Teen Beach Movie (2013)

If you want to watch this movie, go watch it before reading this, because miner spoilers. This movie is a highlight to why i HATE Disney channel. Disney has shown its best like Zootopia and gravity falls, so we expect more than cashing out little kids from terrible crap like this. It uses its setting as an excuse for why its so lazily executed. Oh, beach movies have random songs that appear for no reason, Why not this have random songs. Oh, beach movies have dumb plots that make no sense, why not this make no sense. Oh, these movies where made in the 1980's, why cant this have 1980's graphic. It doesn't justify the terribleness and laziness of the movie. Why cant i have a story take place in lets say the 1650s, and have it defy science, because in the 1650s they didn't have science. Its the same with this movie. In a certain scene (again Spoilers), they tell this scientist that hes in a movie. He responds with "Really? i find this interesting!" NO! this is just a beach movie with an unimportant subplot. this isn't expect able. Disney makes masterpieces, but recently, it feels like the masterpieces are largely outnumbered by the cash-grab thing Disney tries to get away with. The actually movie they are sucked in seems more interesting alone without the dumb subplot. none of the characters in the movie are at all relatable or like-able, none of the scenes are even good. it was intentional made in a terrible movie, just to be even worse and be finished in like a few minutes of special effects and like two or three takes for each scene.

If you liked the 60's beach movies, Grease and HSM, you might like this too.Reviewers who want character development, award winning acting and such should lighten up! This is a spoof of the corny, tongue in cheek "Beach" movies of the 60's.My 7 year old daughter loved the dancing and musical numbers, as did I. It's very corny, the music and dance numbers were surprisingly good. The wardrobe and hair were exactly as goofy as kid might see them if they saw the 60's films now.It's a fun, entertaining, corny (get it), harmless film....watch it, expect nothing, enjoy it for what is!!

When I first heard about this movie, the first half of Austin & Ally Season one was pretty much finished, and I thought Disney was just milking Ross Lynch's fame for another "High School Musical" sequel. Thank God my earlier perceptions turned out to be false. Instead, this DCOM spoofed early-1960's Beach Party flicks, the kinds of movies that came out before the majority of Disney Channel viewers were ever born, and that were on the verge of decline when I was born. So while I naturally was concerned that the intended audience may not get it and would only be interested in it because of Lynch, I still realized this was going to be as corny as all hell, and I was proved right. For the record, yes kids; these movies did have ridiculous cartoon villains like Les Camembert and Dr. Fusion and characters with corny names like "Giggles," and battles between surfers and biker gangs with ridiculous names like "The Rodents," who spoke in 1930's Lower East Side white gangster dialects, even though none of the gang members have ever been east of Arizona.Brady (Lynch) and MacKenzie (Maia Mitchell) are a contemporary California surfing boyfriend and girlfriend who are having a fun summer and are anticipating the ultimate waves, even as she anticipates and dreads a potential prep school trip that may end their relationship. When Brady isn't surfing, one of the things he likes to do is watch an early-1960's beach party movie called "Wet Side Story," which is obviously "West Side Story" moved to the west coast. Brady and MacKenzie's grandfather(Barry Bostwick) love the movie in spite of the corniness of it and others like it, while Mac herself ridicules the whole thing. I love her general attitude towards it throughout most of the movie.When Brady and Mac's grandpa notice a storm coming, Brady tries to rescue her, but they both wipe out and end up in his favorite movie. They catch the cast performing the opening theme "Surf Crazy," and Brady is more than eager to join in while Mac's REALLY not into it. After the theme, the surfers hang out at a local beach bar & grille called "Big Momma's" and that local biker gang I mentioned earlier barges in and wants to take it over. The leader of this gang is named Butchy (John DeLuca), and his way of telling the surfers how things are going to go down is done in the form of a song. Brady sees Butchy and his gang perform the song "Cruzin' for a Bruzin'" then jumps in and completely takes it over, and nobody questions it. Actually, I'd go so far as to say it's Ross himself taking over, because I almost could swear he broke character the same way Charlie Chaplin did at the end of "The Great Dictator." Again, the movie is a west-coast surfing version of "West Side Story," so it involves the head surfer (Garrett Clayton) and the sister of the leader of the pack (Grace Phipps) falling in love during a musical number. But while the two real life lovers are arguing about how to get out of the movie, they end up falling into the arms of the characters in the movie, and completely change the whole thing. Both now realize they're in deep doo-doo and have to change everything back to the way it was.Later on, they find the evil villains working in an abandoned lighthouse. where a real estate tycoon (Steve Valentine), and a mad scientist (Kevin Chamberlin) are using a weather machine to screw up the beach so they can take it over and build a resort hotel. "And this thing never won an Oscar." Oh, Maia, you have the best lines. Of course, Brady and Mac spend much of the movie trying to get the two fictional star-crossed lovers back together with little success. Mac is invited to the Rodent girls slumber party, and as they're all dressing up for their boyfriends, she introduces them to a new concept; Asking the guy you like out yourself. Brady also tries to hang out with the surfers to talk Tanner into not letting the fact that Lela's a biker-girl keep him from going out with her. This sets up another musical number that's some have described as being reminiscent of "Grease" which is a little disturbing, but it still plays up how phony the whole scene is, especially during the bridge of the song. As for me, I'm more into girls who look like Mac... before they gave her the biker-girl makeover.As if it doesn't get far-fetched enough for our heroine, she suddenly realizes the movie itself is forcing her to sing a song. "Can't Stop Singing" is one of the highlights of the movie reflecting how ridiculous the whole thing is. This is one of the points I think many detractors are missing. It's not meant to be "Citizen Kane," "To Kill a Mockingbird," or "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," and like the kinds of movies it's making fun of, none of them really were. While not without flaws of it's own, it's just a fun TV movie that happens to be a loving parody of a genre of movies that were around before cable TV existed. So don't fret. Just see it for what it is.

Oh no, Disney Channel did it now. This time, they took the clichéd beach movie idea about bikers and surfers. Terrific, now I have a new thing to criticize!!! Yes, the concept has worked well in many olden movies throughout the years. However, last time I checked, the date was not 1955, and that the Soviet Union has apparently disbanded. So yeah, that era has ended rather abruptly. Before I comment any further, however, let's give them some credit. They finally decided to parody movie ideas, instead of simply robbing the heck out of them, which is a good step. However, the next step they made ended with the entire ground breaking in half and my hope for humanity being burned by Earth's iron core. That is, on the fact of the main problem. My trouble is how stereotypical DC always makes their teen characters, which seems to be dramatically overused in this film. I mean, COME ON!!! "TEEN Beach Movie"?! I can't name one teen that would step three toes into the same room as the movie. But I did, so I'd better take that comment back. The problem is that the target audience is clearly teenagers, which they fail miserably at. Oh, why this movie surpassed "Teacher's Pet" in ratings will be a lifelong mystery.