Sorority Party Massacre (2012)

With a name such as "Sorority Party Massacre" then you know that you will either be in for a very cheesy and campy slasher movie, or you will be in for a hilarious spoof on the slasher genre. With that in mind I sat down to watch "Sorority Party Massacre".Bad mistake...I managed to sit 45 minutes into the ordeal that is known as "Sorority Party Massacre" before I gave up on finishing the movie and just got up to find something else to watch. The storyline was just unfathomably boring and slow paced, and in those 45 minutes that I endured very little, and I do mean very little, had happened at all. And I totally lost all interest in watching the rest to see what happened.Slasher movies have a tradition of being cheesy and low budget, but this one is the crowning on the cake. "Sorority Party Massacre" turned out to be a very, very boring movie.The characters in the movie were characters that you hardly cared for, and you didn't really care if they lived or died. As in contrast to movies such as "Friday the 13th", where it is not just a matter of if they will die, it is a matter of how they will die. Such was not the case with the cardboard cut-out characters on parade in "Sorority Party Massacre".I had hoped that seeing Richard Moll in a movie such as this might actually have helped the movie along, even if just a cameo. But I frankly don't recall seeing him here or remembering him here.This is a movie that I have no intentions of returning to finish at a later point in time, because the movie just never appealed or spoke to me in any way.

In the intro some college girl has car troubles and stops at some desolate station. It's night of course and she's by herself with her dog. At some point she gets calls from a creepy voice asking her what she's afraid of and what's the scariest way to die for her. We learn that her father is a cop. But with a disabled car and little phone reception all she can do is run. The creep follows her and sprays acid on her body and face.After this longer-than-necessary into follows some of the longest intro credits I've seen. Finally the next scene begins. Some violent detective is reprimanded by his boss, who is the intro girl's father. He puts the detective on leave, but he offers to looks for the daughter who hasn't checked in for a day so the dad is worried. He agrees and sends detective Watts to investigate.When he arrives he meets the dumb and clueless local sheriff. The girl was on her way to a sorority competition where girls get a chance to win a grant. None of other girls have seen the girl. Watts discovers that she's not the first girl to disappear but over the decades dozens of girls have. The sheriff had no idea.Now as they start investigating, power is cutout wherever they go, phonelines are dead everywhere, and the girls start dying according to their greatest fear, which is something they had to reveal when interviewed by the woman in charge of the grant and owner of the place the girls are visiting. There are a lot of suspects here. Eventually we learn who is behind the killings and why.Sorority Party Massacre is the kind of movie you want to like. It has a strong but long intro, a good cast with Downey, O'Ross, Mauro, Sorbo, Mandylor. It has a bunch of girls. It has the resources and a rich story. What it doesn't have is a sorority party and not much of a massacre. For a B-movie, acting is very good all around. Quickly though you notice the main problem, which is a rather odd one. The story is told from the perspective of the cop, not from the perspective of the victims, one of the girls. It's a strange choice, which I guess could have worked, but here it just doesn't. Downey is a good actor and a good lead. Still, you keep waiting for the perspective to shift toward the girls. It never does. As a result, for most of the movie you don't care for the girls or their fate as their characters are never really established and also get little screen time. For a "...Massacre" titled movie, there is not enough violence or gore. And almost no nudity. The lovely Eve Mauro gets to play a nasty violent chick unfortunately.Another problem is that instead of going for straight horror they went for goofy comedy, which at no point was particularly funny. Some of it is slapstick and adolescent. The story at least proved to be more involved than expected. I'd even say they ended up trying to do more than they should have. There isn't jut one, but several twists increasing the unlikelyhood of it all.Sorority Party Massacre is unfortunately a wasted opportunity. The name of this movie shouldn't be taken seriously.

A vicious killer preys on a bunch of catty and competitive college sorority pledges in an isolated small town. It's up to the short-tempered Detective Watts (a sturdy and engaging performance by Thomas Downey) to catch the maniac. Directors Chris W. Freeman and Justin Jones keep the familiar, but entertaining story moving along at a snappy pace, pull out the sadistic stops with the bloody'n'brutal murder set pieces, employ a flashy and kinetic style which gives the picture an extra galvanizing kick, and further spice things up with a wickedly amusing sense of sly self-mocking humor. Moreover, it's acted with zest by an enthusiastic cast: Ed O'Ross contributes a hilarious turn as bumbling redneck Sheriff Lumpkin, Amanda Burton projects an utterly delightful spunky aplomb as the eager Deputy Lang, and Leslie Easterbrook positively breathes fire as the stern and haughty Stella. In addition, the actresses who portray the college gals are quite sexy and energetic: Marissa Skell as the sweet, yet tough Paige, Eve Mauro as the snippy and ruthless Brooklyn, Yvette Yates as the fierce Sloan, Rebecca Grant as the vampy Veronica, Adrian Kirk as the perky Jessie Lynn, and Alison Mei Lan as the ditsy Kieko. Popping up in cool bits are Ron Jeremy as the obnoxious Det. Rico Depinto and Richard Moll as grizzled sea salt Kreager. Freeman's clever script delivers a few dandy surprise twists. Steven Parker's sharp cinematography provides a pleasing glossy look. Michael Quinlan's unexpectedly diverse score supplies the mandatory shuddery sonic punch in a subtle and effective way. A nifty slice'n'dice item.

Sexy college girls endure gore galore when a psychotic killer with a taste for sorority sister torture arrives. But when this party gets started, will they receive an advanced degree in extreme horror? Staci Layne Wilson of Dread Central pins this as "an incompetent, messy mish-mash of Scream, Student Bodies and 'Reno 9-1-1.'" Well, that about sums it up. Thanks, Staci! While there are some decent scenes, and a few actors who deserve a bit of credit (and many who do not), this just amounts to a lot of nothing. I mean, even for a film called "Sorority Party Party", it is pretty disappointing. Next, the same writer-director is bringing us "Bachelorette Party Massacre", which I am sure will be more of he same tripe.