Bad Man's River (1974)

American Lee Van Cleef and Englishman James Mason join Gina Lollobrigida and a number of unfamiliar European players for this spaghetti western about the Mexican Revolution of the teen years. For James Mason this marked his first appearance in a horse opera albeit not a genuine American one.For the most part I'm a firm believer that the only real westerns are done in the western hemisphere and Bad Man's River won't convince any of you I'm wrong. It's a comic western, but western icon Lee Van Cleef just does not have a comic bone in his body. As for Gina Lollobrigida she pairs off far better with Rock Hudson and I'm sure she wished she was making another comedy with him. Mason is a revolutionary and Gina his wife. She's also the former wife of outlaw Lee Van Cleef and they find it might be to their mutual advantage to pull off a caper. Easier said than done however and Gina has quite the surprise in the end.According to the Citadel Film series book on the films of James Mason he didn't think much of Bad Man's River and I agree.

With all the draws in the film - Lee Van Cleef, James Mason, Gina Lollabrigida - you would think there would be some redeeming quality to all the flowing marinara in this one. But sadly that's not the case. I had a bit of a struggle to make sense of the action, and about as difficult a time in keeping the minor characters straight. The best lines of the film have to do with my summary above, and another by Van Cleef describing his fascination with the banking business - he enjoyed transferring funds from one place to another. Sadly, that wasn't enough to carry the picture. I enjoy my share of spaghetti like the next Western fan, but this one was weak and and shy on the Parmesan. Recommended only for the die hard.

This eccentric Euro-Western has more in common with the revisionist, light-hearted approach of BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969) than with any of the sadistic Italian fare shot around the same time and on the same locations. A great, eclectic cast (Lee Van Cleef, James Mason, Gina Lollobrigida, Sergio Fantoni, Jess Hahn, Simon Andreu, Eduardo Fajardo, Gianni Garko, Diana Lorys) finds itself somewhat stranded - and in the case of Mason, evidently embarrassed - in the face of the film's bizarre changes of mood, some of which work (there are a few enjoyably comical action sequences) and some of which don't (why the director chose to overdose on the "freeze-frame" stuff at the beginning is anyone's guess); in light of all this, the involvement of talented Hollywood veterans Philip Yordan, Irving Lerner and Bernard Gordon is even more baffling. All in all, however, BAD MAN'S RIVER emerges as a surprisingly pleasant, if ultimately forgettable, diversion.

Heaven knows how a talent like Philip Yordan came to such a sorry pass as writing this mess. Heaven knows how badly James Mason must have needed money for him to take part. Lee Van Cleef, one of my great movie heroes, made some really awful films here and there, but this one takes the cake. The pop-rock/barbershop-quartet score, completely inappropriate to the time and place, is the first clue that the viewer is in for a melange of malarkey. Everyone is dubbed, of course--it's a spaghetti Western. But at least Van Cleef and Mason dub themselves. However, Mason, who despite being second-billed doesn't show up until 2/3 of the way through, makes the most embarrassing attempt at a southern American accent I can recall ever hearing. Gina Lollobrigida exposes her talent in her special way, and the rest of the parts are played in the broadest fashion by a cast of overacting hambones. The plot is virtually unintelligible, though it does involve a river for a moment or two (the good guys hope their engine-less riverboat can drift from Matamoros to Laredo before the bad guys catch up to them--despite the fact that Laredo is UPSTREAM from Matamoros.) It's obvious that much of what goes on here is intended as comedy, except, one presumes, for scenes of people being shot and burned to death. Let's just say that none of the stars ever made a worse movie and then just pretend this farago never happened.