Secret Agent Super Dragon (1966)

Well it is not. Anything but, as this is another in a long line of Bond knock offs where they get a smug spy and think that is enough. Saw this one on Mystery Science Theater 3000 as they did a number of these James Bond Wannabe films during their run on the air. The agent in his one at least goes to Holland whereas the agent in Agent From H.A.R.M virtually stayed at the same beach house for most of his flick, but he did more in the way of action than Secret Agent Super Dragon did! A few clunky fight scenes and a tepid shoot out or two is all we get. Both pale in comparison to that film where they got Sean Connery's brother to play the agent as that film went to multiple locations and had better action which is sad, because in that film he was not even a true agent, but a plastic surgeon! Then there was the agent from Danger, Death Ray and that too had more action, but used ridiculous miniatures which looked pretty much like a kid's toys! This one did manage a couple of humorous scenes and the setting of Holland was different, they just needed their super agent to do a bit more than rummage through hotel rooms and such. The story has people in a small town in America going berserk and no one knows why. So in comes, Secret Agent Super Dragon...though he is not really all that motivated to take the case. Seems he is retired, but the death of a fellow agent sends him on the trail. He partners up with a guy who is apparently some sort of mob boss and they soon make their way to Holland after discovering that the means of distributing a drug that causes bizarre behavior is hidden in chewing gum. Soon Dragon makes his way to a posh party after a few run ins with some thugs and learns the terrible secret the villain of the piece has in store for the world! This made for a funny episode of MST3K, as did all the spy films they riffed on. None of them were too terribly horrible, but they all had flaws that stopped them from being anything that was remotely a good film. The Holland setting made for some good jokes as did the fact that the agent of the piece really did not do all that much in the way of action. They were also dead on when they would say that the villain of the piece did not make much of an impression at all. I did love the joke where the villain takes the poison and they riffed Secret Agent Super Dragon kind of smugly getting the last word in right before he died. So, this one had some good in it despite not being all that great. The Holland setting was interesting, a few good jokes here and there and at least it wrapped up nicely. They just needed to have a few more action pieces in this one, they did not have a single chase scene in the film that I could tell. What spy film does not have a super cool chase sequence? Even the Agent From H.A.R.M managed to get on a motorcycle and try to stop a plane and the guy in Danger, Death Ray had a chase, albeit slow and involving toy cars. The fights they did manage here looked poorly choreographed too, not anything that really gets the excitement up, and just what was the deal with Super Dragon rolling the guy up in the carpet? Seriously, he couldn't find a better way to hide the unconscious body than that?

Let's face it, the James Bond franchise has been a cash cow for decades and decades, so it's only natural that people who would never get past Albert Broccoli's receptionist would want to make their own version of the character and get in on some of the money, er, fun. The results can be wildly variable. Movies like "Our Man Flint" is at the top of the pile, and stuff like Dean Martin's versions of the "Matt Helm" novels are near the very bottom. Films like "Agent For H.A.R.M." are at the absolute nadir, movies that make you want to punish Ian Fleming for ever starting the modern version of the escapist spy thriller in the first place. Judged this way, the version of "Secret Agent Super Dragon" I saw, with English dubbing and razzed in the foreground by the Mystery Science 3000 crew, falls somewhere in the middle.(Unlike some purists, I believe that you can judge a film fairly if you see the MST3K version. I always find them amusing, but I can still give a film a fair chance in spite of the heckling from the robots). The best thing SASD has going for it is the lead actor, who is so incredibly suave and Continental that you can almost overlook his preening smugness. Almost. In order to make the character more exotic and interesting, the screenwriters fall all over themselves to give him unusual talents, especially "yogic control" over his breath and metabolism. Of course, that's one of the ways you can tell a second rate, wanna-be spy screenplay - Bond (especially the Connery Bond) didn't have or need no stinking exotic talents. He was just ultimately cool, tough, and ruthless. Still "Cooper" is pretty good, if somewhat bland, and he can almost carry the movie. What sinks it, in the end, is the awkward English dubbing (I'm sure the dialog sounded less contrived in its original language) and the unconvincing plot, along with less-than thrilling action sequences and florid, uninvolving costumes and locations. (Except for the windmills...those were kind of cool.)I'd watch any of the Bond films (even the lamer Roger Moore ones) a dozen times before I'd watch "SASD" again. Still, as a standalone spy film, this is nice, if tame, fun. OTOH, if you're going to compete with the Bond franchise, you'd better bring something really good to the party (like James Coburn) or you are a bound to look pretty lame in comparison. Trying to compete with Broccoli's brand without having the firepower to back their play costs them at least two stars. So: 4 out of 10.

All straight criminals beware when Bryan Cooper, alias Super Dragon, comes out of his early retirement to battle evil once again. Our bland villain has killed off one of Bryan's mates and now plans to spread a chemical in people's drinks that will turn them into senseless maniacs (as if ordinary booze isn't good enough at that)!Ray Danton's pathetic job at playing our smug, unlikeable hero is amazing, right up there with Peter Mark Richman in Agent for H.A.R.M. How should I describe Mr. Danton? Think George Clooney, then remove what little personality he has and erase From Dusk till Dawn from his merits list. That's how bad Ray Danton is.This movie is a typically bland, dragging Bond rip off which is so unbelievably dull, not even some hot 60's girls help much. I counted two action scenes in the entire movie and the soundtrack was so bad it made the jazz Muzak from 'Manos' seem like Mozart. You will want to miss this one - the only entertaining part of SASD is its hilarious title.(r#9)

It's hard to think of a more goofy film with a more goofy premise than "Secret Agent Super Dragon". Apparently, a terrorist mastermind and his henchman have been lacing bubblegum with a substance that makes you act stupid. Evil isn't it? Of course the only one who can save the world is Secret Agent Super Dragon: a greasy, deep-throated "tall guy" that should have been called Secret Agent Super Sportjacket. While dispatching villains in absolutely ridiculous methods (karate chops), he manages to bed plenty of women with fake eyebrows and fake hair color. The dubbing is atrocious along with just about everything else in this movie. The highlight is a sequence in which the Super Dragon is sunk in a wooden coffin and is suddenly saved by inflatable rubber bags - which should have kept him from sinking in the first place! Also, the sets in Holland are hilarious looking; imagine walking through the garden section of a local Walmart. Be sure to watch the MST3K version of this pathetic mess.