The Shadow Walkers (2006)

Well I guess I'm a guy living in my mother's basement according to some "reviewer" (read 'writer' or 'director' or """actor""") because here I am to talk harshly about this film. To say that until you can write a plot and film a movie by yourself like these "filmmakers" did is laughable. Taking my friends to an abandon building after visiting a Halloween mask shop and taking whatever horrible digital videocamera I have and calling it "a movie" is possibly the worst injustice of all. To call this "filmmaking" is making even those who film Smokeless Ashtray commercials at 4AM sound bad.My girlfriend picked this up at FYE last night and we threw it in the DVD player hoping for some cheesy horror fun. Were we wrong! When the one "reviewer" said this film was a work-in-progress I really hope the filmmakers will ship me a final version when they decide this POS is finished. The film really looks like it was shot with a $500 digital camcorder picked up at Circuit City with actors who aren't even laughingly bad. If this was pure cheese it would have been great but after laughing for about 15 minutes the joke wore thin. How long is this? 90 more minutes? The "plot" centers around a bunch of "scientists" who get locked in the bottom of a building with these mutated monsters - mutated by the Army in, well, horribly horribly bad "Army cameo." (I guess I can ring in on this having been in the Army for 12 years. Wait - let me guess - "it's low budget so what did you expect???") The big breasted females shed their white coats right away to show off their sexy Cami's and the guys mostly keep theirs on because I'm sure the low budget didn't pay for the guys to get their own sweet, silky Cami's. Almost as if reading off cue cards the main characters bicker at each other and I almost either laughed my ass off or busted a gut in sheer pain at the "acting." They start running from the Halloween masked mutated monsters with long finger nails as they try to evade death and...And I don't know. I honestly couldn't make it through another second. We turned it off and put in something else, putting in something else - ANYTHING ELSE. What did I expect from this film??? I'm not bored with my life and trying to make myself feel better by writing here. I'm just shocked this cost $12 used. I'm harsh in my judgment only because the movie is so, so, so bad. So the actors, filmmakers, and such can come on here all you want and try to blast those who hated your film but get this - you made a HORRIBLE film.Enjoy this fact. Get some friends and get some alcohol. Every time the film gets worse - DRINK. I think I'll invite some peeps over and try watching it that way. It'll be a lot more fun that way and we probably will be drunk eight minutes into the "film." Embrace the suck people cause this is certainly one of the worst films I've seen in a long, long time. Guess I'll be moving back in my mom's basement now! Time to move the boxes off that old moldy couch down there Mom!!!UPDATE: I finally made it through the movie with a bunch of alcohol and a bunch of friends. It really was a stretch at 90 minutes but we actually had a GREAT time watching it. Is the film any different? No - it's still HORRIBLE. But it was a lot of fun watching the jock Army guy fight karate mutants with the 4 big-breasted scientists in tow. As a horror this is a HUGE failure - but as a Ed Wood-like comedy it was simply amazing and we had a GREAT time doing MST3K like dialogue along with drinking. We really decided that we want to do our own commentary to this film! Watch this with friends and with alcohol and this film bumps up from a one-star to a four-star like I'm doing right now. I am still planning to move back into my mother's basement any day now.

Yes, I gave it four stars. Was the acting bad? I think the producer got what he paid for. Were the special effects laughable? Same answer as earlier. The plot, I think it was a decent amalgam of successful movie plots, (although poorly executed). I'm sure this was meant to be a funny (for the most part). I think a different director would have made all the difference. The way that some of the scenes played out was plain laughable. I mean the martial arts was kind of cool, but come on! These are supposed to be super strong fast kinda intelligent zompires. ( I say that because at some points in the movie he protects himself with light from a flashlight.) I think that a better director could have really done something with this film. That or more boobs. I vote for more boobs. I recommend watching this drunk with friends.

This movie is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. I mean there's a ton of other bad movies out there but this beats them all. Its actually considered a comedy because the acting is so bad and the make up and special effects. Its a lot of fun though to sit through it and laugh a lot. There's the funniest scream in the movie too. They play it twice. Watch this movie if you're looking to make great inside jokes with friends or family or if you just want to hear the greatest scream of all time. The actors probably deserve an award of some kind for being some of the worst out there. Don't let the cover to this movie fool you. Or the description because you'll be jipped for sure.

Awful simply awful! I watched the trailer and the effects were so 2nd rate where the cover looks intriguing and the plot described A group of scientists and soldiers wake up in an underground lab to discover their memories are gone and they're surrounded by vicious monsters. Designed to kill, these human-like creatures boast deadly teeth and talons. The group's memories begin to return, and they learn they may not be so innocent after all. The Shadow Walkers revolves around a group of people who wake up inside subterranean laboratory with no memory of who they are or why they've been put there. It all comes back to them shortly. They are in fact scientists who were working on a project to create the ultimate weapon - steroid mutant killers (hahaha, yeah, they are indeed running out of things to call new breeds of zombie-like creatures), and they've been trapped inside the building together with these creatures. Now they have to fight for survival as these mutants crave human flesh for some unexplained reason they also have a very high sex-drive which is shown to give us some T&A, well T at least. If you're a ravenous devourer of all things horror-related, you might find just enough in this goofy B-movie to warrant a viewing. This movie is definitely a BIG waste of time and lets face it we're only given so many years to live.. do yourselves a favor and look for something more intelligent, I think the director must have been on drugs when he was directing and who ever they used to do the make up and special effects are obviously school drop outs.. hmm maybe they are working for the dole??Seriously DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY!!