Swamp Women (1956)

Roger Corman quickie, seemingly made specifically for the drive-in crowd, shot in Louisiana Bayou swamp country features statuesque Carole Mathews as Lt. Lee Hampton, undercover in a prison, hoping to secure hidden diamonds buried by con Marie Windsor's Josie Nardo. Josie's prison gang includes Vera (the sexy Beverly Garland as you've never seen her before, full of pent up rage and seething bitterness) and the sensual Marie (Susan Cummings). So Josie and her girls successfully escape prison forming a reluctant partnership with Hampton because she has a getaway car stashed nearby. The four confiscate a boat from someone who owes Josie a favor (this event is never shown) and ride into the swamp on a journey to locate the diamonds worth practically half a million dollars. Oil man Bob Matthews (Mike Connors; Mannix) and a potential fiancé (with a wealthy daddy)are also boat riding through the bayou as he is looking for land to rape (okay, maybe I'm a bit harsh), having the misfortune of coming across Josie and company when their flimsy boat takes water after a leak leaves them stranded. Taking Bob and his whimpering lady hostage, Josie and her gang decide to take them along until they find the diamonds. Corman's predecessor to the (in)famous WIP exploitation pictures Jack Hill and others would bring to life a decade later, is a hoot if you love watching tough-talking ladies who use their fists to pummel each other when the anger sets up in their bones. Seeing the girls ogle the very handsome Connors, particularly Cummings, is also a treat. But nothing compares to seeing Garland all bent out of shape her entire time on screen, often picking fights with everyone, especially Matthews, when they draw her ire. She's a spitfire, full of heated emotions and venom, and it takes very little to boil over her kettle. Windsor commands her troops, even when things get out of hand and her girls start catfighting, and remains in control until the diamonds begin to take root in the very greedy minds of Cummings and Garland who want the cache all to themselves. Meanwhile, Matthews and Connors fall in love while she tries to keep him alive as long as possible while keeping an eye on the con-women. I just love seeing sexy women, in daisy dukes (they cut their prison pants into short-shorts, obviously titillating for the more reserved 50s drive-in movie audience Corman was catering to), always at each others throats, talking trash and engaging in fisticuffs at the drop of a hat. Sure SWAMP WOMEN has its lulls (there's a hell of a lot of boat riding down the bayou, for sure and extensive footage of Mardi Gras at the beginning of the film) and relies on a ton of stock footage of Louisiana nature to give the film an authenticity, but I think fans of the aforementioned Jack Hill WIP films (and SWITCHBLADE SISTERS) will find it entertaining. And there's a lengthy fight between Matthews and Windsor at the conclusion that should be exciting if you enjoy that sort of thing (of course, I sop this up with a biscuit). You get pulling hair, Mannix fighting an alligator with only a knife, Garland up in a tree waiting to gun down the other girls, Windsor hurling a spear, and the girls taking to rolling around in the dirt when tempers flair--is this movie deserving of its poor reputation? I certainly had fun with it.

Policewoman Carole Mathews goes "undercover" to join Marie Windsor, Beverly Garland, and Jil Jarmyn in prison. The "Gang of Four" escape, and head for the local swamp, to look for some stashed diamonds. Who would hide their booty in a swamp? They take turns touching tied-up hostage Mike Connors. His girlfriend gets eaten by the alligator. Let's not beat around the bush. Stripped to its basics, "Swamp Women" was made for 1950s viewers to watch four naughty young women escape from prison, get drunk, cut off the legs of their pants, and wrestle in the swamp. Directed by Roger Corman. In color.** Swamp Women (1955) Roger Corman ~ Marie Windsor, Carole Mathews, Beverly Garland

This film practically screams "cheap" from start to finish. The dialog is lousy, the acting amateurish and the music pure "cheese". Although the film cost more than PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE to produce, it probably didn't cost much more! The film opens with some Mardi Gras footage and you are introduced to Mike Connors (TV's "Mannix") and his "dame". Then, abruptly, the footage switches to a women's prison were some more tough dames are discussing some stolen diamonds--unaware that their new bunkmate is a cop in disguise! When these evil dames escape, they make a bee-line for the stolen loot. Too bad for Connors and his hot tomato that they stumble upon these tough broads! What follows is a rather dull boat trip through the bayou punctuated by silly dialog (featuring lots of "cat fighting", frequent use of words such as "dame", "broad" and "loot" as well as frequent whining by Connor's girlfriend) and stock footage that is rather randomly inserted. Well, at least it seemed dull until some of the women noticed that young and studly Connors was too much man to leave alone--and they began slobbering and fighting to get into his pants.All this slobbering is punctuated when the undercover cop falls into the swamp and she can't swim. Connors springs to the rescue and quickly dispatches an alligator with just a pocketknife AND he saves her from drowning---what a guy! Inexplicably, just moments later, the ladies take a break and a couple of them take off their clothes to take a swim--including the one who couldn't swim in the previous scene! Oh, well,...I guess they figured the movie needed a cheesecake scene regardless of whether or not it made any sense.Later, when they find the diamonds the ladies do the most logical thing--have a long and pointless cat fight--complete with everything but jello!! Then, even more stock footage in a long and meaningless montage follows. Then, in the end, the women all turn on each other and by this point, rather inexplicably, the cop and Connors have fallen in love and the film ends with the surviving broads being arrested. Hurrah for justice! This movie made the list of 50 worst films (from Harry Medved's book "The Fifty Worst Films of All Time and How They Got That Way") and whether it should or shouldn't have made this list is debatable. I'd put it on a list of maybe 200 worst films, but either way the movie stinks. As a result, the film is best seen only by bad film lovers (like myself)--not sane or "normal" people.

In this cautionary tale of greed and Roux rinses, three gun molls, one intersexual police decoy and Mike (Touch) Connors go on a boat trip. Desperately hoping to avoid the police in their rite of passage through an existential mobius strip of bayou, the women don hot pants and traffic-cone-orange shirts. In the case of Beverly Garland, also traffic-cone-orange hair. The erotic tension between the women, the intersexual and Mike Connors (and this reviewer) clearly trumps the need for camouflage as the floozies compete with the intersexual for the chance to caress Mike's big, hairy arms. And then slap him upside the head. Which brings me to the problem with this film. Mike gets wet, but Mike never takes off his shirt. Mike Connors with his hands tied behind his back is good. Mike Connors, shirtless and tied up would be better. Roger Corman really missed his chance to ramp up the subtext in this one.If you're watching MST3K, Joel and the bots are a little limp on this one, but the movie is fantastic. The short "What to do on a date" is a bit upsetting as it seems to feature two actors with affective disorders, perhaps Asperger's Syndrome. Tom's disastrous date with Gypsy doesn't fare much better.