Paradise (1982)

(this movie doesn't deserve even a 3, but I'm taking into account the cave shower scene... and the pool scene... and the dip in the ocean... and the romantic love-making... but the movie itself is simply awful!)Of course, I am here for Phoebe Cates. Young Phoebe Cates. Would you believe that she was a mere seventeen during the filming? And she is wonderful, even if she is not really in touch with the part at all, as she doesn't come across as a damsel in much distress, she is more suitable for FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, where perhaps something bad happened at school, maybe boyfriend trouble, because here she is more "oh golly, I dropped my ice-cream cone" than any real reaction to being pursued by murderous Arabs intent on enslaving her. She is, of course, only too cute with her brown bunny eyes so I am not going to complain too much.She disavowed the movie immediately after filming it. I can see why. There's very little of any real worth if you take away her input. She even sang the theme song, and it's kinda cute. Lots of nudity. Not all of them the young stars. They opted for less nudity, and scenes were shot afterward with extras providing body parts for the love-making scenes which were edited in. There is a lot to see of the long-legged teen however.Which is best, PARADISE or BLUE LAGOON? BLUE LAGOON, it at least doesn't have the chimps. But play it safe and go for RETURN TO THE BLUE LAGOON, with Milla Jovovich.Brooke Shields or Phoebe Cates? I haven't seen BLUE LAGOON in years, but fresh off PARADISE, I think Phoebe Cates is serious competition for Brooke Shields.Something I'm most definitely not going to shut up about are those chumps, er, chimps. They ruin everything! The movie is dorky enough already, but when the chimp appears, I feared the little beast might show up again, but whew! it was gone, only to reappear shortly before the halfway mark and really cause it all to capsize under the weight of all that corniness. Then, inexplicably, there's a second one, and they run about in stereo, any semblance of a real movie goes out the window, the ship was already beleaguered, but now it is truly sunk.The mood of the movie goes from romance to action to slapstick comedy, with a gory corpse thrown in really out of place in here. Kind of bi-polar, very noticeable in the structure.As for woolly Willie Aames, the poor man's Tarzan, well, long way off from EIGHT IS ENOUGH, huh? Kinda a stretch having him here. Little guy would be eaten for breakfast. But don't blame either of the kids in the slightest, they did their best, but the script, what an inane clumsy clod wrote that childish chimpanzee-ridden junk?How utterly convenient that these resourceful kids can lose everything in the desert, and, then, moments later, can come up with anything they need, clothing, cooking utensils, bedding, even a fishing rod. And when the plot demands a romantic setting, they are suddenly out of the desert, in somebody's back yard, how expedient.And as for The Jackal, somebody like that would hardly come charging out all alone, where were his men? Ooh what a lame corny script!Nothing you could take seriously. Except the beauty of the female star.

I can imagine the sequence of events. Kevin Kline as 35 when, on a lark, he went to see a movie called "Paradise." He was mesmerized, he could hardly believe what he saw, a nubile and beautiful teenage Phoebe Cates, and he decided right there, "If I ever get the chance to meet her I'm going to marry her." And he did, they have been married since 1989 and seem great together.I can see only one reason this movie was made - to showcase Phoebe Cates beauty, and it does that. As the movie progresses she goes from full British Victorian neck to ground dress, to skimpy dress, to shorts and halter top, to completely nude. And the nudity isn't fleeting, they film extended scenes of her taking a natural shower in waterfall in a cave, of her bathing in a pool, of her wading out into the sea, and underwater of her swimming, all without a stitch of clothes.Kevin Kline, I must congratulate you, for having made an excellent choice. I feel sure this movie was made to ride on the popularity of "Blue Lagoon" that came out in 1980. In that movie the children are stranded on an island after a shipwreck. In this one, set in 1823 Baghdad, Phoebe Cates as Sarah is traveling with a guardian, on the road to Damascus, but in a market they encounter an Arab who deals in white slavery, and he wants to buy Sarah. Being turned down, later he stages a raid but Sarah manages to escape down a well that leads to an underground haven.Escaping with her is a young friend she had made, Willie Aames as David. After the guardian dies, they find themselves all alone, in the desert. The rest of the movie is their survival and return to some civilization. There is a climactic scene in the desert near the end when the Arab finds them and David has to defeat him to protect Sarah. So most of the middle is of the two youngsters in various states of undress and discovering love and pregnancy, not too different from "The Blue Lagoon", except for the setting. Phoebe Cates was probably 17, maybe just 18, during filming so the scenes are pretty daring for the early 1980s. The story is very trite but the cinematography makes it worthwhile.Can you believe Phoebe Cates just turned 50 a few days ago? She is still beautiful.

Like most of the others, I found a lot of this movie rather trite. I don't blame Aames or Cates for this; I thought they were good actors who did their best with terrible material. The plot is something straight out of a trashy romance novel, which could have worked with better writing but the script is a mess. However, lost in this mediocre feature film is a great 30 minute soft-core porn. The sex scenes are highly erotic, and the nude scenes are done with much better camera work and production than you would typically have in a skin flick. I'm particularly fond of the cave shower scene, where Phoebe Cates positively scorches the camera with her hotness.

These comments contain spoilers to the movie. You have been warned. I first came upon this movie while channel surfing, and at first I thought I was looking at 'The Blue Lagoon.' I mean, the lead male has curly hair and a muscular physique, and wears a loincloth, and the lead female is skimpily-clad or naked, with long hair. Not only that, but they live in a similar place, and the plot has a lot of the same points in it, right down to the progression of the plot, and specific incidents. But it's not the same movie (thank God).This movie is no worse than The Blue Lagoon, but it's not much better. The only thing that improves it is the more-frequent nudity and the fact that the main characters are better actors. Worth the watch if you're really into "Stranded in Paradise and Falling in Love" movies. Otherwise, you may want to pass on this one.