The Vault of Horror (1973)

I had seen a few horror portmanteau movies over the years but I had never seen this film until recently. I had liked Tales From The Crypt to which this film is something of a sequel but this is mostly inferior to its predecessor.The premise of five apparently successful businessmen descending into the sub-basement of an office block where they find themselves locked into the well appointed room they have landed in with nothing better to do than drink whisky and tell each other their nightmares is not a particularly novel or strong one and the twist that they are all already dead would surprise nobody watching it. The framing story in this kind of film has to be strong and if it is like Dead of Night the twist in this part of tale has to be especially surprising but in both these aspects The Vault of Horror fails. The five segments are pretty variable in quality though one of them, the last, is pretty good. The opener 'Midnight Mess' has a neat twist in it and Daniel and Anna Massey as long lost siblings are pretty good but I thought it could have done with a few more minutes. One of the problems in the film is that it is littered with fairly big names who don't have to do much and in this story Mike Pratt- then a big name on British TV after the success of Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased)- gets about two lines before he is killed off. His character's back story seemed interesting but like so much of the film his part feels a bit underdeveloped.The Neat Job is part 2 and stars the great Terry-Thomas and Glynis Johns. Both are very watchable in what seems to be a light-hearted story about a fussy husband who drives his new wife to distraction because of his overwhelming neatness but the twist of having her to such distraction that she chops up him up and neatly labels his body parts in jars just does not work for me though the final shot is , well, neat.This Trick'll Kill You is better, telling as it does of a husband and wife magician team who spot a great trick on a holiday in India which they decide to steal by killing the trick's original magician only for the victim and her trick to exact spectacular revenge. The downside is that Curt Jurgens plays the thieving magician and he is, as he had a tendency to be, a touch hammy. Pass marks thoughWhich Bargain in Death does not earn. Owing something to a Ray Milland film based on an Edgar Allan Poe story about a man scared of being buried alive it is the most underdone of the stories presented and the music used at the point at which the film twists suggests farce. Michael Craig and Edward Judd were good actors and at the start of the piece there is a hint of a gay lovers plot that would have been daring for the early seventies but that is about it.Drawn and Quartered is the final story and stars Tom Baker just before he was reduced to working on building sites prior to being plucked to stardom as the fourth Doctor Who. In this story he plays an artist who, sick of rejection by the London Art Establishment, has decamped to Haiti. When there he discovers his paintings are actually selling well and that a trio of critics and art dealers who told him his work was rubbish have got rich on it.Being set partly in Haiti it is predictable that voodoo is on the menu as Baker seeks to gain his revenge and the closure of the story is predictable but the murders Baker dreams up are delightfully grizzly- the middle one is a genuine hand over your eyes moment- and it is curious to see a pre-Who Baker. He was of course very good in that latter role but everything he has done since has sounded like a slightly camp reprise of it. Here he is just a very good young actor.This film is disappointing for the most part but I have seen worse for sure.

Five strangers enter a lift that takes them to the wrong floor—the sub-basement—where they find comfy chairs and drinks waiting for them. With no exit from the room, they settle down and begin to tell each other about the recurring dreams that they have been having (as you do).In the first story, Midnight Mess, Rogers (Daniel Massey) travels to a strange town in order to murder his sister Donna, who has inherited all of their father's money. After doing so, he visits a restaurant where he is served a most unusual meal, and finds himself providing refreshments for the rest of the clientèle, who only come out after dark.The next dream, The Neat Job, is relayed by neat freak Critchit (Terry Thomas), who constantly berates his wife Eleanor (Glynis Johns) about being tidy. After a stressful afternoon, Eleanor eventually snaps, and shows Critchit just how organised she can be when she wants to.Dream number three is titled This Trick'll Kill You and stars Curd Jürgens as a magician who, with the help of his wife, finds a trick that is guaranteed to wow the audience. Shame they don't get the opportunity to try it out in front of one.Bargain in Death, the penultimate story, has author Maitland (Michael Craig) devise a life insurance scam that involves him being buried alive after taking a drug that induces a death-like state. Unsurprisingly, things don't go quite as planned.Tale number five is Drawn and Quartered, in which struggling artist Moore (Tom Baker), residing in Haiti, discovers that he has been exploited by three men. A quick visit to the local voodoo man gives him the power to exact revenge through his paintings.Based on the EC comics of the same name, The Vault of Horror is a rather uninspired collection of tongue-in-cheek tales of the macabre that are neither scary nor all that shocking; a decent cast can do little to make this mediocre material shine. There is, however, some fun to be had from the occasional spot of garish comic-book gore, so if you do decide to check the film out, be sure to watch the unedited version to get the full ghoulish effect.Oh, and no prizes for guessing that all of the men in the lift are actually dead.

