Teaserama (1955)

IF ONE IS expecting to see some really steamy scenes or a really credible recreation of the Burlesque Shows of bygone days, he'd have to look elsewhere. Oh sure, you say, "How do you know, Ryan? Well, you'd be right, at least to a degree. We never did see any such live performances; but in this fact is the key to our assertion.THE PRODUCTION, AS it is, looks wooden. stagy and the product of a cheap sound-stage; rather than would a filmed record of a show at the FOLLIES, MINSKY'S or What Have You.AS FOR THE cast, we recognize two of them from their work outside of the Burlesque circuits. First of all, Bettie Page is much in evidence. The impish little brunette with the Prince Valiant/Page Boy hairdo does her number and assists later.SECONDLY IN THIS category of "the recognized & Familiar" is veteran Burlesque Comic, Joe E. Ross. Having once been described as "a Jewish Wallace Beery", this was before he and his work became known to the general public through his characterizations on TGV sitcoms. He was Mess Sergeant Rupert Ritzyk on THE PHIL SILVERS SHOW/YOU'LL NEVER GET RICH and followed that up with a co-starring gig (with Fred Gwynne) as Patrolman Gunther Toody, NYPD, on CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU? AS FOR THE "adult content" of TEASARAMA, one must remember that it was 1955, not the "enlightened" days that we have witnessed. What was considered to be 'naughty' or 'sexy' or even 'hot stuff' in that day bygone day.THIS SORT OF film was usually exhibited in various "Art Theatres" or in the local Drive-In Theatres (aka "Passion Pits"), which also would screen some 'soft core', semi-nudies which usually displayed bare breasted, movie-star wannabees in some silly, senseless "comic" stories; which were clearly designed to be titillating and aimed at the prurient interests of young males.IT DOES REPRESENT a vanishing or even now extinct branch of the lively arts. The Burlesque Show's being a conveyance of being 'naughty' for young males has gone the way of the steam locomotive, ash trays and public telephone booths. It is for these reasons that one may enjoy screening this, if only once.ONE OTHER ASPECT of this movie, TEASARAMA is that some of the strippers featured sure appear to have become rather "Long in the Tooth".WE CAN ONLY surmise that making a film like this was a sort of last resort for the aging strippers, possibly a Swan Song.NOTE: At the time of this writing, neither Schultz nor I have any reason to footnote anything in this write-up. Amazing, no?

Well, at least Teaserama has Betty Page and the spectacularly-chested Tempest Storm to lure the viewer into a false sense of security. Once you get past these two, however, the film degenerates into dull gyrations from a variety of forgettable women, as well as painfully unfunny comedy routines. I assume they're supposed to be comedy; they could be just random words, it's hard to tell.If you're a fan of Betty Page, Tempest Storm, or just kitschy camp silly costumed burlesque then you might as well watch it. If you want something erotic, or exciting, then don't watch it..

Although presumably intended as an erotic burlesque, with comedy interludes, Teaserama actually comes across as an retrospectively amusing attempt at "harmless," ultra-soft porn with very unfunny comedians breaking up the flow. This is the first I've ever seen with a Dress Tease (as opposed to a Strip Tease). Of course the finest moments are provided by Betty Page, with her seemingly random facial expressions and hip jiggling. Possibly the greatest fringe in movie history. Kitsch, camp... call it what you will, it's got more soul than the rubbish most TV stations bill as "erotic" these days.

This is horribly dated piffle. It doesn't have a plot and it's completely tedious. The wonderful Betty Page is wasted in one of the worst movies of all time.