Hard to Die (1990)

This may have been the tamest NC-17 movie I have seen. There is a heaping helping of nudity (where the main cast takes turns showering) but no sex and a surprising lack of gore or violence. It feels like a PG-13 horror flick if you slapped on an insane amount of cleavage. If you're not into boobs, there isn't a ton here for you (or on most parts of the internet).For a short movie it seems to drag at points, specifically towards the end. Characters can be stabbed over and over again and return to be shot a scene later, and then again the next 2 scenes. Gunshots have no visible effect other than the character wobbling pretending to have been shot (Guns can also be shot almost indefinitely without reloading until the plot requires it). In some ways it adds to the camp but this movie could have been cut down to an hour.The kills aren't anything to remember, but the ending is pretty funny and the film has buddy cops getting donuts, hilariously awful line delivery and an incredible amount of boobs. Watch this movie if you like those things.

You have got to admire a movie that sets and then surpasses its own goals. HtD gets right up in your face and asks you if you want to see a slasher movie with five luscious babes (each with a distinct personality, of course) dressed in lingerie (unless they're in Daisy Dukes or in the shower without any clothes at all) running around a building after-hours and firing automatic weapons. Of course you do! Well, HtD delivers. Throw in Orville Ketchum, some irrelevant filler material shot at a porn filming session, and a bizarre cameo by Forrest J. Ackerman, and you've got a most-excellent B-film! Keep in mind that Jim Wyrnoski is not shy about using material from other films. In Sorority House Massacre II (which beats out HtD only marginally as the best B-movie, because it actually features a haunted house,) he used lengthy unrelated scenes from Slumber Party Massacre as back-story to SHM II. In HtD, he uses the events of SHM II, as well as the same footage from SPM, as a back-story. What makes this more than mildly amusing is that most of the actors/actresses, and many of the scripted characters, in HtD are the same as in SHM II. HtD acknowledges the events of SHM II with a wink at the fact that most of the characters in that movie died. You owe it to yourself to see SHM II prior to seeing HtD.I won't spend a lot of time on the plot. Let me just say that, through a series of improbable and illogical events, the five female leads end up wearing virtually nothing as they are stalked through a closed office building one Saturday. Quite a few people die, though usually off-camera and unrealistically, and "Orville Ketchum" lives up to his reputation as one of the funnier and more-difficult-to-kill B-movie actors. (The scene where he staples a bandage to his abdomen is priceless.) One final observation...unlike many of the straight-to-video movies being churned out today, HtD actually has some decent production standards. Cheap, yes, but competent. The film has been correctly exposed and color-compensated. The audio levels and re-recording are quite acceptable. There are no artsy-fartsy camera angles or unnecessary CGI effects. It is simply a better-produced movie than most of the dreck out there today.And it is a hoot! Either you get it, or you don't. Highly-recommended for nekkid-wimmen-in-slasher-films fans.

