The Keeper (2004)

I just registered here now, having been using IMDb for film info's and reviews for many years now. The reason: this film is one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life.It pains me to register only to post on a film like this. The fact is this film is proof that a fine actor can be reduced to something beyond mediocrity. Dennis Hopper is an actor who has provided wonderful performances in so many films, but in this film he seeks to a new low, and my respect of him, as an actor, has sunk markedly.Not one single thing about this film is worth watching. The production values are sub par for even low budget made-for-TV-movies. The plot is about as inspiring as the last flush of my toilet. The characters are completely unbelievable. The acting was horrific. Normally, bad movies can at least find some redemption in being a B film, but this film is not even in the same league. The dialog, the behaviors, the lack of suspense, the utter predictability, the snoring pace-it just doesn't end-this movie made me felt like I was trapped in that cage. The characters illicit no sympathy whatsoever. One gains no insight into their motives, other than the depiction of Hopper's characters past-which was delivered in such a lackluster way that it could not have convinced a born-again believer.I have often read others describing wasted hours of their lives. I always had little sympathy for such comments. But this film finally helped me gain insight into such comments. I wish I could take back the 2 hours of my life that this despicable waste of time and resources, acting talent, film material, and wages represents. Those who participated in this film should be ashamed of what they were a part of and I hope that Dennis Hopper can wipe the stench off his hands for his part in it.AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH what a horrible film!

I have seen so many bad movies lately it's unreal and i'm not as picky as some people seem to be.I had never heard of this film but it sounded OK when i read the description of it. Some people complained it was copying a movie called the collector which i haven't seen.I don't judge a movie on it being similar to another one anyhow. I actually really enjoyed this film.I really liked Dennis Hopper as the sinister and psychotic sheriff.He was completely off the wall.His chilling performance made me think that something like that could actually happen and nobody would ever know.He was wonderful as someone so twisted and deranged one minute, and then so innocent and trustworthy the next.To be honest I didn't like how it started out because I thought the beginning was too rushed.All you see is some exotic dancer being driven to work by some guy and it wasn't really obvious it was her boyfriend(like the description claimed) as he was more interested in the money she was making then her.Also I thought since she was a stripper it could have at least shown her get naked on stage other then just showing her for a few seconds dancing in a flashy revealing dress and then just skipping to another scene.I don't have a problem if a movie uses nudity if done tastefully.She was a stripper for Chrissake's so it would make sense them showing this for storyline reasons and to make it seem more real and believable.After that then show her saying goodnight to a few friends and the bouncer for continuity.The next scene between her and her boyfriend was pathetic.They had no chemistry and both their characters were not well established.It would have made more sense if he were just a sleazy guy she picked up at the club and took back to a motel room since his only intention was to rob her anyway.I mean what kind of partner would do that to the other!The other part I didn't like was the 2 of them being attacked and her boyfriend getting shot.Even at the end of the movie when the guy in black was arrested there was no motive and the reason was never explored.It made no sense at all the 2 of them would have been attacked the way they were.Also I thought there was more then one attacker dressed all up in black so what happened to the others? I liked Helen Slater in it playing her bitchy role but was confused about how easily she got into the cop's house and her weird obsession for him came out of nowhere.This should have also been explained better unless their idea was to shock and surprise us by giving us no warning that she was as messed up in the head as he was.Oh well, besides that I enjoyed what happened next.It was unexpected and very well acted.From then on the movie got really intriguing.I really liked Asia Argento in the movie because she really nailed the part.She was so convincing in the role that her and Dennis really carried the movie and made it worth watching.I have seen other movies like this where a nut case is holding someone hostage against their will but I think each movie has it's own unique differences and this one was both hysterical( the deputy Rock puppet) and frightening.At times watching this movie I even felt claustrophobic and couldn't imagine being held captive that way by someone so disturbed. I noticed after looking further into this movie that it was a Canadian/UK film and filmed entirely in Victoria BC in Canada.I don't get how time and time again so many damn Canadian movies always seem to be based in American cities when their really not.What is so wrong about these movies actually being based in a Canadian city instead or at the very least the city or town it's actually filmed in.I mean I get it if it's an American film because our cities have forever passed for American ones but when the film itself is Canadian I find it insulting especially when there is no effort hiding the fact it's not the American city they claim it is because of everything you see in the background. Oh well that said I still gave the movie an 8 out of 10 anyhow because I found it enjoyable minus it's few faults and could watch it again.There are far worse movies out there and I wish people would give this one a chance and enjoy it for what it is instead of comparing it to all the other ones which are similar.I also wanted to mention I loved the song at the end of the movie "save me" sung by a group called "fightclub".I have never heard of them but would like to hear more music by them.I hope whoever they are they have a CD out there as well,i'd like to hear it!

