) One Maria is great but two are truly great and maybe she and her costar Jon Hall should have been cast in the infinitely greater "Thief of Bagdad" which did at least have Sabu. (Now maybe these two couldn't really act but then neither could the actual leading couple in "Thief".) A camp gem with the Queen of Technicolor.

Even though this movie was somewhat kind of cheesy but the reason I was watch this movie cause I can't get enough of how beautiful Maria Montez is and it's too bad that she died at such a really young age cause she was the beautiful queen of technicolor.This movie is about Tollea and her fiance Ramu (Maria Montez and Jon Hall, respectivly) who are about to get married on their wedding day and Tollea is forced to go back home to her Cobra people to stop her cruel twin sister Naja's (also done by Maria Montez) wickedness and Ramu and his young buddy Kado (Sabu) go out and try to find her and Ramu mistook Naja as Tollea and as the Cobra law against strangers, they are executed and when the fire mountain gets angry, the people are sentenced to die without question.Overall if you love old cheesy technicolor movies then you should go watch this movie cause it is a clever way to spend 75 minutes of your time and it needs to be released on video and DVD, it's much better than watching most of today's junk. 8/10 stars