"Hard to Die" is an entertaining action film without a whole lot of slasher elements.**SPOILERS**Arriving at a high rise, Dawn Grant, (Gail Harris) Tess Cochran, (Melissa Moore) Jackie Webster, (Deborah Dutch) Shayna Harby, (Bridget Carney) and Diana, (Karen Mayo-Chandler) are sent off to do inventory for a lingerie company in the building. While sorting through the boxes, they mistakenly receive a package and open it, which causes a malicious spirit to be unleashed. Thinking nothing of it, they get back to work when a thunderstorm traps them inside. When they start to get worried when the others go off on their own, they realize that a serial killer is loose inside with them. Realizing that the killer is the spirit of an executed serial killer from years ago seeking revenge on a building employee, they try to fight off the madman.The Good News: This one is a rather entertaining action film. This one has plenty of big action scenes, mostly revolved around gunfights and at the end. In fact, the final half-hour is for the most part one extended gunfight with the participants changing for each one. This one goes all over the building, through several different floors and manages to get a lot of property destroyed and shot-up, which is fun to see. When the supernatural elements come into play and they become nearly impossible to gun down, the sight of seeing all the bodies being torn up with the bullet-fire is a thing of beauty in a horror film, and with the constantly changing locations where it takes place, and it adds to the cheesy fun. Of course, the sight of seeing incredibly gorgeous women in lingerie shooting off machine guns doesn't do much to hurt them, either. The fact that this leads into the film's other big plus, it's fun and cheese together make it a really fun experience. Beyond the film's big action scenes and it's individual moments, there's plenty of these elements to make it all-around fun and exciting. That also extends over into the film's high amount of nudity, which are featured throughout the film. From the nearly unnecessary shower scenes for all of them to the trying on the lingerie within the film, there's a pretty healthy amount featured in the film and it makes the film feel a little more cheesy. When it moves away from the cheese, this one does have a few good suspense moments. The time when the lights go out due to the thunderstorm is great, since it happens during the time when the realization first occurs. It makes the walk-through of the building to safety all the creepier since there's the fact that it doesn't know whether or not the killer will come out. The play with the shadows is used nicely here, and it makes the building take on a whole new light, even when there's familiarity. The later stalking scenes with the machine guns work out just as well, and are just as good. These here are the film's best points.The Bad News: There isn't a whole lot wrong with the film. The fact that, watching this as a slasher, there's a few flaws that sprout up. The body count is ridiculously low, with only a few deaths actually transpiring throughout. Never mind that they're really bland kills, being done in the shadows, but the fact that there's only a couple of them makes the film feel really dry. The lack of blood, except for the gunshot wounds, is also something most slashers wouldn't do. The fact that they don't even begin until the film's halfway over is something else to take up, since by then there's a few spread throughout to keep the entertainment, but this one only offers up a few kills towards the end that are quite lackluster. The really flimsy excuse for getting them together really could've been worked out more, and there could've been an excuse for getting more there to stalk-and-slash. The film's other big flaw is that there's really no explanation for why the gunfights at the end to be as they are. It's established that they're supernatural, but there's nothing done about why they can withstand the punishment against them. That would've made it even more thrilling than just seeing them get up time-and-time again after being torn up with bullets. Otherwise, these here are all that harm the film.The Final Verdict: Without too much slasher elements, it's hard to really classify it as such, though this is still an incredibly fun adventure. This is really recommended to those who enjoy the cheesy kind of films or in the mood for an action-packed extravaganza, though those who don't appreciate these kinds might not enjoy it as much.Rated R: Violence, Full Nudity and Language

(*1/2 out of *****) In a cross between Die Hard and the Slumber Party Massacre (and Sorority House Massacre) movies, a deadly spirit is released into a high-rise office building while a group of pretty female co-workers who work for the ACME Lingerie Company are staying late doing inventory on one of the upper floors (as well as showering and trying on the merchandise). As in Sorority House Massacre II (which was filmed and released roughly the same time as this one and which, with the exception of the building setting, basically follows the same plot), one of the girls becomes possessed by the demon and starts butchering her scantily-clad friends before they even get the chance to have a pillow fight. Luckily, the remaining gals find a crate full of automatic weapons and, next thing you know, bullets are flying, blood is splattering, and breasts are bouncing. I won't lie to you, T&A can often carry an otherwise lousy movie a long way, but that's hardly the case with this one (still, I went ahead and gave this turkey an extra half-star solely for its wall-to-wall display of frilly teddies and lace panties.) Orville Ketchum (as `Himself') appears as the same character he plays in SHMII, and he even narrates a near-identical flashback sequence lifted from the original Slumber Party Massacre. As a testament to the bad writing and Wynorski's equally bad direction, the tiresome and ridiculously indestructible Ketchum pops up around corners every three or four minutes and just stands there looking stupid -- a very bad idea. Seriously, he's one of the most annoying characters in B-movie history, and if he's meant to provide comic relief, it doesn't work. Joe Bob Briggs `LOVED' this movie, and it admittedly does have its charm, but not enough of it to cover up the wretched acting, writing, and directing. Low-budget and horror movie cameo king Forrest J. Ackerman has a lengthy role as Dr. Ed Newton, who sits in his office the whole time. The back of the video box shows pictures of scenes from an entirely different movie. Wynorski has the honor of being responsible for some of the worst drek the slasher genre has to offer.Lowlight: The death scenes are laughably staged -- one girl gets pulled off-camera from behind by somebody with a hook, and then an obvious bucket-full of fake blood is splattered against a concrete wall. Stupid, stupid stuff.