Gerald Sanford, the writer, has given us a story about an unhinged officer of the law (Hopper) who kidnaps a rootless crime victim (Argento) and keeps her in a cell in his basement, where she must earn "points" to gain privileges. So far, nothing much original. "The Collector" had more going for it.But the script has Dennis Hopper delivering a couple of lectures to his prisoner which he pulls off with panache although, in fact, the logic is as twisted as Hopper's character. I wish I could repeat all of them verbatim but they go something like this.Hopper gives Argento breakfast and she dashes it through the bars of her cage onto the floor. When Hopper returns from work, he sees a rat nibbling at the breakfast. He blows the rats brains out. Then, in a patient but annoyed tone of voice, he asks her rhetorically: "Now, look what you've done. I make you a nice breakfast. You throw it away. A rat starts eating it. I blow the rat away. Who's fault is THAT? Is it MY fault for fixing you the breakfast? I was being nice to you. Is it Mister RAT's fault for eating it? Absolutely not. It is all YOUR fault. And I'll bet you never gave a thought to Mr. Rat's family. The starving Mrs. Rat and the little baby Rats." Hopper explains all this as if it makes perfect sense, no more complicated than one plus one equals two.In another scene, later, he tells Argento that he has to testify at a friend's Internal Affairs hearing. The friend, Officer Burns, gave a speeding ticket to a black man who claimed that it was racism. "I know Officer Burns," he says, "and he hasn't got a prejudiced bone in his body. He's even got a Jewish wife. He might even be a Jew himself. 'Burns' could be short for 'Bernstein'." When he returns from the meeting, he tells Argento, "Well, aren't you going to ask me how my day went? After I testified the judge asked me what Burns' Jewish wife had to do with the speeding ticket. I told him that I had checked the speeders background and it turned out that in the past year alone, he'd had other speeding tickets. Three of them. And two were handed out by policemen of his OWN PERSUASION." I won't give any more examples, I think, because those are the ones that leap most readily to mind -- and I don't want to stroke out laughing.Hopper, as Sheriff Krebs, is older and chunkier than we're used to. He was my supporting player in "Blue Velvet." Not that, as an extra, I spoke to him but we exchanged glances that were charged with indecipherable meaning. His face has plumped out a bit, gotten wider, and with his shades he looks a bit like the elder Truman Capote. He seems to switch smoothly from raging maniac to socially responsible sheriff and back again as the situation requires. A kind of Krebs cycle. (If anybody gets THAT pun, let me know and I will send you a personal check for fifteen cents.)Asia Argento doesn't really look much like anyone else. Everything about her appearance, from her plump lips to her throaty Italian-accented voice, seems to radiate a kind of feral heat. The first thing she spends her earned "points" on is a shower, which she takes nude on screen. All women in R-rated movies take showers on screen at one point or another. And the showers are not merely instrumental but expressive too. The actresses close their eyes and smile and loll their heads around and soap up their breasts. Not that I mean to devalue the functionality of the act. It's reassuring to know that these girls are so terribly clean.There's some kind of sub plot involving Hopper playing with puppets and Helen Shaver wanting to turn him into Buffalo Bob or Kermit the Frog or something. Shaver discovers the captive and tries to blackmail Hopper into becoming her permanent lover. This is foolish of her. You do not blackmail Dennis Hopper. Shaver gives the best, most modulated performance.Well, the story's ridiculous, though tense enough to carry an undemanding viewer along for most of its length. There aren't really any surprises in it. It could have been written by a computer. But there are a few minor gems sprinkled about in the dialog.

The only reason to watch this badly written movie would be if you were a fan of either Helen Shaver (a great actress) or the legendary Dennis Hopper. If you desire to see these two together in a film, choose 'The Ostetrman Weekend', which is by far the better film. The basic story line is the prisoner wanting to escape the jailer. (similer to the much better 'Misery') Without going into too much detail so as not to spoil the plot (well, what plot there is), lets just say this is best avoided. There are millions of films out there to spend 90 minutes on, don't make it this one.