Agent for H.A.R.M. (1966)

Agent Chance's pipsqueak popgun is a Smith & Wesson Model 61 "Escort", an ill-conceived .22 LR jam-a-matic meant to be carried as, believe it or not, a policeman's backup gun! Even after modifications to the design to correct reliability and accuracy issues, Smith & Wesson wisely discontinued them after just two years' production.When new, the Model 61 retailed for around $60 but have since become a sought-after collectible...for die-hard S&W collectors and possible wannabe H.A.R.M. agents.Not one of Smith & Wesson's better products, to be sure, though some of these little guns actually function well. I've never met anyone in law enforcement comfortable with using one as an actual back-up piece; most street cops preferred the Smith & Wesson J-frame revolvers for serious work. Many still do.Why the makers of the film chose to arm Agent Chance with such an oddball pistol is unknown; perhaps they wanted something distinctive for their "hero" and if that was their goal, they achieved it. Poor Chance would be been better served by the issue of an ice-pick which of course is not only inexpensive, but far more reliable in a close encounter. Or perhaps a sharpened cold chisel as a truly memorable "termination device"...

Agent for H.A.R.M. is about the lamest excuse for a spy movie that I've ever seen. Everything from the plot to the film's supposed hero to the locations is second rate. The lame plot concerns Professor Jan Stefanik and his search for the antidote to a biological weapon he created while working in some unnamed Eastern Bloc Communist country. A U.S. agency known as H.A.R.M. sends one of its top men, Adam Chance (Peter Mark Richman), out to protect the Professor. Complicating matters is the Professor's bikini-wearing niece, Ava Vestok (Barbara Bouchet), who may or may not be in league with the bad guys. Agent Chance bungles things and the bad guys are able to snatch the Professor. Can Chance rescue the Professor and save his secrets? Does anyone really care?I realize that attempting any sort of comparison between Agent for H.A.R.M. / Adam Chance and James Bond is an exercise in futility and a waste of time, but here goes anyway:James Bond – Sean Connery looking debonair in his tuxedos and tailored clothing ----- Adam Chance – Peter Mark Richman doing his best Mr. Rogers impersonation in his ever present cardiganJames Bond – Constantly faces the prospect of defusing bombs ----- Adam Chance – Watch in awe as Chance dismantles a television James Bond – Movies are filled with really cool gadgets ----- Adam Chance - The spore gun – a weapon that shoots a wad of green goo. Admittedly, it leads to a horrible death, but come on, it looks like something Nickelodeon might have come up with in the 90s.James Bond – Drives awesome cars like his Aston Martin ----- Adam Chance – Drives the family station-wagonJames Bond – Constantly wooing the ladies and charming them over to his side ----- Adam Chance – Comes across as a perv in a raincoat on the beachJames Bond – Super villains with massive, secret, underground lairs ----- Adam Chance – The bad guys use an airplane hanger in MexicoJames Bond – Exotic locations like the casinos of Monte Carlo or the ski slopes of the Swiss Alps ----- Adam Chance – Spends most of his time at a rented beach house in Southern CaliforniaJames Bond – Beautiful women like Ursula Andress or Honor Blackman ----- Adam Chance – Barbara Bouchet (Okay, this one's a draw. Bouchet is easily the best thing that Agent for H.A.R.M. has going for it.) See what I mean – there's really no comparison. With all that being said, however, I'll be generous and give Agent for H.A.R.M. a 4/10. Despite its many shortcomings, there is some entertainment value to be had. As unexplainable as it may seem, I do enjoy some of the movie. But that probably says more about me than the quality of Agent for H.A.R.M.

"Then we'll practice skeet Kendo and bring your Akido rifle too"--Crow"Starring has-beens and never was-zuzzes"--Mike Nelson"With Bob Marley and Prince!"--CrowThe Agent from H.A.R.M. looks like Dr. Smith from Lost In Space. So this movie is basiclly a 007 knock-off about an elderly secret agent who wears cardigan sweaters shuffles around the house and hits on a girl 1/3 his age? Thank goodness for MST3K otherwise this movie is unwatchable.

What can you say about Agent For H.A.R.M.? Well, for starters it has a catchy theme song that pummels you in the opening credits. You have a spy that kind of hangs around the house for the duration of his mission, hitting on a girl who's about a third his age and protecting a scientist from several bad guys. One of them is The Artist Formerly Known As Prince. Anyway, Adam Chance puts on a cardigan, gets his tiny gun and proceeds to take care of these cretins. Along the way we are treated to bad lines, spores and Truman Capote moonlighting as a madman. At the end, Prince is dead and ninety minutes have been wasted watching Adam Chance move about the house in his sensible cardigan.