My Teacher's Wife (1999)

****CONTAINS SPOILERS****Any imaginative viewer could create the entire movie based on the title alone. Todd has a crush on his attractive math tutor, played by Tia Carrere who is to acting what candy sprinkles are to a cupcake: they don't add much except the aesthetics. You are waiting for the moment when she goes au naturel, after which you turn off the movie and go to sleep. There wasn't much after that, not that there was much before that to begin with, in that it doesn't really deliver on that premise of the suggestive title. If you had your Vaseline ready, you'd be disappointed. The best scene for me was the soccer scene where his friend Faber is the incomparably inept goalkeeper. It was an actually funny stretch. You wonder why he ditches his equally attractive girlfriend to bed his married tutor, considering how bad things could get and did get. For good measure, his dreams of going to Harvard never materialize. Karma, maybe? Oh, I can suggest a title for the sequel, "My teacher's wife's even hotter teenage sister."

This movie looks like it is going to be a teen sex comedy, but it really surprised me how seriously it took itself. It actually works to be a drama, and some of it is actually effective.You can't really blame me for being misled--the presence of Christopher McDonald alone seems to suggest an off-the-wall sense of humor. But even he plays it straight in a story that has one foot in a teen fantasy, and several feet in Degrassi-style soap opera.The plot revolves around a high school kid who gets a math tutor who happens to not only be an attractive woman, but the wife of his math teacher. His performance in the math class is given special importance because the instructor apparently had enough pull to help the kid get into a prestigious college. He ends up having an inappropriate relationship with the tutor, almost costing him two friendships and the college recommendation. The climax comes when he finally gets an admissions interview at Harvard and realizes he is not sure it is what he really wants. In the end, he learns a lesson and gets his life back in order. His two best friends are still talking to him, although he now has a platonic relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I thought Tia looked really cute in this movie, but none of the performances or humor really moved me. I thought the Jeffery Tambor character worked WAY too hard at being senstive and understanding while still having high expectations. He made me squirm. I was especially disappointed that Christopher McDonald didn't have any good lines. I didn't dislike this movie, I just don't think I will watch it again.

If Tia Carrere was my math tutor, I want to study too. She is the epitome of beauty. A great smile, piercing eyes, long legs, and most important of all, she thinks of herself as just another girl. She isn't, but it's nice anyway. Much has been made of the sex scenes, but Tia was never very comfortable with body, until she was the Playboy cover girl of January 2003, if that's what you are looking for. This is a passable movie that isn't the raunchy romp that the exploitive cover art makes it out to be. Zak Orth is the center of a more emotional movie. It's that odd combination that brings the movie down. It succeeds as neither. Mute it and watch Tia, unless you feel more like getting in touch with your feelings.

Tia Carrere was the reason I decided to watch this film, as neither the title, nor the cover would have been enough to make me spend my time and money on this film – which goes to show, me and everyone, that a DVD shouldn't be judged by it's cover.***SPOILERS*** The film felt like it was trundling along, not really going anywhere for the moment – the awkwardness of Paul Faber (Zak Orth) around girls being almost too embarrassing to watch, and the fringe on the otherwise attractive Kirsten Beck (as Alexondra Lee) being too school-girlish to watch. Where those really fashionable in 1995?The relationship between Vicky Mueller (Tia Carrere) and Todd Boomer (Jason London) was tantalising from the start of though! That first meeting across the lake – magical. What a beautiful coincidence they should meet again just as he has behaved like a complete moron ("Boomer, with two O's as in moron…") in front of Alexondra. A shame really that we as the audience knew who Vicky Mueller really was. (Well… the title did give that away, wouldn't you think?)What really surprised me was the acting. Especially in the scene where Vicky gives Todd a metal version of his alter ego (the dog character), in the little white jewellery box. The actors really managed to recreate that tingling sensation of a first kiss – point of no return for Todd and Vicky. A shame really that the film ends with focus on (after getting over Todd's fathers Harvard drive) his re-uniting with his friends. I could envision a whole new film – following Vicky to New York – there must be a good art University there that Todd could attend?!?Nevertheless, a film that does just what we want Hollywood to: entertain us for the duration of the film. Did anyone else notice how none of the loves are happy ones in this film? Todd's mother is slightly insane (on the phone 24/7), his Dad doesn't find her attractive (any more?) Todd's teacher obviously is disenchanted by his wife and vice versa – Todd himself enters into a wonderfully erotic & daring relationship which, however nice it may be, would realistically be very difficult to maintain (age difference, maturity difference etc), and Alexondra & Zak do not get together because Alexondra is not mature enough to handle a relationship (-> her reactions towards the condom, the cheating, Zak's advances etc. are all very immature, and often involve running away), and Zak himself, the poor guy – is too much of a best friend/like a brother-guy to pull even Alexondra.Mind you, good film though! I gave it an 8/10. Brilliant performance by the actors - who bring the script to life.