Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen (1981)

This attempt to update Charlie Chan to the 1980s and give him a comic bent is highly uneven: there is a load of misplaced, unfunny slapstick in it, and some big names in the cast are terribly wasted. I am a fan of Peter Ustinov (who made this in between my two favorite Poirots) and he is delightful here, but he almost seems like a supporting actor in his own movie; too much of the screen time goes to the ineffectual Richard Hatch as his "number one grandson" (Brian Keith is also very annoying as a loudmouthed police chief). The film is more successful when it sticks closer to the spirit of the original Chan films: I am referring to the b&w flashback sequence and the "clue of the fork in the tea cup", as well as the climactic gathering of the suspects for the unmasking of the "Bizarre Killer", who is, indeed, rather well-camouflaged. But as a comedy, it has very few laughs; for a funnier take on a Charlie Chan-type of detective, see "Murder By Death". ** out of 4.

The short version: If you want to turn the sound off and look at Michelle Pfeiffer at some of her her dead sexiest shots, I'd give it a B. If not, it's a straight F, and I'm not talking the 59% kind of F--I'm talking the 0% kind of F.The long version: Waaaahooooo. Words fail me. I had to look long and hard to find a redeeming aspect of this movie, and the sole item I came up with is the casting of Ustinov as Chan. My girlfriend is a die-hard Charlie Chan fan and she was dozing blissfully halfway through.Writing: Did this picture even have writers? You know the game on Whose Line Is It Anyway where they all improvise a scene or musical on the spot? This entire movie seemed like that, as if they all loaded up on blow and improvised their over-the-top dialogue and gestures. If you repackaged "Rat Race" and called it a mystery, this might be what you'd end up with.Casting: This movie is a career low for virtually everyone in it. To outdo the miscasting in this flick, you'd have to have John Leguizamo as Moses. Richard Hatch in a Jerry-Lewis-type capacity simply doesn't work, especially after you've watched "Battlestar Galactica". Brian Keith's role as a cop with Tourettes makes his Hardcastle and McCormick days look like Oscar material. Why have Angie Dickinson even involved if you're not going to exploit her good looks? They could just as easily have used Cloris Leachman.I thought I'd seen the worst movie ever made after "Batman and Robin", but I may be rethinking that now. This flick was a pointless fart grenade.

I loved this film the first time I saw it. I am a big fan of Richard Hatch and Roddy Mcdowall. The rest of the cast is also great in their role. I enjoyed the music throughout the film. It was classical music at it's best. There is nothing more important to make a film flow than music. I also enjoyed the acting by all parties. Richard Hatch was perfect as the bumbling son and Michelle Pfeiffer was perfect as his bumbling girlfriend. I also think Peter Ustinov was perfect to play Chan. I also love Brian Keith, but the profanity he used was the only thing that I did not like. There was no need for it. I think the spoofing of the old films worked here and was not meant to degrade the old films, but pay tribute to them. There are so many funny bits in the film that I cannot understand how anyone could not be entertained by it. The final scene as they take away the murder is great. They add a final joke before the screen goes dark. I laugh every time I see it. I won't ruin it by giving it away. The joke is on the back of the police car after the car with Richard Hatch and Michelle Pfeiffer leaves. Their car sets up the joke for the second car.

If the A.F.I. decides to vote on the 100 best kisses in American Film, they have to put Richard Hatch's and Michelle Pfeiffer's kiss in the top ten. Not only are we talking tung, but a 45 second smooch that makes the viewers laugh as well as cry. Fast forward to this scene first, the rest of the film can wait.