All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2007)

The title character in this film reminds me of that epitaph allegedly to be found in an Aberdeen churchyard:-"Here lie the bones of Elizabeth Scarlett Born a virgin, died a harlot. She was ay a virgin at seventeen, A remarkable thing in Aberdeen". Mandy Lane is a student at a Texas high school. Although she is attractive, Mandy is not part of the school's "popular set"; we are told that she is shy, puritanical (having been brought up by a strict aunt following the deaths of her parents) and still a virgin at seventeen. (A remarkable thing in a high school movie). Her best friend is a geeky, bespectacled boy named Emmet, although their friendship appears at first sight to be platonic and non-romantic. Her good looks, however, make her a favourite with the other boys, hence the film's title. The scriptwriter may have chosen the name "Mandy" because it is short for "Amanda", Latin for "she who must be loved".At least, the script tells us that Mandy is a shy, puritanical virgin, although Amber Heard (still in the early part of her career and not yet Mrs Johnny Depp) plays her more like a provocative, mini-skirted flirt. And would a shy, puritanical virgin really have accepted an invitation to spend a weekend at a secluded ranch house with a group of classmates whose main obsessions are drink, drugs and sex (although not necessarily in that order)? When they arrive at the ranch, however, the young people start to disappear mysteriously, and they realise that someone is attacking them. The film is an example of the "slasher movie", a genre dating back to the seventies and eighties. By 2006, however, films of this type had long since evolved their own set of conventions which had hardened into rigid clichés. The victims, for example, are normally teenagers who fall into one or other of the various stereotypes of the standard American High School movie. "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" is no exception, although the scriptwriters do seem to have paid rather more attention to characterisation than is normal in films of this type. Mandy, for example, is a willowy blonde beauty who is neither (i) a cheerleader nor (ii) from a wealthy family nor (iii) most popular girl in the class. Bird is a star athlete who is neither (i) arrogant nor (ii) academically challenged, although the film does contain another prime example of the "arrogant jock" type". Chloe, although another "most popular" blonde cheerleader type, is curiously lacking in self- confidence and jealous of Mandy's looks, and tries to compensate by making bitchy remarks about the third girl in the group, the oddly-named Marlin. (Either her parents couldn't spell "Marlene", or perhaps they really did want to name their daughter after a large fish with a spike on the end of its nose). Although the film was shot in 2006 and was released in cinemas in the United Kingdom in 2008, it was not released in the United States until 2013. Officially this was due to complications arising from the bankruptcy of its American distributor, but I suspect the real reason is that it is not very good. I won't reveal here who is responsible for the murderous attacks, but those familiar with the conventions of the genre will probably be able to work it out for themselves. What they will have more difficulty working out is the motive for the killings, but then killers in slasher movies don't really need motives. Films like this don't exist to enlighten us as to the social or psychological reasons why people might commit dreadful crimes. They mainly exist for the benefit of those whose idea of light entertainment is watching such crimes being re-enacted in as much gory detail as possible. Anyone who likes that sort of thing will probably find much to keep them amused in "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane". Anyone who doesn't like that sort of thing will probably wonder why the film was made at all. After the Columbine massacre and too many other similar incidents, films about teenagers running round killing one another tend to leave behind a nasty taste in the mouth and the suspicion that the film-makers are simply exploiting tragedy for commercial gain. Some critics compared the film to the early work of Terrence Malick, which made me wonder whether such critics had ever actually seen a Malick film. Director Jonathan Levine probably had, to judge from his bogus art-house touches, but someone ought to have told him that a few moody shots of the Texan landscape and a bit of Beethoven on the soundtrack won't make a sow's ear into a silk purse. "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" is no "Badlands". Still less "Days of Heaven". 3/10

The "twist" is very predictable. The ending will leave you feeling robbed. None of the characters are likable but you do not really hate them either. Pretty much do not care about any of them. Mandy Lane is hot for sure but I think "like" is a mis-characterization of how all the boys feel about her.This is another one of those contemporary slasher flicks that ends on a very dark note. If you are looking for vindication or a sense of justice where monsters are defeated by the virtuousness watch Friday 13th or Halloween.I believe that slasher films are analogous to a persons inner struggle to defeat the demons with in themselves. The residual rage that some of us care from our childhood. In most movies from this genre the protagonist defeats this darkness and finds freedom.In this film the darkness wins and the observer is left trapped in his own self destructive motivations.These are not spoilers but warnings to those like myself that enjoy a good slasher film because it renews are faith in the power of will!Be warned!

Mandy(Amber Heard)is on their minds. All the boys want Mandy Lane; nothing special...just drop dead gorgeous, orphaned and believed to be a virgin. At school even girls stand at their lockers and watch Amber strut her stuff down the hall. At a pool party, guys gather and listen to all the bravo remarks about who would actually be the first to have sex with Mandy. Moods swing when a class mate is killed. Red(Aaron Himelstein)decides to invite a smaller group, including Mandy of course, to a weekend party at his family's isolated ranch. This weekend retreat unintentionally turns a bit comical and it is a shame there are no characters likable to miss when the slashing and stabbing begins. My question is why Mandy wants to hang out with such idiots? No real plot to be found; just your standard slasher flick. True, there are some disturbing scenes, sexuality and nudity. Drug use and language help earn an R rating. If this is your introduction to Miss Heard; it is not likely you'll forget her.Also in the cast: Anson Mount, Whitney Able, Adam Powell, Luke Grimes, Michael Welch and Brooke Bloom.

For a while I wondered why this, made in 2006, took until 2013 to be seen. Because simply put, it's trash. Boring, over long, mostly poorly acted, I couldn't figure out why anyone would Love Mandy Lane. This doesn't work as a satire, it doesn't work as a slasher film, it just doesn't work. Poorly written and directed, with some very lame camera shots, there's a dearth of imagination and lack of decent effects in this. Nothing done is original in any way. The best part of it (and I think he should leave this of his resume) is Anson Mount (Cullen Bohannen from Hell on Wheels). This is just one terrible movie. I'm not going to recap the story because there may be someone out there who won't heed the warnings of those who suffered through this and may want to watch it anyone. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.