500 MPH Storm (2013)

Wow If I could figure a way to give this a lower rating I would. My god. I watched it on a pay per view streaming a couple years ago. I can Not get it out of my head and like a very bad commercial Jingle but the whole movie is that way. I felt I had to watch it as I had paid for it. But I will never do this again. Some spoiler points. That teenage kid. As someone said they would have thrown him out of the car. Not to mention they left a dog to die. Not cool. No point in Not saving the dog. There was room in the car. The Chopper taking off to get out of the fire. Well. I just cannot say how badly done that was. Wrong engine sound. I actually saw the folks that made this movie. Did not meet them as they were too full of themselves. When Someone wanted to make an announcement these idiots would not shut up even thought they were made aware that someone wanted to make an announcement. I will not say what else they did that was extremely rude. But now I fully understand in the movie if you can call it a movie they leave the dog to die. And they would have left the dog and anyone else to die in real life I think based on the arrogance. I like to make fun of poorly done B movies. But I have no words for this one. I could not make fun of it. I feel sorry for it somehow but at the same time I want to destroy all the 0s and 1s in computer code that make up this abortion. I can not call this a B movie. If there were a rating of A to F I would give it an F. But there is only one movie as bad. Plan Nine from outer space. But at least that had some character. It was dreadfully painful but this movie is still causing pain years later. The poor actors. Well At least the head actor I think may be a good actor. But must have been as someone else pointed out held at gun point and made to act. And the shot of him in a strong wind holding onto the lip of a man hole that was not even a man hole was played for a long time. As if it was some miraculous shot that no one on earth could have ever done and that anyone seeing it would want a poster of it. So you kind of get a poster as they just keep showing it. I am pretty sure it is the longest shot even done. Or it was just so bad that It felt like it. Now if you want a B movie that is good in my opinion. Watch a movie called Razorback. You can NOT not like this movie. In Fact. It is the best Movie ever made....... about a man eating hog. So even if you are NOT into man eating hog movies you will still like it.

This film came as a very pleasant surprise. Thoroughly plausible storyline and enthusiastic actors and special effects guys who were doing the best they can with windows movie maker.It begins with a lovely day of people floating around in their hot air balloons but then peril soon becomes disaster!! Some science bods and some military guys were making an attempt at some super laser beam renewable energy which was badly designed and caused storms which caused more laser which caused more storms... There was a kid in the film and he was supposed to be about 16 but clearly acted by someone about 25. This kid said "they just exploded!" talking about people caught up in this tornado. I had to take the film back and it was just some hot air balloons caught up in a tornado, and no sign of anyone exploding at all. Some people were trying to make some renewable energy thing but instead it made storms and tornadoes and hurricanes and stuff and they kept growing and somehow this doofus guy managed to save the world somehow by doing something.10/10

Were to start with this? Well the basic storyline is the same as the 2003 movie "The Core". An experiment starts a series of storms that ultimately will result in the destruction of the Earth. Standard disaster movie stuff.Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers) stars in this less then brilliant disaster movie. Although you would be forgiven for not recognising him with his grey stubble and 90's inspired hair style.I have to say that the 2.2 rating on IMDb is fair.The acting is poor, the storyline is unoriginal and badly executed, the CGI is not up to the task, and the dialogue is very bad.Is it worth a watch? No. I'd actually avoid this. It doesn't come close to being a good "bad" movie.You can't even watch this ironically. Worst I've seen since Transmorphers.

So excited when I stumbled upon this new release from The Asylum on Netflix. (If Netflix so called "recommended" algorithm actually worked, I would've known about it the minute it hit the Net, but that's another review.)If you're not a die-hard doomsday fan, and thus unfamiliar with The Asylum, you will hate this movie. Contrary to other reviewer statements, this film does not remotely take itself seriously. It has no greater ambitions than to fulfill contract obligations with SyFy Channel actors and do so in a manner that costs as little as possible.It's simply the latest in a long line of "let's end the world on the smallest budget possible" films that are greatly beloved by by fans of the genre.*Possible Spoiler* When little Johnny, played by a full grown adult, complains to mom that "People just exploded" and she replies, "Just be quiet and play your game", you know we've got a winner!The new addition of narration that apparently comes from a parallel world given its ability to cross the space-time continuum is a bonus. (Random Character: "Oh, look it's going to rain". Random Newsperson: "As storms continue to rage, killing a bazillion people...")In a film where a car is literally the main vehicle for plot advancement, and also happens to be the most lovable character, (" I can drive straight through an F-6 & not get a drop of rain on me", you really just gotta let go of your preconceived notions of plot development, or continuity 'cause The Asylum sure as a heck did.