Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995)

"Attack of the 60foot Centerfold" (1995): Please don't hassle me about the title. That's exactly the way it appears on the screen (and on the cover of the Buena Vista DVD. Incidentally, that must be the smallest manufacture credit I've ever seen in my life. I had to search the DVD with a magnifying glass to find it)! Anyway, I enjoyed this one. I'll admit that the rat was no rat and would have been better left on the cutting-room floor, but otherwise I found the lightweight script very entertaining, partly because it didn't take itself too seriously. I thought the special effects looked pretty convincing at the very least, and many of them were beyond reproach. The star girl, J.J. North, is a wow, but some of the other ladies ran her close. The rest of the players lend able support and I would describe producer Fred Olen Ray's direction as extremely competent.

This movie involves beautiful women I admire them. Even I think Charlize Theron; Renee Zellweger; Amanda Detmer or Kirsten Dunst should replace J.J. North because they are famous movie stars would be good for the movie. This is better than the original and remake of Attack of the 50 foot Woman. I give this movie a lucky seven because it is the kind of movie I want to watch. Who thought this is a terrible movie? Not to me for any reason. Even Claire Danes and Jessica Biel would also play great centrefolds and not Daryl Hannah. This movie is not bad at all to me. It would be nice if it was re release back in the theatres because I want this movie to be as profitable as possible.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* Before renting "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold", I only had one thought on my mind: If this movie doesn't have a giant topless woman, it will be an absolute failure. I'm pleased to tell you that there are giant naked breasts in this film. Thank God for that. I think we can all agree that that's a good thing. In the case of this movie, it was a very necessary thing.So three hot babes are competing for Centerfold of the Year. The competition rolls over to the publisher's beach mansion. He has Nikki Fritz as his loyal girlfriend/servant. He must be doing something right. It's up to him to choose the Centerfold. The ladies get catty with each other and scheme to win. One of the babes starts drinking a beauty enhancement potion that has a nasty side effect. It makes you huge! Soon there will be a giant blonde moping about the beach while the publisher warms to the idea of a monstrous blonde as his centerfold. The other ladies cry foul and scheme some more… Lots of topless women. Bad jokes. A giant naked blonde. "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold" has many pleasing B-movie elements. I was amused. The writing was actually pretty good on this one. I laughed a few times. The only thing missing from this movie was some centerfold attacking action. The giant centerfold really didn't attack anything. She was more into feeling sorry for her giant self. I was hoping to see a scene where the topless giant steps on some cars and topples a few buildings. "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold" had a 60 foot centerfold but there was no attack. Oh well. I'd rather have the giant woman anyway.

SOME SPOILERS INVOLVED AS A WARNING: I knew when I first rented this movie that this movie would be crossing risky ground from the original Allison Hayes/Dorothy Provine/Joy Harmon material, but I never suspected anything could degrade this low. Darryl Hannah's horrendous remake seems grand compared this tripe. Primarily made just for J.J. North and her cronies to flash their breasts every ten minutes; I don't even think any of them are that attractive. This exploitive piece of tripe is full of bad jokes, bad stereotypes and a ridiculous script. The second the redhead got as big as North,the movie went from bad to worst. This movie should be taken out of your video store's sci-fi area and put in the naughty room in back... or better yet, in the dumpster. Tommy Kirk is back from "Village of the Giants" and Russ Tamblyn from "The Haunting" are along for cameos along with horror craven Forrest Ackerman, but the amount of swearing and sexual innuendo in this is enough to make you want to vomit. Three out of ten stars,but even then,I'm in a generous mood.