The Perfect Husband (2014)

Nicola (Bret Roberts) and Viola (Gabriella Wright) are going to have a baby who is going to be a doctor and a lawyer. When the baby is stillborn, this creates psychological issues. Nicola takes Viola to a remote family cabin for a getaway, although neither one seems normal as the film digresses into a WTF blood and gore fest, followed by a light clued twist that says, "see how clever we are?"The characters were odd and I couldn't connect to any of them. The twist needed better clues as it comes on you all of a sudden. The dialogue did nothing for me. The was disjointed by design to show a mental state, by it lacked entertainment value because you don't realize it until the film is almost over. Might be better a second time through, or watching it knowing the over used ending.Guide: F-bomb, sex, rape. No nudity.

Having suffered the loss of their child at birth a married couple take a short break at a remote cabin in the woods (not exactly an original destination for horror movies!). Naturally things don't go to plan, the first half of this film has Antichrist spring to mind , only nowhere near as good. And it does start to drag, but then midway we're suddenly thrown into torture porn and slasher territory, To it's credit it doesn't hold back on the gore but sadly that's about the only good thing on offer here. Acting is pretty weak, especially Bret Roberts and Carl Wharton, with his northern English accent playing a ranger in Italy! Although it doesn't appear to be set anywhere in particular I would prefer to have seen it subtitled & in Italian with better actors. Italy has made many stylish, classic horror films over the decades but frankly this just looks like an American movie made in Europe for budget reasons. Boring first half, gory second half but silly & unconvincing twist. Easily forgettable effort.

Inept attempt at psychological horror that fails to deliver on all fronts. It's so dull it doesn't even approach "so bad it's good" territory, which at least might have made it a passably entertaining watch. Co-writer and director Lucas Pavetto is probably Italian (I don't care enough to confirm this) -- the film was shot in Italy but doesn't seem to be set anywhere in particular. The dialogue sounds as if it was written by someone who's first language is not English, but that's the language the characters speak, with a bewildering array of accents. The most impressive thing about this film is that they didn't manage to cast even two people who sound like they might be from the same country, let alone the same region.Bret Roberts and Gabriella Wright, as a couple trying to rebuild their relationship after a miscarriage by having a weekend getaway at the proverbial cabin in the woods, look and act like two models on a camping trip photo shoot for an outdoor lifestyle catalog. I don't envy them having to get through the stilted dialogue, but neither are remotely compelling or believable, with Roberts in particular giving some pretty cringe-worthy line readings. That's a huge problem considering that much of the run time is devoted to them.Pavetto's idea of building tension consists of throwing in lots of distance shots that make it appear someone might be tracking a character, an annoying array of spooky music cues and sound effects, and the occasional attempt at jump scares. All of these things, when employed in service of a story that is genuinely building tension, could be effective -- here, they just serve to emphasize the degree to which nothing interesting is happening on screen. There's a twist ending most people will probably see coming a mile off, if anyone manages to make it that far.For a far superior, more suspenseful and psychologically penetrating look at a couple breaking down in the wilderness, check out "Backcountry."

So here I am, writing a review of this "masterpiece" . This is the first time I've ever reviewed a movie here and for good reason. Nothing has moved me enough, until now. The Perfect Husband truly is a masterpiece. A true masterpiece of awful, where I eventually believed that this movie was a comedy because of how absolutely terrible it was. I'll elaborate. The movie initially seems to have potential, albeit slow moving. Attractive couple with problems seek to solve said problems by heading out to the woods - classic horror movie plot. Except this is where the parallel to all the other "cabin in the woods" horror flicks ends. The actors are bad. From the moment you see them on screen, you hear that voice in the back of your head saying, "turn it off, save yourself" but you push on through. They can't act. They butcher the horribly written script worse than anyone is butchered in the film. The plot wears thin quickly and deteriorates to something a 10 year old would write. The cinematography, despite what other reviewers have stated, is dreadful. Painfully, the camera focuses on scenery and objects as if trying to be artistic and yet reminded me of someone with an phone taking a home movie. It was distracting to watch, but I was determined to finish this train wreck. Did I mention the acting was awful? The only reason I gave this movie 1 star (other than a minimum required) was for the sound and music which seemed appropriate and even decent throughout. Even the makeup was like something out of middle school drama class. Now, I know my review sounds harsh but it's deservedly so. Filmmakers, whether they're big shots from Hollywood or from sheep town Italy should have respect for potential viewers and prevent travesties like this one from ever being made. Here's a novel idea, screen your movie, write an original script and maybe hire someone who could act their way out of a paper bag. I know the cast of this movie couldn't. Being an Indy film with a low budget is no excuse for this movie. It makes Human Centipede 3 look like Gone With the Wind. I can taste bile. I've just thrown up in my mouth realizing that I'll never get these 90 minutes of my life back. Thanks for this masterpiece, a true masterpiece of awful. 1\10...Do not ever watch this junk!