Night Watch (1995)

In this sequel to "Death Train" both "Michael Graham" (Pierce Brosnan) and "Sabrina Carver" (Alexandra Paul) return as two agents working for U.N.A.C.O (the United Nations Anti-Crime Organization) who are assigned to a case that involves the theft of the famous painting "The Night Watch" by Rembrandt. What they don't initially realize is that there is more to the story than this because the person behind these thefts, "Martin Schraeder" (Michael Shannon) has developed a computer chip which can eavesdrop on any phone conversation in the world. Not only that but this device can also kill any person who has their ear to a phone set as well. And since he is an avid art-collector "The Night Watch" was simply payment by a foreign government for the use of his device. Anyway, rather than detail anymore of the movie and risk spoiling it for those who haven't seen it I will just say that this wasn't a bad sequel to the previous film "Death Train" (aka "Detonator"). Now, while I like both Pierce Brosnan and Alexandra Paul there didn't seem to be much chemistry between the two and it caused the film to seem a bit synthetic at times. No doubt the fact that this was a "made-for-television" movie had something to do with it. Still, I liked the different locations (Amsterdam and Hong Kong) and I have seen much worse in my time. That said I thought it was an okay sequel and I rate it as average.

NIGHT WATCH is a campy adaptation of an Alistair MacLean novel which knows that it is tosh and therefore has fun. Plot: two UN special agents (yeah, really) investigating a fake Rembrandt are drawn into a plot involving North Korea, "communication bombs" and terrible special effects. The film begins with the world's worst rescue mission as Pierce Brosnan, sporting 17th century whiskers, is chased by a handful of what look like Mexican pool cleaners before finding refuge in a rubber dinghy. It then descends into broad comedy as he tries to seduce his fellow agent whilst they are posing as a couple by suggesting that they need to put on an authentic performance in case the room is bugged. It concludes with an Amsterdam canal chase in which an apparently unattended barge full of oil just happens to sail in front of them, in order to provide the requisite giant orange explosion. It's all complete rubbish but at least it knows what it is and laughs at itself. A very gentle Sunday afternoon watch.

I'm not sure if I need to enable the spoilers for this movies as very few people will ever see this film or even care that I may have spoiled it.Pierce Brosnan sporting a musketeers mustache and some kind of mullet reprises his role from Death Train, and so does Alexandra Paul who died of cancer in Baywatch. (Death Train is better than this movie) The opening sequence features some kind of South American looking Soldiers chasing Pierce and his commando partner across a beach whilst they rescue some children, for some reason that currently escapes me, or the scriptwriters for that matter. These guys could not hit a cows arse with a banjo. They fire away aimlessly at some very static looking actors. Pierces partner get shot and dies. Pierce rescues the kids. The death of his partner affects Pierce in way many us will never be able to comprehend, but he does his best to at least make us feel his pain through the medium of acting.Next we learn that something known as 'Nightwatch' has been stolen, It could see stuff in old paintings the human eye was unable to perceive, schoolboy penises and stick women with boobs under the top layer of Renaissance art, the kind of thing Rembrandt always had to cover with paint after his art school mates had tried to ruin his canvass.So the director of some UN style organisation remembers how good Pierce and Baywatch were on Death Train and decides to get the old gang back together.Pierce is given a watch with a TV screen in it, he can use this to talk to his boss. There is no earpieces so whenever his boss calls him up everything he says is clearly audible to everyone around Pierce at the time, Pierce just talks into the watch in response. He looks mental whilst doing this.After this we head to Amsterdam where a man Baywatch 'Just wants to talk to' runs through town and decides to start shooting at Baywatch. He takes out a few civvies before escaping on a boat and crashing said boat into a barrel of oil? and erupts in a fiery explosion. Pierce has row with a big bloke after breaking into his house boat, and then they continue there quest to recover 'Nightwatch' in Hong Kong.All of this makes no sense. In the end I'm sure Pierce and Baywatch win.The action scenes are cheap, the gunmen can't shoot and I'm not really sure what Alistair McClean has done to deserve so many of his books made into bad movies.This film is bad.

This has to be the worst movie ever made, Ed Wood come back All is forgiven.I thought by renting this movie it was going to be a good spy/action movie BUT alas what I got has to be on the list for the worst movies ever made. From what I can make out this movie is about a stolen painting. I really don't know what it was about as after 10 minutes of this movie I decided to go out into the back yard and watch the grass grow.Mr. Brosnan you should be ashamed of yourself for making this DUD