Fangs of the Living Dead (1973)

Sylvia Morel (Anita Ekberg), a famous model, inherits an Italian castle. When she gets there, she finds it inhabited by her strange uncle (Julian Ugarte) and a bevy of women who Sylvia suspects of being vampires. They are, of course, and the uncle is their leader. The uncle delivers lines like, "Veneration of the dead indicates our preoccupation with the living." (Hey, don't ask me.) And his facial hair is among the silliest-looking I've ever seen. Couldn't tell you if it's real or fake, though.Every possible Gothic cliché is in this film. The score is permeated with "spooky castle" organ music. The acting is mostly mediocre, though Ekberg is passable in her dual roles as both Sylvia and Malenka (her slayed vampire grandma). Unfortunately, Ekberg is not very well-dubbed--though, for most part, the dubbing is done reasonably well.When a stake is driven through the uncle's heart, he rapidly ages via lap dissolves in which he looks like an old man with Silly Putty on his face. There's also an intense catfight between two hot female vampires, which I'm guessing is the whole reason this film was made. There are some genuinely (and intentionally) humorous moments. In one scene, a vampire named Glinka tries in vain to convince a young Italian bachelor that she is, in fact, a vampire. When she bites his neck, he bursts out laughing, saying it tickles. (It plays out funnier than I've described it.) At the very end, we see the bachelor, now a vampire himself, chasing a young barmaid—in the middle of the day, while the sun shines brightly.FANGS OF THE LIVING DEAD has its problems, but it was refreshing to see a film in which the vampires were evil and creepy, not sexy and hip. And it's a whole lot better than FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA'S BRAM STOKER'S Dracula: LOVE NEVER DIES.

For feck's sake! I wasn't totally impressed with Ossario's Blind Dead films (the two that I've watched anyway), but I was willing to give him another chance with this vampire film, and it sucks! And that wasn't a pun! Anita Ekberg is excited to receive a letter from her Uncle declaring her a Countess following the distribution of her mother's estate. She heads of for the creepy castle these folk live in but soon finds out that there's a slight caveat about her new role in society. Namely that of everyone in the castle being a vampire...and boring vampires to boot!Vampires! Please note - when giving your non-vampire niece a tour of your crypt, please try not to use sentences like "This one in here is REALLY dead" because it just draws suspicion and when you don't answer any subsequent questions it just makes you look guilty. Long story short Anita's going to be the new head vampire if they can just get her turned. Her fiancé and his mate turn up to stir things up a bit and most of the chicks run around with plenty cleavage on display and then the Uncle turns a local barmaid into a vampire and the first thing she does is turn up at his front door and start nagging him and then some other crap happens but this film is boring as hell and not worth your time. It's kind of like Polanski's Fearless Vampire Killers (I didn't like that either). Maybe I'm not the best judge of vampire films to be honest. I don't really like them.

Amando de Ossorio was one of the great directors of Spanish horror, and this film, also known as Malenka, occurs when he was really hitting this stride.There are reportedly three versions of this film, and this one is the best. It is a beautiful print, and we see Swedish star Anita Ekberg (La Dolce Vita, Boccaccio '70, Killer Nun) in all her beauty.It is a campy film, so there is no nudity or blood here. Despite the buxom women throughout, it is harmless fun.Sometimes a vampire movie is more than blood and nudity. Sometimes, it's just a great way to kill 75 minutes.

I viewed the 90 minute version, "Malenka, the Niece of the Vampire," and checked all the other comments before deciding to make a few observations of my own. There is precious little atmosphere in this film, Anita Ekberg's character does indeed come off as annoying, engendering no sympathy. It seems to me that Malenka was neither witch nor vampire, but an alchemist who died at the stake, but not before successfully prolonging the life of Anita Ekberg's 'uncle.' The girl in the castle and the one from the tavern were only pretending to be vampires, as we see the latter installing her fangs in a tiny compact mirror, and neither are seen after the fiery demise of the 'uncle,' disintegrating simultaneously with the burning portrait. In the 74 minute TV version, titled "Fangs of the Living Dead," there is a gag ending not seen in the longer print, Rosanna Yanni, sister of the tavern girl, being chased by the dizzy friend of Anita's doctor fiancée, sporting a set of fangs. What appears to be a clichéd retread winds up being a huge disappointment, with no vampires, only one real villain, no sex or nudity, no real violence or gore, and leaving a bad yawn in one's mouth. I first saw this film on Pittsburgh's Chiller Theater back in 1978, alongside superior Spanish horrors such as "The Murder Mansion," "Horror Rises from the Tomb," "The Bell from Hell," "It Happened at Nightmare Inn," and "The Night of the Sorcerers," another credit for Amando de Ossorio, who wrote and directed "Malenka." Such features became cherished friends for long-time horror buffs like me, but now we are able to see them in all their uncut gory glory, with nudity intact. In this case entire sequences were missing from the Chiller Theater broadcast (all expendable exposition, as indeed the entire film turned out to be), and today you see what was missing and judge for yourself. Only the gag at the end, running about a minute and a half, remained exclusive to the TV version, plus one scene depicting the burial of the phony vampire Berthe, whose name is prominently displayed on the tombstone.