Geisha Assassin (2008)

Geisha vs Ninja strongly reminded me of the Italian spaghetti-western. The movie is a fairy tale, so of course it is unrealistic. So are Leone's movies. There are two simple but very human themes: the quest for revenge and the quest for truth. The conflict between those two is not really developed, so no 10/10 from me, but it's there. The leading lady is highly attractive, the cinematography is beautiful, the landscapes are gorgeous and play an essential role. The use of extreme close-ups and flash-backs are also a la Leone. What is missing is sick humour. There is a brilliant joke during the first fighting scene but that is by far not enough. That is another reason to subtract some points. Still G vs N never becomes boring. Excellently choreographed fighting scenes are varied with quieter contemplative scenes. All in all highly enjoyable. Of course G vs N gets slammed for exactly the same reasons Leone was condemned some 45 years ago. Those critics forget indeed that contemporary action movies from the USA (Terminator, The Rock etc. etc.) are not realistic either. So what? At least G vs N does not pretend to be.

The film has been decried by some viewers because the feats of strength attributed to a mere girl are impossible, particularly after she has been injured. That would put down thousands of action films in which the main character is a man, too. The film is declared a fake, because the script has the heroine fighting a number of opponents in succession - count them: 2 Ronin, 4 Ninjas, 1 Monk, 1 Assassin, 1 Priest, 4 Demons, 1 Samurai, 1 Young Ronin = 15. The same happens in most action films, and if it does not, then it's because they do not have enough money to pay as many expendable characters; in the best action movies the hero or heroine is supposed to kill hundreds or even thousands of opponents, and survive with less physical damage than our Geisha here, and they are usually acclaimed just for that. The ninja style bout is a bore, with fake action like jumping to the sky, sliding ten meters over an uneven ground, and so on. True, but that would be inescapable due to the fact the film is an Eastern, and with Ninja in the title. According to the film genre, such scenes are mandatory, though lacking credibility in a rational analysis. The same happens with American or European Westerns in which the colts fire dozens of deadly bullets without being re-charged... and most get good reviews. The Geisha fights a Monk who is larger and stronger, and she defeated him by her strength, which is another fake. This blame is not true. The Geisha shows stamina equal to the taller, stronger enemy, and defeats him with a clever and unexpected wrestling hold, a figure-four headlock applied with her thighs – the most powerful limbs in an athletic woman wrestler – and takes his breath, and almost breaks his neck with it. Then, as he his still unable to defend himself, she finishes him with a karate punch to the Adam's apple. (I find this quite believable. Kids of all ages: please do not try this blow at home!) The film is a chanbara, and one should appreciate the music of the tinkling blades together, and the contrast they establish with the opening soft music in a temple where the grown-up Geisha is dancing - a choreography that she had perfecting as a child, even against the will of her beloved father...Are Western reviewers so much into computers that they became incapable of understanding a story told as a fairytale about a girl's quest for her father's killer, and her family's sword? I'm not so much in love with this film to the point of rating it 10, but I understand the people who did that. Very nice cinematography and eventually a better film than what we're seeing editing down to 78m32s and without a good translation. I saw it in a language I do not speak, and even so I liked it, and got the main points of the story. That speaks high of Go Ohara, the director and screenplay writer.

The plot is simple enough. But being an avid fan of ninjas and samurai, I noticed too many mistakes in there.1. a female geisha would not remove her clogs to fight because there may be spikes on the ground.2. ninjas are not known to use katana because they are too long and become less effective in enclosed space. They usually carry a straight shorter blade call a ninjato.3. the bamboo blade the geisha was carrying isn't usually as thick or long as a katana. They are mostly used as a concealed weapon, thus length and width are limited.4. why did the female ninja keep pulling her mask off and putting it back on during the fight? The purpose of the mask is to minimize the exposed area that a light can shine on during an ambush or night op.The fighting is stylized and anime-like. It feels a bit weird at times, especially when the geisha was fighting with the monk.Oh... and the actress did not walk like a geisha. Totally unconvincing.

I ask you? Why would a Geisha fight Ninjas? Let me tell you, I watched it without subs!! Can you believe it, WITHOUT SUBTITLES!!! I give it 10 out of 10. This movie is a mix of Japanese warriors where they meet and fight. Lets start with the action. Go Ohara is the action director who directed the action in Death Trance and Onechanbara The Movie. The action is like a Japanese wire-fu. There are a lot of flying ninjas throwing smoke bombs, a tough monk, a Japanese barbarian and another monk which he used some magics to contact demons!! Wow, what a show. Japanse B-Movies are entertaining and funny. There are a lot sword fights, punching, kicking, smashing and smack down. The story is simple, is about geisha who seeks revenge of her fathers death. By killing the killer. I didn't understood what he mean't that why he killed her father. But in the movie, I saw the father who began the fight. The acting, well... A bit.....okay, good. The direction is simple. The setting is nice and beautiful. Especially in the begininning of the movie where the Geisha walks at night in Edo. Very nice. The overall is positive. You will expect soo many things. Have I ever felt the movie is dull? No. Thats all I can say and the ending. Well, I don't want to spoil the ending but you might get a surprise. But not a big one.