Moon Zero Two (1970)

If you ever wondered why Hammer Films spent so many years churning out horror film after horror film, check out MOON ZERO TWO, a timely foray into science fiction by the British production company. Put simply, it's a dog of a film, by turns excruciatingly embarrassing and rather dull, so I'm glad Hammer stuck with the horror bracket for the most part.Publicity has it that MOON ZERO TWO was conceived as a western in outer space, but the later Sean Connery-starrer OUTLAND did that style of film-making in a much better and more convincing way. Because it's impossible to take a film like MOON ZERO TWO seriously. The nadir, for me, is the usual bar-room brawl which takes place in area with reduced gravity, so participants are flying through the air and the like. I think it was supposed to be funny, but I certainly wasn't laughing with it. And what's up with those excruciating cartoon credits, which seem to belong to a different film altogether? This movie also suffers from miscasting on a colossal scale, with half the actors feeling like they're in some kind of pantomime. Pretty Hungarian actress Catherine Schell is about the best of the bunch, although she's saddled with a boring character. She must have enjoyed the experience, because she went on to star in the similarly-themed SPACE: 1999 in the 1970s. James Olson (CRESCENDO) has to be one of the stodgiest and unlikeable leads ever seen in a Hammer film, and don't get me started on Warren Mitchell's caricature antagonist. As for Bernard Bresslaw and his attempts to be menacing as a henchman, the less said, the better. I occupied myself for the most part in watching out for Michael Ripper, Adrienne Corri, and Sam Kydd in support.If you're a model maker or a fan of model work, you'll no doubt enjoy this production because the special effects are mainly of the model variety. As an action thriller it really fails though, as many of the action sequences take place outside the base and featuring characters wandering around in their space suits in ultra slow motion. Hardly what I would term exciting viewing, MOON ZERO TWO is a misstep from a usually reliable studio.

I have nothing bad to say about this movie. Other than the fact it is (as of July 2013) an on demand DVD, meaning it has NO special features (even though the two principals, James Olson and Catherine Schell are still alive to provide an interview and commentary track, and any number of film historians would take about $50 and a shot of scotch to review it). Set in 2021, the plot concerns Olson's Capt. William H. Kemp, an aging astronaut-hero who runs a space salvage operation on the moon where he scratches out every buck for survival. He gets involved with (the stunningly lovely) Schell's Clementine Taplin, who is trying to find a lost miner brother on the far side of the moon. Throw in a no nonsense, do anything for a Lunar Dollar businessman and an asteroid made of sapphire and there is the standard action conflict. This movie has been described as a Space Western, and I see the tropes and along with what would be called homage today - six shooter, bad guy vs. good guy, aging hero, and show downs. But the same plot devices are used in Robin Hood, Ivanhoe, Ben Hur, Hornblower etc., and were long before Akira Kurosawa provided a shorthand for lazy film critics. This film is closer to "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" than "Seven Samurai." And it gets the science and technology of the moon down right, and explains it in a way that even Kubrick could have learned from on 2001 - make it simple and don't drag it out. The science is pretty bang on. That is the problem with a lot of 60s productions about space, they were slightly a notch above the bug eyed monster craze of the 50s in terms of believable science. But audiences were savy by 1969/1970 having been exposed to coverage of the real NASA lunar program and other space exploration efforts. I would say this movie owes a little to Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's "Journey to the Far Side of the Sun" and the then in production television show "UFO," in terms of realism and look. Stylistic look, with props that make sense, and good looking 60s women in future clothes. It all makes one long for the future we were promised but never realized in the late 60s. Now, where is my food in a pill and hover car?

What happens when you combine go-go girls, disco music, spaghetti westerns, and 60s sci-fi? "Moon Zero Two" happens, that's what.The storyline reads like an after-school special, without much character development; but the parts are all well-acted. The miniatures and set designs are well-done, but true to the time; the costumes are mostly vibrant colors and PVC. There are honest efforts made to maintain credibility, such as the lack of noise in a vacuum, and no 'magic gravity' in space. The science is actually quite believable, especially in comparison to other 60s sci-fi.There are elements ("Moonopoly", six-shooters holstered in PVC gun-belts outside space suits, the moon saloon) of this movie that make it painfully cheesy at times, but not the same "so bad that it's good" cheese one would expect. It's more of a "I'm embarrassed to remember when those things were cool" kind of cheesy.Overall, an enjoyable watch (depending on your tolerance for '60s kitch) - 6 out of 10.

After watching this movie, I realized I don't remember a thing about it. All I remember is the soundtrack, and boy is it a soundtrack.This movie takes everything bad about every sci-fi and mashes it together with overacting and cheap special effects. The result is something almost close to a masterpiece in B-movie cinema, but not exactly. For one, the Jazz steals the show, for two, the style of the movie was obviously inspired by 2001: A Space Odyssey but is also obviously inspired from the 60s, and finally, it's just bizarre. This movie's got exotic dance scenes, a low-gravity bar fight, a complicated plot that you don't care about, space shootouts, bowler hat villain, tough guy hero, useless heroine, and bad haircuts. What else can I say? Oh yeah, scientific background is essentially non-existent, but who cares? This is a great movie to watch if you want to teach yourself what NOT to do in a sci-fi story; it's also featured on a great episode on Mystery Science Theater 3000. In my opinion, that's the better choice.I have no idea what the title means....