Bad Asses on the Bayou (2015)

Frank (Danny Trejo) and Bernie (Danny Glover) travel to Louisiana to attend the wedding of Carmen (Loni Love), beating up guys half they age and twice their size along the way. Danny Glover, who drinks, has had a liver transplant, and doesn't run. Carmen's dad (John Amos) is a Vietnam War vet so guess how that enters the film. Carmen is kidnapped, the sheriff who doesn't want to help in a town "just a tad bigger than Mayberry" becomes quickly a suspect in a film that would not qualify as a mystery. Mom begs our "Bad Asses" to find Carmen and the film goes through the motions of cliches and formula writing. Just tell me you didn't see the watch thing coming.You don't have to have seen the other two films to watch this one, although I think this film would only serve the fans of the series as the writing is mindless formula fun as old guys beat up young guys and oh yea, they have to go to the proverbial strip club to find them.This film is a soft 4 stars for the fans of series. It is everything you expect, but not much more.Guide: F-bomb. Stripper nudity.

The Three Acts:The initial tableaux: We open in Los Angeles. Frank's gym and Bernie's bodega were bombed and burned in the last film. They apply for a loan to rebuild, and are being turned down when a bank robbery starts. Our heroes break up the heist, and receive Internet and television accolades for it. Rosaria had moved to a new job in Florida. Carmen, their friend in LAPD, calls from Baton Rouge. She's getting married to Geoffrey. Her father is a generous mood, and springs for flying them in from Los Angeles.Delineation of conflicts: The reception in Baton Rouge was lovely. Then there is a break in at Carmen's family's estate. The intruders kidnap Carmen. Frank fights them, but there are so many that they prevail.The Sheriff is not interested in the help of the Bad Asses from Los Angeles. The kidnappers want 5 million USD. Frank and Bernie heed the call from Carmen's mother to find her daughter. Carmen's brother Ronald finds a clue: a Mr Buford at a racist strip bar. The guys are off on the chase, and it looks tough from the get go. The people behind it seem to be a group who has it in for Carmen's rich black father.Ronald keeps getting bullied by Kyle, the son of the Sheriff's deputy. Frank and Bernie help him out, but Earl makes the case for pacifism. The kidnapping tests that pacifism severely.Resolution: Frank and Bernie uncover some unfortunate connections. Do they have too much stacked up against them?

Well depending on how you liked the first two movies, you can expect to feel the same here. It's not that the movie redefines anything, though there is a change of "scenery". That's nice to see, but how often can you fake and fool criminals in one movie? Even at that age and especially if you consider the "bad guys" to be deadly (or at least they attempt to look like it).Still Danny Trejo and Danny Glover, the latter who is not too old for flying on a plane and ... well you'll see where I'm heading with this and what might have been written in there to draw him to sign on this movie. It worked and who wouldn't want that to happen on their flight/ride? Exactly. Back to the movie and the action, which is decent, especially if you consider who is playing the characters. There are nice touches (such as the not running thing, which they would be too old for and was one of the worst bits in Taken 3), but overall this is standard procedure.

BAD ASSES 3: ON THE BAYOU review by Mike SmithFrank Vega and Bernie Pope return, this time to Louisiana in an attempt to find a kidnapped friend.I love the Bad Ass and Bad Asses movies and when I found out that there was a third coming out I was happy. After the first scene, Bad Asses 3: On The Bayou had me smiling from ear to ear. Danny Trejo and Danny Glover are a classic team, they are funny together as ass whooping crotchety old men.The writing is really well done; this film has the same flow of over the top action, comedy, and overacting fun. Yes this film is predictable and the C.G. is very cheesy but it's a low beget and it adds to the charm. It's unfortunate that these movies are forgettable and a lot of people shy away on this movies because they are not familiar with the franchise or because it's independent. This film has heart which some big movies don't have.If you haven't seen the last two films (Bad Ass and Bad Asses) you most likely won't enjoy this film. These movies are not to be taken too seriously, sit back, have some fun and laughs. They leave it open for a fourth movie but I think they should have capped the franchise off with this film. Either way you can count on me reviewing the fourth film if so. Bad Asses 3 is another good reason not to always reject independent sequels. Cheers and remember life won't suck as long as there is a good movie to watch.8 out of 10 Edited by: Samantha Locke twitter: FatMikeTPKFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FatMikesMovieReviews