Dark Relic (2010)

I cannot believe I sat through this whole thing, but that's how bored I was before -- mercifully -- having to head off to work Sunday afternoon. Tepid tale about a group of knights carrying home a piece of the one true cross at the end of one of the Crusades. Unfortunately, this piece of wood attracts a demon, which in turn unleashes various plagues on them, including assaults by dead birds, wolves and bats -- or maybe they were locusts. It was hard to tell. Most of the time, the soldiers and others they meet along the way just stand around and talk. And talk. And then stand around some more. The demon is on screen for a few seconds in the middle and then for a couple of minutes at the end, but clearly this is where the majority of the movie's budget went. The film is just another in the endless stream of bad Sci-Fi Channel CGI creature features. The acting is not as bad as the dialog, thank God, but we do have to suffer listening to accents that range from veddy British to straight outta Brooklyn. What a waste. The occasional sword fights are clumsily staged, and the final battle with the demon is even worse. A brief sequence involving possessed monks in a monastery looks like it was pieced together from outtakes from Sam Raimi's ARMY OF DARKNESS. I am giving this dreadful flick a 2 instead of a 1 for the two very hot-looking babes who accompany the ragtag band of soldiers. It doesn't say here, but clearly this was shot in either Canada or Romania. Same difference. Boring scenery, bad mix of accents. By the way, instead of watching this, catch the Hollywood oldie-but-moldy, THE MAGIC SWORD (aka ST. GEORGE AND THE SEVEN CURSES). It has a similar plot and is a heckuva lot more entertaining and fun.

Well, as this being a SyFy movie, should basically be enough said right there.As for the story, well the plot was alright and it was a great idea, but the movie suffered horribly from it being badly put to the screen. And the movie really suffered from the crappy effects and CGIs.There were points where I wanted to claw my eyes out because of the effects, but somehow the story managed to keep me interested enough to actually watch this movie.As for the acting. Well mostly they were good enough, with a couple of exceptions. Nothing major or academy-winning performances here.I do not recommend you sit down to watch this movie, unless you got an unhealthy interest in the age of crusaders and in cheesy supernatural movies, and with crappy CGI effects at that! But hey, if that is your combo, then go right for it. Personally, I could find much better and more constructive ways to spend my time.

When I saw James Frain (from the Tudors series), I thought this might rise above most SyFy dreck. In some ways it does since the special effects aren't always terrible and some of the acting is almost good. The story is very weak, at times incoherent and it's likely to offend some. Continuity errors abound and reaction shots are laughable at times.Spoilers: one of the worst effects is the CGI wolves that attack the party in the woods. I'm pretty sure you could animate a better wolf at home with free software than this. The demon is generally nearly as realistic as he was in the video game Diablo II but it's size seems to vary a great deal depending on the shot.The premise is very odd in that the Holy Cross, a religious relic that has traditionally been thought to be beneficial is somehow tainted and causes the demon(s) to follow and attack the party carrying it from the Crusades, sometimes preceding them somehow to possess monks etc. The fact it's immune to a crucifix but susceptible to a talisman the Muslim warrior (Alyy Khan) carries seems a tad offensive. The Cross is evil, the Muslim talisman is holy - what message are they trying to send? In typical fashion, after the non-whites have saved the "hero" many times they're struck down in a very ignominious way and for no real reason other than to leave the stage clear for the hero. Just to show they can't be consistent, the tainted relic of the Cross is then shoved down the demon's throat to destroy him which thoroughly muddles things in time for a very abrupt ending.Even for free this is worthless unless you like to make fun of bad movies with your friends. Some talented actors were wasted here.

Dark Relic is a film about a group of crusaders who retrieve a piece of the crucifix that Jesus Christ himself was nailed upon. As soon as they take it awful things begin to happen to them: Their food is tainted, they shipwreck, dead birds fall on them, locusts swarm them, wolves kill their horses, possessed monks attack them and not to mention the fire-breathing demon that stalks them. That said this film was pretty good. The effects were above average for low-budget and the acting was great. I found myself giving the movie positive feedback by saying things such as "Nice!" or "Awesome!" throughout. There are many things to like about this movie which make it a good film to watch on a Saturday night.