The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox (1976)

Released in 1976 and directed by Melvin Frank, "The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox" is a Western/Comedy starring Goldie Hawn (the Duchess) and George Segal (the Dirtwater Fox). The former is actually a saloon entertainer/prostitute who desperately wants to move on to better things and masquerades as a Duchess to do so while the latter is a scammer-gambler desperately trying to steal & retain $40,000. The two reluctantly team-up while being chased by various people, including outlaws, police and a group of Mormons. Then, without warning, romantic sparks start to fly.A lot of people have mixed feelings about this flick, but I've always felt it was one of the better comedic Westerns. Goldie was 30 during filming and Segal was 41 and they both shine as the protagonists. Some critics complain that they're "lowlifes" and therefore it's hard to care about them, but it's clear that the "Duchess" is willing to risk it all to escape the life of a prostitute. As for the Fox, yes, he's a greedy gambler, but he has a likable charisma and an unshakable faith in overcoming no matter the odds. Hopefully, he'll repent of his swindling ways. While Goldie looks great, she's too thin in my opinion and would get more beautiful (and curvy) with age, as witnessed in 1987's "Overboard." Besides the two stars, highlights include the consistently amusing situations & witty dialogues (especially the great pig-Latin scene in the stagecoach), the awesome Colorado locations, an outstanding stagecoach wreck off a high cliff and Dirtwater's intelligent (and funny) horse, Blackjack, who's one of the better horse-characters in cinema. The film runs 103 minutes and was shot entirely in Colorado (the Central City region).GRADE: Borderline A- or B+

Goldie Hawn's recurring go-go dancer character on 'Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In' was quite possibly the reason for her casting as the Blueberry of Billingsgate in this bawdy Seventies flick. Goldie lets it all hang out here if you know what I mean, as long as you don't touch her plums. Her eventual partner in crime for this comedic Western is George Segal, putting the dirt in Dirtwater Fox as an all around con man and enterprising card shark. After helping the notorious Bloodworth gang hold up the town bank of Dirtwater, he helps himself to the loot in question, a forty thousand dollar stash that's at the center of this caper film.Blueberry makes the transition to the Duchess of Swansbury after grabbing a handful of Charlie Molloy's (Segal) loot, fitting herself out with a fashionable outfit from a showroom window. For 1882, sixty five dollars seemed like an awful lot of money for a dress suit, but then again it was imported, so who knows? For the record, she filled it out very well.The film careens it's way through assorted scenarios involving a lecherous Mormon family head and the Bloodworth's hot on the trail of their stolen money. The picture's funniest segment is probably the stagecoach conversation between Charlie and the Duchess done in a combination of pidgin English, French and German in a non-sensical jumble, which for all it's goofiness is easy enough to understand.The unheralded star of the picture of course is Charlie Molloy's horse Black Jack who for some reason didn't earn a cast credit for this picture, unlike his predecessors Trigger and Silver. B Western movie cowboy Allan 'Rocky' Lane also rode a horse in his pictures named Black Jack, and when his on screen career was over, Lane became the voice of TV's talking horse Mr. Ed. However Mr. Ed and Lane's Black Jack never had a lucky number '21' emblazoned on his rump like Charlie's horse did.

I liked this movie. It is a bit dated and it does lose the thread a bit at times, but generally is funny and spontaneous. I really wondered if some of the humor was unplanned. For example, when the Fox turns the corner on his horse and falls off. It really looks like this wasn't in the original script but it happened anyway. I particularly liked the song Don't touch my plums and especially when Goldie sings it to the Mormon family. Goldie Hawn is at her finest and suits the role she is playing. Watch it when you want to smile or need cheering up and don't want to think too deeply! We watched this by accident on TV last night and I managed to stay awake all the way through (ask my husband, that's amazing!)

Saw this in the theaters when I was like 10. I snuck in after watching The Bad News Bears I think, and even then I knew this movie stunk. Watching it now coincidentally on the same day I pay my cable bill is like soap in my eye. I've asked this question many times, but What were people thinking back then? I mean how can you even throw a movie like this together? Don't the performers and producers know how bad it is? Maybe this is the kind of stuff you learn only after you die. As viewing films like this brings me ever nearer to death, perhaps I haven't long to wait. One final note, this film's movie poster contains a startling example of sexual subliminal placement. Check it out, if you glance quickly, or stare at it long enough, Goldies elbow is actually photographed for your brain to see a bare b***t. But the movie still stinks.