Milf (2010)

This movie promised to provide me with some raunchy, over-the-top entertainment. However, it wound up disappointing me in ways that can only be compared to that gut-wrenching disappointment that I endured when I first saw a male person of color naked from the waist down. Similarly, the imagery provided in the form of poor acting from this cast of talentless wanna-bees is burned into my eyelids much like my first sighting of D'Qwon- the tri-legged track-star and beneficiary of white snatch.This movie very obviously tried to be the American Pie for a new crop of young lads. It exceeded only in being one of the few films in recent memory that was more poorly written and more poorly acted than American Pie. Normally seeing a guy collect seed in his eye-hole would bring me to a fit of laughter, but this seed collector even managed to ruin that for me. I have sent a notarized letter to SAG asking that this entire cast be barred from gracing our screens ever again.

This has to be one of the worst movies I've seen.. The actors almost made me suicidal. There's not even a story to it! It's just like "Oh, we're so bad with women our age that we need to go out and score middle aged women." Didn't know a college existed of 4 guys and like 3 girls? Anyways, I usually like these kinds of movies but this one was just horrible. Everything about it. The actors, the story etc.. I read these reviews before I watched the movie but I thought I'd give it a chance. Big mistake! I only thought one thing in the movies was funny. Then the rest that were supposed to be could be the humor of a pubescent 12 year old boy.

I was actually an extra in the bar scenes in this so I was stoked to see it all put together. They meant for this to be a raunchy college movie but the raunchy (boob scenes) parts were by far the least interesting, not really filmed funny, felt like the boob scenes lasted like 60 seconds too long after the laugh.The dialogue on the script sides were pretty bleh and not really referenced when they shot, pretty much every single line you hear in this movie is improv. Probably better that way. The director seemed indifferent on whether they followed the script or not, he seemed way more concerned about the camera work/lighting and really never gave a direction to the actors. . The one time I saw him direct an actor was in the bar scene, he told Anthony (Phil Marlatt) that in post they were going to add loud bar music and he needs to yell as if he's trying to talk over the music. So Marlatt yelled his lines and then the other actors did not yell during their coverage! I felt bad nobody said anything, guess it kind of works cause Anthony was in shock and drinking all night. The 4 four lead guys were actually all good looking guys in their own right so off the bat it was hard to believe these guys had bad luck with the ladies. I got no complaints on cast though, Jack Cullison was natural in his performance, kept it simple, the way he was in person was pretty much what you saw as the Brandon character. Philip Marlatt is a really funny dude and by far has the most emotional range. The British guy "Nate" got to be a little much for me, a bit theater-ishly big at times, but these 3 guys definitely figured out how to make their own characters seem like guys who don't have much luck with the ladies; Brandon was nerdy and awkward, Anthony was a spaced out, angsty, and over-sensitive, Nate was an obnoxious, 6 year old Austin Powers. Ramon Camacho, "Ross", he was also a good natural actor with charisma, but I had a hard time believing he'd have trouble getting with girls, his pink shirt really only made him look more alpha. Never got to meet the female leads. I thought Jamie Bernadette was uniquely pretty, probably a model/actress, just like anyone else her looks will help her out. Brandons mom was probably cast because she was the only one of the herd of milfs, willing to do nudity, that actually read like a real person. Every other actress with a boob scene probably never got the memo that they were making a narrative feature and not a porno. HATERADE CLEANUP BELOWI see people ripping on so many obvious things about this movie, this is for you; Yes, this movie is a prime target for hecklers to roll around in bitter flavored green muck, so hecklers, wipe the mud from your eyes and take another look at the cover; THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE IS "MILF!" The entire production of this film was taken about as seriously as you were when you decided to watch the film and if you understand film business you will understand the fact of the matter is that the consumer (those of you who watched the movie) was drawn in to a movie based on the cover. You selected Milf, in a genre of goofy-college-raunchy-boob comedy, intended for a 15 year old boy who get to think college will be a sex-crazed party place where no school happens just alcohol and sex. If you're an envious low-budget filmmaker who thinks only big budget films get the breaks, take a lesson from this company. I've been on their set, this was an incredibly low budget film but the difference is they know how to get a movie out there around the world. This is the same production company that makes Megashark vs Giant Octopus, their movies are ridiculous and it works, most people buy their movies knowing what they're going to get, ridiculous. That's a business profile that generates them the opportunity to continue to generate 14 movies a year, I think their method is working for them. Most low budget film and high budget films don't make money, theirs do. That being said, I will join everyone and say the script was a miss. I think it would have been a better movie if it was just the storyline of Brandon and Anthony, best friends both trying to keep the same secret that they've slept with the others mom and see how both characters deal with it. I felt the Nate and Ross bet was basically to make sure to have a lot more boobs in the movie. I think the directors strengths were in cinematography and he didn't care much for story or guiding the actors. Every single actor in this had no long list of credits to their name, if the one film you saw an actor play in was the movie Milf, it's silly to assume anything about their talent. I pretty much got what I was expecting from this movie.

This movie is absolutely awful! The producers/directors for this movie must have a lot of money to waste, but probably not. Some of the scenes looked like they were shot on a stage, like this was a play. The acting is 3rd rate (sorry, 2nd rate would be a stretch). How many of them have only x-rated films on their resume? The actor who plays Anthony? OMG! Stick to producing! He was terrible. DO NOT WASTE ANY MONEY ON THIS ONE! I saw it free on Netflix. Good luck to this cast in using this to find more work ;) A plot? I guess that would be the only thing that puts this a step above the normal low budget x-rated movies. The writers must have worked for free. The lines? What were they thinking? Was this made by a bunch of freshmen college students? The women used as the MILF's must have come from time off at the red light district. There was no acting here!