Tank Battalion (1958)

The Korean war is the setting for this minimized action film that opens up with the leads in a tank but soon switches to the kissing rock as the three tank men all find romance as war slowly creeps up on them. I must say, I hadn't expected to find a film with Edward G. Robinson Jr. in it, and frankly, I didn't even think about it while watching this, never once hearing "n'ya" or "see?". I did, however, recognize future Riddler Frank Gorshin as one of the men, and was particularly enthralled by stage and soap veteran BarBara Luna. She's quite memorable as a misunderstood bar girl, as sultry as "West Side Story's" Anita, a role she played a decade later at Lincoln Center.This doesn't really deal with war related issues until more than half into the film's length. That's when a Korean soldier invades the camp, searching for medication, but really not much else happens. In spite of that, I actually enjoyed this very much, although it is obvious to me that this was made for the drive-in crowd and little regard was put into a serious war plot. Regina Gleason and Leslie Parrish pale in comparison to Luna who looks on befuddled as her innocent beau tells her about his home in Wisconsin, referring to it as "Brooklyn with cows".

This movie begins with a single American tank participating in combat and suffering from gear problems. As a result the crew of four is ordered to return to base for repairs. When they get back the story evolves into a romantic drama with two of the soldiers involved with two nurses while a third soldier falls in love with a local bar girl. It's at this point that the movie proceeds at an extremely slow pace and doesn't really pick up until the last 15 or 20 minutes. However, rather than reveal any more and risk spoiling the film for those who haven't seen it I will just say that this was a relatively cheap and poorly made Korean War movie which doesn't really offer much in entertainment value. It does, however, have Edward G. Robinson Jr. (as "Corporal Corbet"), Frank Gorshin ("PFC Skids Madigan"), Leslie Parrish ("Lieutenant Alice Brent") and Barbara Luna ("Nikko") for those who might be interested in any of these particular actors. But other than that there honestly isn't much to recommend and I rate this film as below average.

I don't know why I was so generous with my vote, except that anything lower would have had to be a home movie. This "movie" was produced by Viscount Pictures and distributed by those Masters of Movie Magic at AIP. It supposedly takes place during the Korean War, but there is no story to speak of other than some vague plan to launch "Phase Two" of some other vague plan. There are a few names you might recognize, like Frank Gorshin, Barbara Luna, and Leslie Parrish, but it mostly stars a collection of less than stellar performers. The headliner, believe it or not, is Edward G Robinson Jr. I'm sure they included the G to make sure the audience would make the connection. The set consists of a sort of an arc of shacks and tents all connected together by fences or shrubs. Kind of like the backdrop for a high school play. The compound in the center is about the size of a large play room - just big enough for a couple of jeeps. If you added up all the principal players and the extras, you couldn't put together a game of touch football. There seemed to be no reason to make this movie. As far as I could tell, it was mostly a lot of snappy dialog interspersed with stock combat footage. They did find time to create a little romance with a couple of handy nurses and Korean comfort woman. They even managed to squeeze in a little skinny dipping. Thank goodness we were saved from that wiggle and jiggle with a sneak attack by the North Koreans. There is this unforgettable scene inside the tank. You don't have to be a tanker to know that the inside of a tank is tangle of mechanical stuff. Cables, vents, dials, controls, guns, optical devices, ammo racks, etc. Aside from a view finder and gun stock, this one was practically empty. I swear it had cardboard walls. More than anything else, it reminded me of the cockpit scene in Plan 9 From Outer Space. The only thing missing was the shower curtain. I'd like to say see it for the laughs, but it wasn't funny.

**SPOILERS** Despite its meager budget this little war drama from AIP Studios is not that bad at all. In it a tank crew is sent out to engage the enemy North Koreans in a major push towards the 38th parallel. As the tank and its crew are advancing towards the front line they get bogged down in a commie ambush just when the big offensive, code name Spider, is about to take place. With the tank disabled by a commie grenade the crew headed by Sgt. Bard Dunne, Don Kelly, are sitting ducks as the North Koreans throw everything that they got at them. It's up to Sgt. Dunne to make it back to base and get a piece of equipment to start the tank up for him to be able to save his man before nightfall arrives. That's when the North Koreans plan to make their final assault with artillery small arms as well as flame throwers that would put the tank and its four man crew out of action. The film limps along for almost an hour before the action starts with a number of boring subplots. There's also a North Korean raid on the base in order for them to get their hands on desperately needed arms and ammo from the US Army. It's then that were introduced to the tankers who are to later put their lives on the line in what is said to be, involving about two dozen North Korean troops and one US Army tank, the biggest US counter offensive in the Korean War! Interesting lineup of US servicemen that includes the youngest of the quartet the baby-faced Pfc. Danny Collins played by Robert Paget who's so young looking that he can easily pass for Bonanza's Little Joe's kid brother. There's also E.G Robinson Jr as Cpl. Corbett as the tank driver who has no use for Danny who puts him down for his ultra macho and sexist opinions about the opposite sex. And finally there's the future Batman TV series Joker Frank Gorshin as the wise cracking tank machine gunner Pfc. Skids Madigan who takes time during the first half of the movie to break the ice by doing what seems like an ad-lib James Cagney imitation.The film is saved by a number of great stock footage action scenes as well as the final showdown between the US Army tank and the North Korean troops that more then makes up for most of it boring storyline. Which includes a number of listless love scenes between the tank boys with US Army nurses Norma "Big Red" O'Brian, Regina Gleason, Alice Brent, Lesie Perrish, and that 18 year old Eurasian singing sensation Nikko played by the shapely Barbara Luna.P.S Even though he's barley seen in the film Tetsu Komai makes the most of his screen appearance in a comic relief roll as Nikko's press agent and employer "Egg Charlie".