Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine (2017)
Saber Raine is hired to guide three elite soldiers on a rescue mission to recover a prince and princess who have been abducted from their home world. The trail leads Saber and his allies to a planet deep within uncharted space that is inhabited by strange mutated creatures.
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1. Bad acting. Check! 2. Bad special effects. Check! 3. Will become a classic? Check! 4. Fun to watch if you want to get away from your chatty wife/girlfriend? Check! 5. Bad script? Hell yes! Check! 6. Have time to waste and watch this flick? Check! 7. Casper not aging too well? Check!Most B movie actors are millionaires. Fact!
The idea for 'Galaxy Raiders' was sort of interesting, despite sounding like a very silly and derivative one at the same time. Likewise with the cover. Also enjoy sci-fi/adventure films out there, a few of them low-budget oddly enough. Despite the interest, expectations were not high before watching 'Galaxy Raiders'. It turned out to be pretty much what was thought it would be, except even worse. Knew 'Galaxy Raiders' would be a silly film not to be taken seriously and not a grand, lavish in scale film, not having the budget for one, but was hoping it would overcome any limitations. It doesn't do that and the amateurish execution of every component made it unwatchable. Visually, 'Galaxy Raiders' budget limitations show loud and clear, but it actually looked as though the production crew were not trying to overcome the limitations or make it look good. The sets and costumes look garish and cheap, it's chaotically photographed and even more sloppy to the point of incoherence editing. The effects are pathetic and look like they were an afterthought or made with only a tiny amount of money left. The modern technology doesn't really spice things up, the inclusion came over as random and pointless. Music is perhaps the least bad asset of 'Galaxy Raiders' on its own, it tries to sound ok, though the placement of it is inappropriate and discordant a lot of the time and it fails to rouse or give atmosphere. Not that there is a whole lot in the first place, it all feels dull and muddled with very little character or coherence. 'Galaxy Raiders' writing is non-stop gibberish, unintentional humour and clumsiness. The references were not witty or clever, let alone inspired, they felt thrown in and very randomly and clumsily. Then there is the story, which is ridiculous, emotionally cold, all over the place in terms of focus and tone and dull. It's basically too many ideas thrust into the already over-crowded kitchen sink and there is not one scene where this feeling is shaken off. The more action-oriented scenes are far from exciting.Characters are ones one is irritated by rather than connecting with them, nothing relatable or interesting about characters so sketchily developed and annoying. They are over-familiar archetypes and the conflict is so black and white it becomes predictable. The acting is a mess, some of 'Galaxy Raiders' on this front over-play, others are like emotionless robots. This is including, and actually especially, Casper Van Dien, the most well known name.Overall, extremely poor. 1/10 Bethany Cox
This is old school space opera at its full silly. When I watched it, I didn't note the release date. It felt like I was watching something from the late 80's or early 90's.It looks like 1980's movie effects. The script is typical 80's low budget. Boy meets girl, boy and girl save the universe. Boy and girl fall in love. It even borrows the look of Han Solo from the 80's. White shirt, blue uniform jacket with no insignia, blue uniform trousers, obvious sidearm... and just slightly graying.Wait, let's run that checklist again: Boy Meets Girl: Two, actually, both aliens. (One is Very Near Human, one isn't.) Boy and Girl save the universe: Kinda... for the moment... but the villain escapes for the sequel. Boy and Girl fall in love: Yep. Well, it sure looks like it.The thing is, this is a modern cast, with retro (obviously practical), Gerry Anderson style FX. Space Precinct wants it's look back...Casper van Dien is at his heroic comfortable level here. He does some stunt work, he does a decent sword-fight or two (depending upon where one draws the line at decent), and is the worst actor of the primary cast - and at that, he's not bad. He's the right age and physicality fr the character. Britt Laree does an excellent job as Fade - who is the leading lady every bit as much as Casper is the Leading man.Sara Salizar is definitely making a good choice moving to acting... she's both easy on the eyes and ears, and made me care about her character.And the actress under the lizard mask does a remarkable job considering the lack of articulation. Despite this seeming like a complaint, it's not. I love practical FX, even in miniatures. I love the "Tangibility" of them.And this does it reasonably well for the ships. Not, however, for the aliens. Oh, my, how very Jason of Star Command they are. (Look it up, younglings. It's a fun ride. Lame FX, but a fun ride.)The thing is, this looks like it was aimed to be either a series of low budget made for TV movies, or a pilot for a TV show, and not committed to which... And it ends on a scenery-chewing note by the villain. It screams, "More to come!" It's set, however, so that the first adventure has hit a strong chapter break, just in case funding fails.Bottom line: Waiting for the sequel...
I guess everyone who took a quick look at the cast was wondering: "Wow, really, THAT Casper Van Dien? The guy from Starship Troopers and Sleepy Hollow?" And yes, this is the only reason why I sat down at a friend of mine who collects trash movies. And it didn't take long and I got this weird "Command & Conquer 1 Cinematic" feeling. It's been 20 years ago that Titanic actually looked kind of realistic and Starship Troopers set the benchmark for action packed CGI. And here we are in the year 2017 and are being served with visuals that could have been done by a group of self taught high-schoolers. But that's only the first thing you notice - after this is goes on and on. This story. Sorry, I am usually a guy who tries to value even smallest mercies but no, no mercy here. This story is recycled, rehashed and wrecked - you are pulling your hair out because you just know everything ahead.The camera, the sound effects, the dialogues, the music, the costumes, the locations (this was probably shot in a forest nearby), the whole way people encounter and talk to each other, it's all so unbelievably lame - i wonder what some of the actors thought when they read the script. In fact a few actors try so hard to make this work you can immediately tell the quality of someones talent. Even with bad camera, clumsy dialogue and cheesy costumes some prove that even in worst conditions they can at least deliver a believable performance - and that goes to some actors, and the actors only.When you see some student movies coming out of some film or media universities you'd be surprised what the next generation has to offer. Even they would laugh about this embarrassing excuse for a movie. I'm so sorry, I just couldn't be nice this time. This is an insult to movie lovers - and yes, I'm also the kind of guy who also "gets" and laughs about Kung Pow - Enter The Fist.