Knights (1993)

Although she's working alongside some fairly big name stars, here, it's Kathy Long who steals the show in KNIGHTS. Albert Pyun's direction is, as usual, one part low-budget exploitation and one part Art House (it's an interesting combination, and a blend Pyun has fairly patented) and he has the good sense to showcase what made Kathy Long famous- her outstanding full contact martial arts experience. The highlight of the movie, without a shadow of a doubt, is the sequence where she singlehandedly wades through a veritable army of evildoers. Had I been unfamiliar with her professional fighting career, I might've mistook this extended sequence for some lesser filmmaker's perverse wish-fulfillment. It's not: having seen her fight, I can attest to the fact that Kathy Long COULD wade through a veritable army of evildoers. (And, like ravishing Rhonda Rousey, she's a looker...) (Either one of them could kick MY a** any time...)

In the ravaged wasteland of the future, mankind is terrorized by Cyborgs—robots with human features—that have discovered a new source of fuel: human blood. Commanded by their vicious leader Jōb (Lance Henriksen), the Cyborgs prepare to overtake Taos, a densely populated human outpost.Only one force can stop Jōb's death march—the Cyborg Gabriel (Kris Kristofferson), who is programmed to destroy Jōb and his army.In the ruins of a ransacked village, Gabriel finds Nea (Kathy Long), a beautiful young woman whose parents were killed by Cyborgs ten years earlier. Now she wants revenge. They strike a pact: Gabriel will train Nea how to fight the Cyborgs and Nea will lead Gabriel to Taos.Five-time kick-boxing champion Kathy Long has all the right moves in this high-speed adventure that delivers plenty of action. Also stars Gary Daniels (as David) and Scott Paulin (as Simon).

It's not just cheese. It's the best of cheese. The mixed fighting really is virtually unmatched even from a big budget film. Well, OK Jackie Chan can top it. It's fun but not actually that fake for the most part, she's really doing a tough girl act to intimidate the entire crowd so they don't all take her on at once. Also most clashes are done with in a couple of exchanges as opposed to typical never-ending sword-on-sword fight scenes.The pre-fighting dialog is bold, clever, witty, over-the-top banter. Of course I loved it, it's outstanding! I'll take this over the rather stock dialog in most action movies any day."Oh what- am I on FIRE now? GREAT!!!"First off just fast forward past the first 5 or 10 min where all the Cyborgs are meditating around a cyberhookah thing and Nea's talking to a crazy woman. The only thing you need to know is her little brother has a crescent birthmark on his wrist. Start where Nea's village gets raided, only a couple of min before Gabriel shows up.Sadly the movie kinda ran out of budget before ending. They allude to some sort of sequel, certainly no budget to make Cyber City this time around, then they didn't even know what moment to end it with and narrated in Nea giving some rambling epilogue. Bummer. You just want the fun-filled center of this film twinkie.

Every once in a while I will rent an action/adventure film just as a way to relax and occupy my mind with nothing important. This is why I own a copy of Charlie's Angels (2000) - not a quality film, but it makes me laugh and allows me to unwind for a while. One of these days I will probably buy copies of The Princess Bride and a few Monty Python movies for much the same reason.In any case, I rented this film because I wanted to be entertained without being challenged. For the most part, I got what I wanted. The plot was something along the lines of a poorly written Xena episode, and the Kathy Long's acting was very community theater (not bad for a professional kick boxer and amateur actress). There were a few high points on the part of the cyborgs. Somehow they managed to get some pretty good actors to play the bad guys - unfortunately, most of them die pretty darned quick.Like most martial arts films, the further you get into the movie, the more emphasis there is on action, and the plot (which wasn't strong to begin with) deteriorates almost as quickly as the acting. However, the more Kathy Long fights, the more time the director devotes to her backside. By the end of the movie I was seriously considering watching it a second time just to count the number of times Kathy Long's tight red shorts were center screen.Unfortunately, there just wasn't enough meat to this film to make satisfying curiosity worth seeing the film a second time. If you are a hard core Xena fan in need of something to wile away a few hours - by all means, go to the grocery store and spend the .50 cents on the rental. There are some strong similarities between the show and this movie.Just don't expect anything more than to be mildly amused for a few hours.Unless, of course, you happen to like Kathy Long's derrière. THEN you might want to purchase a copy.