The Nun (2006)
Years ago, a cruel and merciless nun turned a boarding school into a living hell for her students until they could no longer bear the abuse, and she mysteriously disappeared. Now the alumnae are being brutally murdered one by one.
Going into this movie, I was sure that it's gonna below average. But didn't really think that it would suck so terribly. I was going along with the below average material I have been shown on screen. There are two twists. One comes towards the end of the movie which was unexpected. We'll come back to that later. The other one was that I was thinking it to be a rip off of "The Ring" (2002) but it revealed itself to be a rip off of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (1997). That's a "great" twist, man. Even there's a cheesy and cringe-worthy line acknowledging it. From the start, I was sure that it would be just a ghost haunting down story rather than a real horror with terrifying stuffs. I got that. It was what I expected and wasn't a disappointment. It has a some clichéd horror plot devices used in the most obviously convenient way. Also, there's a forced and equally clichéd romance of a horror movie. Also, the movie about a nun. Okay, I understand why she's all after killing her murderers. But why was the character so insane? Since the movie about the nun, wouldn't it be better if you establish the character with much more depth than what we saw? Apart from this it takes "anything can happen in a horror movie because it's a horror movie" thing a little too seriously. I mean, every single major plot point is appears at the crucial moment without any build-up. Finally, the ending. Before this, whatever that was going on wasn't so interesting but it was making sense in whatever the hell it was. The final twist ruins a movie which was barely holding up. You show that the nun and Eve were some kind of split personality? I mean what was with all those watering stuff before all those people died? And when Eve's mother was killed by the nun, who was Eve herself, then how were her fingerprints not found? So, it wasn't enough to rip off one movie, you try to make it "Fight Club" (1999) in the end? This is one of those epic and totally unexpected twists which completely ruins a movie. On the whole, it was a nonsensical movie and was a waste time. It gets an "E" and a "1.7/10".
I saw a review that said that there weren't enough horror films featuring nuns. Let me explain why (I'm not a religious person at all) nuns are 'married to God' and therefore they would not be violent, nor would they kill people (especially by means of coming back from the dead!). This film itself is awful. The acting reminded me of William Shatner, and NOT in a good way. I literately was narrating one scene in his voice where a woman seemed confused at the sight of water on the floor (as though she did not know what it was). The Nun itself looked like the Library Ghost from "Ghostbusters" which worked for a horror comedy, but not a straight up horror film. They even ripped off the William Shatner episode of "The Twilight Zone" (ironic) for a second to get what they thought was a scare. This film should be avoided at all costs...UNLESS you want to spend your night with a bad horror flick laughing the whole time...then it's worth it.
I suppose we could say that this movie is not, shall we say... a 'serious' horror film?. That means that the story is beyond delirious and a bit silly to a certain extent, but that doesn't necessarily imply that it can't be enjoyed. The main premise in this nice little horror flick, is obviously not a very realistic one and leaving aside the so-called ridiculousness of the story, this is definitely a must-see to all slasher fans. It seems however that this film was not exactly acclaimed and my wild guess is that the disappointment comes from grind-house lovers who expected a good'ol nunsplotaition flick and they got a Hollywood-like Spanish slasher instead. The other possibility is that some of the angry reviewers are the ones who assumed that this film was going to be by some means similar to "Darkness", which was written (and also directed) by Jaume Balagueró, who was in charge of the story here as well. Considering that "Darkness" was far more respected when it came out for being among other things so atmospheric and artsy, I wouldn't be surprised if some people expected something mildly similar or at least a few connections with this movie. However, "La Monja" was not directed by Mr. Balagueró, so I really don't see why there should be any connection whatsoever. So my little advice to anyone who is expecting anything remotely similar to "Darkness", is to discard this slasher, because it will turn out to be a major let down.In "La Monja", six young ladies in a Catholic boarding school, are tormented by a cruel nun called Úrsula, who is also the headmistress of the establishment. One day, during a sadistic purification ritual, Sister Úrsula goes a little bit too far with her medieval methods and tries to drown Mary, one of the students, as a way to purify her sinful soul. However, her cruel ritual is interrupted by the other girls, who rise up against Sister Úrsula and kill her. After that, they decide to make a pact of silence and throw her body inside a pool of holy water. Eighteen years later, Eve, Mary's daughter, begins to have strange hallucinations about a vicious nun who appears out of nowhere. Several people start to die around her, including her own mother and some of her class mates. Right after her mother's mysterious death, Eve takes a trip to Spain with her friends, only to find out that she's merely doomed to confront a terrible fate and discover an awful truth about herself.The plot clearly promises a nice slasher... and a nice slasher we get!. With a nice variety of well done murders and moderated use of CGI, this bizarre horror gem manages to entertain and mock slasher films for their similarities and lack of originality. "La Monja" is a good exponent of what contemporary slasher films are all about and even though the film is a Spanish production, it does a good work emulating some of the finest American films out there. The supernatural villain reinforces the evidence that the director clearly wasn't aiming to a dark or profound film and instead, he basically wanted to achieve a highly entertaining and unpretentious horror gem to enjoy with some pop-corn and a large soda. If you're in the mood for some genuine and simple fun, give this evil nun and chance and she won't disappoint you with her cruel punishments against the sinners who dare to stand in her way.
this movie has joined a plethora of amazingly horrible horror flicks on my shelf.it's so bad that it's good. that being said, when i'm rich and famous my friend and i are so remaking this movie...and i'm so going to be the nun for halloween next year.yeah, this movie is going up there with bones, crazy lips, uzumaki and any other awesomely bad Chinese/Japanese/korean/thai horror flicks i've seen, cheerleading camp, and every other horrible horror movie out there.yay horror films, yay nuns!