Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! (2001)

I've been tempted to buy this movie for a couple years now, but never got around to it. Most recently, I bought one of Chris Seavers more recent films, Terror At Blood Fart Lake, which would introduce me to the LBP universe. Well, to be blunt, I was angry. Angry at myself for paying for it, angry at Seaver for making it, I was even a little angry at Amazon for selling it. But then, something completely unexpected happened, I watched it again... and again, and again, and again, and you know what? LBP won me over. Terror At Blood Fart Lake is now one of my all-time favorite B-movies, which now brings us to Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker. Naturally, after discovering the masterpiece of Blood Fart Lake, I would be much more open to giving Mulva a chance, and that's exactly what I did. But now, I don't know what to think...First things first, I don't know who that is on the cover, but that hot chick ain't Mulva. Pretty clever, but it would still be nice if Mulva was hot, or at least a half-way decent-looking human. I don't know what it is about the real Mulva that's supposed to be funny, and I truly do not want to know. Mulva is an obnoxious, goofy, extremely unfunny candy addict, who, after a traumatizing experience, hasn't been mentally capable of trick or treating. Tonight, all that changes, for tonight, Mulva will trick and/or treat as long as there's not a Zombie outbreak, or anything like that.Now that there's a zombie outbreak (sort of), the good citizens of Tromaville, yes, Tromaville, New Jersey, will no doubt be torn apart in a very unrealistic manner, by the very unrealistic-looking living-dead, yet, Mulva is only concerned with preventing her candy from being stolen.Along with Mr. Bonejack, the legendary Teen Ape, and some fat girl, Mulva sets out to kick some zombie ass, prevent Halloween from being ruined, and maybe even save some lives. Oh yeah, and there's also shameful amounts of puns, gags, and inside jokes.As for the sequel, Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape, you'll be pleased to know that the hot chick on that cover is indeed the hot chick on that cover. Our pal, Debbie Rochon takes over the role, as I can only assume the original was eventually put out of its misery. Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker reminds me more so of one of those shot-on-video introductions to a Troma movie, more so than an actual movie, however, this is definitely a movie, and no one can take that away from it. And you probably thought this was Seavers first film. surprisingly not, not even close, just the earliest listed on IMDb. I'm surprised they listed this one. It doesn't get much more amateur than Mulva. As borderline traumatizing as my most recent LBP experience was, I am sooooo ready for more. No, really. Seavers films are addicting. They seem really stupid at first, but there's some genius humor going on in LBP, and yes, I am aware that Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is clearly not the best example of that theory. This might sound ridiculous to some, but Chris Seaver just might be the great B-movie director of this era. That's right, the next H. G. Lewis, the next Lloyd Kaufman, or John Waters, or hell, at least the next Ray Dennis Steckler. In an age where stuff like Clerks and Pulp Fiction is what people consider independent film, Seavage and his pals keep the drive-in alive, with a company that may, at first come off as a half-ass Troma, but could ultimately be exactly what the B-Horror universe needs to evolve. I predict big things for Low Budget Pictures... or at least a whole lot of little things. As much as I love LBP, I'm not going to insult anyone's intelligence and play it off like Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker is one of my all-time favorites, but the pure awsomeness of Blood Fart Lake has given me the patience to see the beauty in any pile of garbage, as long as it came from Chris Seaver, but for the record, this one is pretty bad, and the original Mulva is pretty irritating. I'm not particularly proud of myself for doing this, but my new-found loyalty to LBP is just too overwhelming, *sigh*... I'm giving Mulva a perfect score. 10/10

Flashback! Flashback! I remember when I bought License to Kill with Denzel on the DVD cover. He made a very brief appearance in the movie. That was nothing compared to seeing Mulva on the cover of this DVD and thinking it couldn't be too bad if she's in it. Well, the Mulva in the Movie is not the girl on the DVD cover. She is butt-ugly and jonesing for chocolate, which is always on her face. What a ripoff! Now, that I am finished ranting, I will tell you what I really thought of this homemade production. Maybe Chris Seaver was hoping for an Oscar in some category, as he writes, directs, edits, shoots, and does the makeup. Maybe, he even brings the donuts.I endured this to see Debbie Rochon as Lady McPouchsweat. As usual, she acts way above whatever she is in, and she does that again here. As for the rest of the cast: let's just say it was stranger than anything I have ever seen.

I have seen A LOT of bad movies. I watch them on a regular basis and even some of the really bad ones, I can get through-ones that Mystery Sceince Theater 3000 wouldn't even touch. This is bar none the worst "movie" ever made. I use the term movie loosely in this case because it is more like a group of friends that got together and made a video, but sure enough it has some Troma in it. Even if you like the mindless Troma stuff, this one will make you wince in pain. It IS that bad!! The cover has Lilith Stabs on it (a hot goth/punk type girl of Bad Movie Police fame) in a little outfit with a huge gun. Very misleading. She is NOT in the movie and there are no gun toting babes gunning down zombies. Instead you get to watch an ugly chick with a chocolate stained face annoy the hell out of you with over eccentric bad acting and lisp. The imitation Cosby/Don King character-Bonejack-is something you would laugh at if it were your friend, otherwise it is just lame. The filmmakers felt free to make plenty of inside jokes (the reappearing ice cream poster in tons of shots) without letting the audience in on their little jokes. If this can truly be called a movie versus just a video that some idiots threw together, then yes. This is THE worst movie I have ever seen. It even beats out the Tempe classics such as Humanoids from Atlantis and Robot Ninja. At least with James L Edwards you know what you are getting into. I wonder how many suckers fell for the false advertising on the box cover. Well live and learn the old "You can't judge a book by its cover". Well Mulva didn't kick any zombie ass-but this movie sure kicked mine.

This movie proves that film makers don't have to have a Million Dollar budget to make a fun, watch-able movie. As I Said, the budget is extremely low, the video looks like it was shot on a Hand-held cam-corder. The acting is not serious, but goofy. Goofiness is what this movie is all about!10 out of 10Fans of B-Movies like this should Check out Puppet Master, Skinned Alive, Sleep Away Camp, Slumber Party Massacre, and other Full Moon Pictures flicks. For other recommendations, check out the other comments I have sent in by clicking on my name above this comment section. F.Y.I: This film is available as a bonus extra on the "Hell Asylum" Special Limited Edition D.V.D.