Disembarking an elevator, five men find themselves in a small room and proceed to tell their dreams to each other to pass the time until they are rescued.The Good Stor(ies):This Trick'll Kill You-Traveling to India, a magician looks to find a new trick to bring into his act. His assistant wants to leave, but after agreeing to another night, he happens upon a local performing a special rope trick. Wanting to know how it works, he tries to get the secret of the act but it soon resorts into something that none of them saw coming. This is a really interesting one that is quite fun. The central premise is quite fun and there's a central air of mystery to be had as it takes place in a foreign country with a seedy underside. There is one particularly gruesome effect when a fakir manages to push a knife right through his cheek, and the scene where his assistant climbs the rope, sees something at the top, screams and disappears, leaving nothing but a swiftly spreading pool of blood on the ceiling is particularly gruesome. Even the rope attack at the end is done well, and the only real part that isn't all that terrific is the long sequence where they try to figure out the trick. It goes on a little too long, but is the only thing wrong with it.Drawn and Quartered-Living in Haiti, an artist finds that his agent has been ripping him off by informing him his paintings are worthless while actually being sold for a lot of money in London. Meeting with a local witch-doctor, he finds that whatever he paints happens in real life. Traveling to London, he threatens revenge but it gets laughed at. Remembering his deal, he sets out to paint their futures for him to decide upon. This one here isn't anywhere near that bad, and is quite fun. The central premise is incredibly original and intriguing, and the fates suffered by the victims are fun to watch unfold. These are great ones and do get a few chills watching them, especially the gunshot one which is really suspenseful. Even the lead-up to the final twist has a few good parts going for it. The ending is a little predictable, but that's all that this one has against it.The Bad Stor(ies): Midnight Mess: Looking for his sister, a man arrives in a small town and finds her living alone. Warned away from going out at night, he decides to venture to the only open restaurant in town. Waiting to be served, he comes across a terrible secret that is particularly shocking. This one here is particularly uneven. Despite the strong central image of vampires planting spigots in a victim's jugular just like a wine cask or the most effective one where the curtains are pulled back to reveal a dining hall filled with reflection-less vampires, this one isn't that spectacular. The twist comes rather quickly, the whole thing is rushed out and this never once takes the time to build up to anything worthwhile. As well, the image of the incredibly fake vampire teeth protruding from the mouths is purely laughable. It's decent, but not that spectacular.The Neat Job-Moving in together, newlyweds quickly realize that his tidiness is a major source of irritation. As they spend more time together in the situation, it soon becomes even more irritable and distressful, and eventually she tries to make things right, to no avail. When it finally becomes too much to bear, she resorts to special means to get it solved. Simply put, this one is dull. It's not that horrific, nothing terribly shocking happens or anything at all, the twist is seen coming from a mile away and as a whole, the idea isn't that terrifying. This is the weakest of the stories and is easily forgettable.Bargain for Death-After realizing he's broke, a horror writer decides to fake his own death to collect the insurance money. As it works to perfection, he awakes in his casket and is soon dug out by medical students who want to bring him back to practice on. When it turns out that the cadaver isn't what they wanted, they resort to other means to get away. This one pretty much plays out like the first one, it's too rushed and doesn't have the time to build up to anything. Nothing is really remarkable about it, and it ends up not really making an impact on anything. The comedy in here is really dreadful and not that funny. It's only real bright spots are the nasty car crash and a pretty gory spade in the head death, but these here are the only things worthy about it.Today's Rating/PG-13: Violence.

I recently saw this film for the third time! Each time I enjoyed it! It had a good cast of stars in it, even though it didn't have Peter Cushing in it like all the other Amicus Anthologies! I liked all the stories except the second one because the woman in it was so annoying! Many fans of this film say the forth story was the weakest but it was pretty good, even though confusing! It was at less better than the second story! The first, third, and most of all last were, to me, very good! I also like what I didn't here and see in this film! Although made in 1973, when most horror films were adding "adult" material into their scripts, "Vault of Horror" (as with all Amicus Anthology movies) had no gutter language, blasphemies, nudity or sex in it! It also had a good moral theme to it that says we must take account of the evil deeds we commit sooner or later(as does "Tales From the Crypt)! I rank this film perhaps number 3 to "Tales From The Crypt" and "Asylem" as my favorite of Amicus films!