Full English Breakfast (2014)

Another disaster movie from the master of fantasy Dave Courtney. He was declared bankrupt in 2009 and with funding vanity projects like this it does not surprise me. or perhaps he is more clever than is given credit. he makes this film with a budget of £8.50 and tells the tax man that all the profits from his literary works of fiction are put into the film, when really they are hidden away in a shipping container with a Poundland padlock securing it, like Dave Bishop does in the film. this rubbish has a terrible narrative, wooden acting, unconvincing violence,no continuity (check out Bongs on Big Ben) and dubbed by 1970's spaghetti western sound men. If not made to intentionally loose money i believe this film was made to allow Courtney to carry on his fantasy life as nobody believes him in the real world anymore. Give it up Dave this is a crime against the art of film making.

In the annals of cinema failure, ladies and gentlemen I present to you the most accomplished of them all. In virtually every aspect this mammoth farce of a film shocks the viewer to the core. At no point are any of the actors, and I use the term 'actors' loosely here, believable or appear interested in being in the film. The camera work is deranged, the dialogue as cheesier than a cheesy wotsit and the plot as about as interesting as cutting your garden lawn with nail clippers. A cringe fest that makes nay sense. Those that have given this garbage full marks are either related to, or friends of the film makers and the cast or simply chavs that expect the very basics when it comes to movie entertainment and would Cool As Ice a milestone in film making. I hope the 'dodgy one' stops thinking he's a top OG and begin to act, yes act, his age and station in life. However, as others have mentioned, a big shout out to Pete who stole the show with his gnashers.

I was warned beforehand about how bad this movie was, I really wished I'd listened, 2hrs of my life I will never get back!! the entire budget of this movie must have been about £5, worst acting I have ever seen, really cheap effects and make up....as for the soundtrack? I could have done better by recording the top 40 about 30yrs ago. The story has huge gaps in and really doesn't have any real continuity, cheap wardrobe and it looks like the main character is wearing safety boots for the most part to go with his cheap suit. At the beginning of the movie the main character is described as smelly and scruffy, but he is best dressed tramp I've ever seen for someone who has been sleeping rough he has perfectly pressed trousers and t-shirt. Do yourself a favour and give this one a miss. Seriously, don't bother!!

I can not understand what made me sit through this rubbish? It was appalling, the worst of the worst. An English, Spaghetti Western, mixed with a Chinese martial arts film! I feel devastated that I wasted nearly two hours of my life watching it. It did look like a creative tech class at school that knocked up the screen play for a level 1 BTEC (sorry kids, you would have made a better job) This film rating could easily have been given minus figures. Please, please do not ever make another film, I am just glad I never paid to watch it, or even god forbid. to have bought it!Stick to being a doorman!