Thirst (2010)

This is a fairly cut and dry story. Two young couples go into a remote part of the desert to shoot photos of Mercedes McNab in a bikini and most of them don't make it out. Noelle (Lacey Chabert) is moody because she has morning sickness and is having second thoughts about the maturity of her boyfriend. She reminded me too much of my ex and I wanted her to shut up and die, while Mercedes reminded me of the woman I will only dream about. The film is compared to "Open Water" and indeed it is just as boring. This is a ninety minute movie that should take you 30 minutes to watch. We simply don't see enough of Mercedes McNab to save the film.No sex or nudity.

The right decision would have been to backtrack at the point where the vehicle left the road. Why head elsewhere to unknown territory when all they had to do was keep walking on the road until hopefully a vehicle would show up? Then again, there would be no movie and all the suspense. I watched the movie and did enjoy it but after even one day hunger starts to set in and with the intense heat and no proper attire e.g. the women then would have been sunburned and totally exhausted. Doubt that the baby would have survived under those conditions. Where was the movie filmed as the area was so desolate and scary? It was risky for Noelle to attempt what she did on Jennifer when there was no medicine or sanitary conditions available. That was not believable.

Oh, my. Where to begin? Lacey Chabert is not only the star of this movie but is listed as one of the executive producers as well. That leads me to surmise that this film was intended, at least in part, to showcase Lacey's talents and get Hollywood to view her as a serious actress. If so, the effort backfires.In order for this premise (stuck in the middle of a desert with very few provisions) to work at all the characters have to make some pretty stupid mistakes. And our characters do. Driving 80 miles into the desert without any sort of backup plan in case of car trouble is, in fact, beyond stupid. As the movie and the stupid decisions continue it becomes increasingly hard to either believe the story or feel any sympathy for the characters.Thank God for Noelle (the lovely Lacey)! She is cast as a Captain Kirk here, keeping her cool while the others around her are losing theirs. But her hero status is all too clearly a plot device, again, to showcase her "talents." At one point Lacey performs emergency brain surgery using s screwdriver and a rock. I kid you not! She can do this, but she isn't smart enough to realize they should travel at night and stick to the road!As a person who rarely laughs out loud even at things that are supposed to be funny, I actually found myself laughing out loud at some of the plot twists. (Did someone mention breast implants?) Of course, the movie also has to show us several "gross out" scenes for seemingly no other purpose than to get some junior high viewers to say "Oh! Gross!" Not only do we get to watch characters drink their own urine, we have to watch them take in every last drop. "Ewwww! Gross!"Need I say more? This is a really bad movie with only one redeeming feature: The lovely Lacey Chabert who I have always liked in the past. "Thirst", however, is probably the biggest misstep in Lacey's career.

Watch this if...there are no other viable options for a struggle and survival movie. They are many better crafted and acted movies surrounding this theme available before you get to this point.Acting/Casting: 3* - This grade should be expected considering Chabert is your headliner. She is a beautiful specimen and that is her strongest/carrying asset. Brandon Quinn is downright aggravating at times and difficult to watch. Again, this is no surprise going into the movie.Directing/Cinematography/Technical: 5* - The setting is nice and the desert is convincing. While the overall directing isn't great, I feel that you do actually get a bit of the despair that these individuals are experiencing. This is also no surprise considering Lando is an aspiring B-movie director.Plot/Characters: 5* - The plot is nothing new, but survival is always an intriguing theme. If you watch the movie, you will note that there are a few questionable areas in the film. With a plot like this one, you really have to have some solid acting and directing to make it worthwhile.Entertainment Value: 3* - The acting coupled with the fact that there are a few moments that noticeably drag, really diminish the entertainment value of the movie. I have seen worse, but I have seen many better. One watch is enough and probably too much.My Score: 3+5+5+3 = 16/4 = 4.0Email your thoughts to [email protected]