The Desperados (1969)

Jack Palance is horrible in this film. He gives what I call a "berserk" performance which is so over the top, that it is hard to watch. George Maharis and Christian Roberts are equally as bad in their acting; both sound ridiculous using Southern accents and they also grossly over act their roles as psycho lunatics. However, if you don't take this garbage too seriously, it does provide some late, rainy night, entertainment.

There's only one reason to catch this Western, and that's to see just how far over the top Jack Palance can take it. There are times though when even he gets to be too embarrassing, as in a scene late in the picture when he does a drunken jag while holding his grandson hostage. He's just totally crazed and manic at that point, which makes me wonder now whether he was really on a drunken jag while filming. I guess we'll never know, but man, he was really out there.If one has any sense of America's Civil War history, you'll probably recognize elements of the Quantrill Raider legacy in this story of Josiah Gant (Palance), leader of a vicious band of rebels even the Confederacy doesn't care to acknowledge. The opening scene is reminiscent of the Quantrill raid on Lawrence, Kansas in 1863, but in this case the location is given as St. Thomas, Kansas, and the marauding gang is nowhere near the size of Quantrill's bunch. When it occurs, Galt's oldest son Davey (Vince Edwards) has an epiphany of sorts; he begins to realize just how vile and dangerous his family is. The father's murderous nature extends to David's brothers Jacob (George Maharis) and Adam (Christian Roberts).A quick flashback scene of Davey's dying mother telegraphs the finale, but even though her vision of the future calls for the family members to destroy each other, one wouldn't expect the ending to be as final as it was for all concerned. However it did leave a question mark over the fate of Jacob, a quick cutaway of the fight between him and Davey aboard a train left his fate inconclusive. But if you go with the premise, all the Galt's were goners.Keep an eye on the scene when Jacob and Adam are in jail fully expecting Davey to bust them out. When Davey skips out, the bars of the jail cell actually move when Jacob shakes them. They probably could have walked out any time they wanted.There must be something about the word 'desperado' to assign the kiss of death to movie Westerns. A 1943 film titled 'The Desperadoes" (with an 'e') starring Randolph Scott and Glenn Ford also comes up short in the way of telling a story. But that was twenty five years earlier than this one, so you can cut it some slack for the writing. Not only that, but it's a little shocking to see Neville Brand in this film as a federal marshal - I've never seen him so fat!

The Desperados is obviously an attempt to up the ante in the violence stakes to rival that of the spaghetti western genre. It was filmed in 1968 in Spain with an American and British cast and an American director. However, the hysterical approach to the material proves counter-productive and the film is appallingly directed and choreographed with actors falling over for no obvious reason or otherwise standing still and waiting for things to happen to them.An example of director Levin's ineptitude is when Palance and his gang raid a Texas town in order to rob the bank. After shooting up the place a while, some of the gang members dismount and enter the bank to rob it. Inside the bank, people are still at tills being served by cashiers as if nothing is happening! The same thing happens in the opening massacre when the Union soldiers are still emerging from their tents (to be easily shot) several minutes after wholesale gunfire has been raging nearby.Matters are not helped by the fact that all prints are heavily censored. The opening massacre (based on Quantrill's massacre of Lawrence, Kansas) suffers from several obvious censor cuts - for example, as Palance is about to shoot a group of men lined up against a building there is an abrupt cutaway and we hear only a single shot dubbed over the face of Vince Edwards - and is extremely choppy as a result. A scene towards the end between Palance and Kate O'Mara is also heavily cut.In the face of this ineptitude, some ripe overacting by Palance and the actor who plays his youngest son is the only thing left to enjoy.

Some movies are much more than the sum of their parts. This is not one of them. Despite some well-known actors and actresses in the cast, this movie is a total flop and richly merits the "Screaming Turkey" award. This fiasco makes "Plan 9 From Outer Space" look like fine art in comparison.When these Civil War guerrillas (a very vapid version of Quantrill's Raiders is depicted) pull out Colt Peacemakers in the start of the film (a firearm that hadn't even been invented yet), I knew I was in for a real treat as far as authenticity was concerned.Don't waste your time watching this silly waste of money, film, and talent.