Nightmare at Noon (1988)

Watching "Nightmare at Noon" turned out to be yet another personal milestone in my career as a purchaser of cinematic nonsense… This unmistakably is, hands down, the movie that makes the absolute LEAST efforts to explain all the random weirdness and palaver it brings forward throughout nearly its entire running time. Everything, even the utmost absurd story aspect, is so incredibly goalless and literally nothing appears to upset the tough and hardened lead characters. Even when the little town of Canyonland is overcome with terror, and all the usually peaceful locals turn into bloodthirsty zombies, Sheriff Hanks (George Kennedy) and accidental tourists Ken Griffiths (Wings Hauser) & Reilly (Bo Hopkins) remain stoically calm and extendedly take the time to think up theories that are – in spite of the odds – accurate to the smallest details! "Nightmare at Noon" is an unimaginably dumb film with a totally incoherent script but, as a matter of compensation for that, it features a large amount of gratuitous explosions and turbulent Western-styled shootouts in the desert! Creepy albino scientist Brion James, mute and all dressed in white to fit the color of his skin, arrives with a small army of soldiers at the borders of the desolate small town of Canyonland and initiates his diabolical experiment. The water becomes intoxicated, all entries in and out of town are shut off and the infected villagers gradually begin to exterminate each other. Why and/or how exactly is a complete mystery – at least to me it was – but the heroic crime fighters in charge spontaneously guess it must be the work of some evil psychopath experimenting up in the hills. Wow, with such guessing talents they should really enroll in the fortune telling business! The first hour of "Nightmare at Noon" guarantees good brainless and unscrupulous B-movie entertainment. The old-fashioned remote Western town setting is nostalgic and the testosterone-laden interactions between the male leads are splendid highlights, for sure. Wings Hauser, Bo Hopkins and George Kennedy were all at the top of their cheesy B-movie careers here and that truly results in a couple of marvelous dialogs. After that, however, writer/director Niko Mastorakis seemingly lost complete interest to finish what he started. The last half hour is a long and dull series of desert chases and there even is an utterly pointless showdown between two helicopters that goes on for more than five whole minutes. Admittedly the cinematography and shots of desolate landscapes are professionally handled, but the whole thing is just plain purposeless. With a slightly more elaborated script and intelligent dialogs, this surely could have been an undiscovered 80's sleeper hit, but now it's just another oddball cheese-flick with nicely polished action sequences that are in vain. The two beautiful and incredibly sexy Kimberly's in the cast (Beck and Ross) are underused and aren't even offered the chance to show off their impressive bosoms. Shame.

This is another one of those 'townspeople infected by toxins' films along the lines of The Crazies, Nightmare City and Mutant. Especially Mutant, as if this film also has Wings Hauser and Bo Hopkins in it.Bo, once again, is playing a cop, and Wings, as you can probably imagine, is playing a moron. Both of them end up in an isolated town which has, very covertly, had its water supply contaminated as some kind of government experiment by an albino Brion James and his cohorts. Anybody that drinks that water goes berserk and starts attacking everybody else. Much hilarity ensues.Bo and Wings, and George Kennedy, and probably some other folks I've forgotten about, find themselves up against an ever growing army of crazy folks running around beating each other up or shooting each other. Wings' wife also gets infected, leading to a scene which calls for the great man to 'emote'. I was rolling around on the floor laughing.This is pure B-movie hokum, but an extremely enjoyable one for all that. I think this may be down to the director being the same guy who made the infamous Island of Death, probably one of the most offensive (and funny) films I've ever watched. He might be making trash, but he's a technically competent director.Highly recommended for folks who love a good b-movie. It slides a bit at the end when it suddenly turns into a western, but it's a fun journey all the same.Look out for the motorcycle explosion scene - so over the top I didn't stop laughing for about ten minutes.

Cult film fans should get a major kick out of this Nico Mastorakis sci-fi/action vehicle featuring a breakneck pace, green slime shootings, huge explosions, jaw dropping stunts and a truly wild helicopter chase. If that doesn't sell you, then I present a cast featuring Bo Hopkins, Wings Hauser, George Kennedy and Brion James. I repeat, Bo Hopkins, Wings Hauser, George Kennedy and Brion James! Truly one of the best B-movie ensembles I have ever seen, every actor plays it a different way, getting fantastic results. Re-teaming after 1984's similar Mutant, Hauser and Hopkins are both great in the lead roles. Hauser expertly plays the hyped up, slick rock-n-roll lawyer ("Hey, I handle Twisted Sister. I think I can handle this.") thrown into this nightmare while on vacation. Hopkins, on the other hand, plays it cool with nearly every situation in the film. When a local farmer stabs a waitress' hand, Hauser gets right in his face while Hopkins keeps swigging on his beer. Brion James is also impressive, giving an entirely speechless performance as the mysterious "Albino." Supporting players Kennedy and Kimberly (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter) Beck hold their own as well.Director Mastorakis keeps things moving at a great pace. So much so that viewers might initially overlook huge plots holes (such as how did Beck get cured or how did Kennedy hold out so long from the effects of the tainted water). But one thing that is great about the film is one is never told why James' character is doing this. The synopsis alludes to his crew being government agents (their vans read A.P.E. - Agency for Protecting the Environment), but in the end they are blown up by the US Army so who knows. Intentional or not, this missing bit of information makes it all the more fun. Credit should also be given to the films stunt co-coordinator (John Stewart) and aerial unit coordinator (David Jones). The car stunts and explosions are top notch, but the helicopter chase is jaw dropping in its recklessness.With such a great meeting of B-movie vets, it is suffice to say their paths have crossed before. Hauser and Hopkins both worked on the aforementioned Mutant as well as the TV films Ghost Dancing (1983) and Dark Horse (1985). Hauser and Brion James appeared in a unconnected trilogy of sci-fi films including this, Dead Man Walking (1988) and Street Asylum (1990). Hopkins and James appeared alongside each other in Radioland Murders (1994) while James and George Kennedy both appeared in the National Lampoon feature Men in White (1998). And both Hauser and Kennedy had roles on "The Young and the Restless," but never together in the same season. Whew!

On the surface, a very bad action adventure film. But, if not taken too seriously, it's a lot of fun. When a mad scientist poisons the water supply of a small Utah town, it's up to a drifter, a celebrity lawyer and two local cops to bring order to a town where the the citizens are now possessed by rage and violence. The last half hour reveals the film for what it truly is: a modern day western, as the good guys mount up to trail the bad guys for a showdown. Filmed with style on a small budget, featuring a score by Hans Zimmer of all people, the story only fails in the last ten minutes where the director just seemed to run out of story. Too bad, the open ended finale didn't lead to a sequel. Well worth your time.