Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)

Ummm. Errrr. Uhhh. Okay, so I only kept watching to see how Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Paul DeAngelo would do at reprising their roles. Sadly, for them and everyone else in the film, they were stuck in a pile of crap so deep their talents couldn't shine through anywhere. Tiersten, who was a standout in the original and seemed to have natural acting chops, has nothing to go on. What was Hiltzik thinking? Our hero of the first film has grown up to be an obnoxious backhoe operator with a bad attitude and the apparent IQ of a mosquito? Huh? That actually describes everyone in the film: obnoxious and stupid. There's not a hint of character development. Everyone is so unlikable, you want them to get killed off as soon as they make their initial appearance. They're loud, can't stop screaming, personality conflicts to the hilt. The only saving grace would have been if Teirsten's clothes fell off somewhere along the way. But no! LOL. Seriously. It's like watching a train wreck in slo-mo. If there was an "in" joke, it flew over my head by a mile.And what was that last, post-credit scene supposed to be? Jeez, Louise. Why?Hiltzik, please, we know there's talent there. Make another film ASAP and be redeemed!

Wow, okay, I got Sleep Away Camp via netflix and felt minutes of my life wither away.. I sat in utter shock that I made it through that entire DVD sack of crap. However, I decided I would try and watch Return To Sleep Away Camp considering it was made in 2008 (figured time, advancement in technology and what not) would make it better.. Um, nope. I feel Like Alan (the mentally challenged kid in this flick that you just want to die).. I feel like the directors and producers just made fun of me through this whole flick.. The acting is putrid! And every one of the characters you want dead as soon as they speak or even appear on the screen.. I think the best acting came from the frogs in the woods..The movie offers nothing.. It offers no scares, the directing is a joke, the entire plot is so laughable. I mean come on, what camp anywhere in the United States has counselors who help torture mentally handicapped campers? They all help beat him, make fun of him and route the other campers on to torture him.. The other counselors stand around and laugh at him..There is a cop that for some reason they found necessary to have lost his larynx to cancer and has to speak via some kind of machine (like the character in south park) but it is SO annoying you hope the cop gets his head blown off instantly. And, this cop is such a good cop he does no investigations in to the disappearance of a cook and a camper, the counselor is fried to death is a huge vile of boiling grease, and a camper has gasoline pumped in to his stomach and he is set on fire.. apparently no evidence of any kind is left in either of these murders, even though the camper blew to pieces. It is just so bad, I am not sure how anyone could say this is good? And, as much as you hate Alan, he falls for everything time after time after time, and you just want him dead.The acting is just so God Awful I don't even know what else to write.. Just please save your life and don't watch this horrible flick...

This was one I was really looking forward to seeing. It felt like it took years for it to be made and released. So when it was available to purchase I bought it at full price not knowing what a disappointment it would be. The plot follows the basic "kids are at camp when a bunch of murders occur" storyline. Fans of the original know the backstory of Angela so I won't go into that, but if you don't; it's probably a good idea to familiarize yourself with the 1983 film. This sequel does something I hate which is it completely ignores Sleepaway Camp 2 and 3. We are supposed to forget those late eighties sequels which involved Angela escaping and becoming a counsellor killing a bunch of teenagers. By not bringing up the incidents that took place in these movies left me a little confused, but I'll move on from that negative. The next problem I have with this is the "lead" character Alan. What an annoying human being. He bullies other kids and then whines like a baby when he gets bullied or other camp counsellors tell him to stop. The constant whining, screaming and cursing was driving me nuts by the twenty minute mark. Now I loved the fact that Ricky in the original cussed like no other, but it's WAY overdone in this by Alan. And the acting by pretty much everyone involved is some of the worst I've seen since Troll 2. What I found in this movie after seeing the original was that a lot of these new characters emulated characters from the original. There is Alan who is supposed to be a mix of Angela and Ricky, a character named Pee-Pee (I know right?) acts a lot like a shy Angela, there is even a nasty chef who gets scalded by boiling water. There are other parallels as well. Other cons are the music, which is mostly terrible and adds no suspenseful effect to the scene like the original score did in 1983. And the juvenile writing is just annoying to sit through. Some of the things the teens say and do is supposed to be funny but just leaves a bad taste in the viewers mouth, especially when the same joke is repeated over and over again.I've been down on Return to Sleepaway Camp so far, and rightfully so; it isn't very good. BUT the ending definitely saves it from being a total letdown. The last half hour is jam packed with murder and mayhem. And some of the gore is pretty shocking and well done. Also, I liked the added mystery of trying to find out who the killer is (even if I thought the identity of the killer was a bit lame). And I loved seeing some of the original cast and characters return like Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten), Ronnie (Paul DeAngelo) and a "cameo" by Felicia Rose who played the original Angela Baker.Overall, this movie is all over the place. It's almost as if Return to Sleepaway Camp has an identity crisis. The first SC was scary. Parts 2-3 were funny. This one tries to be a bit of both and, except for a good thirty minutes of scares, doesn't do well at either.4/10

After watching this movie I can now confirm 100% without a doubt that there is no God. Seriously, I wish I had the option of giving this movie a negative 10. There were absolutely no likable characters and I wished everyone would die horrible gruesome deaths, especially Allen. Where were these actors hired? How old were these kids supposed to be cause the skinny nerd looked 10 but apparently he was 20 at the time of the filming. I hate the way that it ended as well. There wasn't enough gore or suspense for my taste. This movie is just a waste of time. I am a HUGE fan of cheesy horror flicks but this was a tremendous letdown. Please, I beg of you, do not subject anyone you love to this horrendous piece of s*!t they call a horror movie.