Hercules (1983)

What was that? Hercules (Lou Ferrigno) is a big man, like a King-Kong. In this stupid movie struggles against mechanical creature like a centaur or a fly. He is immortal and absolutely invincible and Minos cannot stop him.Zeus (Claudio Cassinelli) looks like Saint Nicolas in this funny show. His beard is so long and white :-).Immortals from Mount Olympus lives on the moon and Daedalus is a woman in this movie.Best scene: Hercules vs. Bear Very funny movie.

This is definitely such a "hey, WTF?!" bad movie, you wonder why it was ever made at all.For all the special effects, there's very little real money getting spent here - the poverty shows in the costumes and make up and virtually unadorned sound-stages, but primarily in the casting; not only are the actors and extras incapable of convincing performances, but there aren't enough of them! This is the most underpopulated version of the ancient world I've every seen.Although there are references to the actual Hercules myths, there is also a lot of loony rewriting of Greek mythology; apparently there's a point to it all - an attempt to comment on the conflicting universes of classical magic and the coming age of 'science,' which point reaches conclusion in the film's sequel. Unfortunately, the science is pretty bad; and the magic doesn't work so well either.For all that, there are moments of amusement throughout the film, the babes are hot, and the film did salvage the fond memories of the old Italian Hercules film cycles from getting completely lost. And one last point - when the Aussies decided to put together "Hercules: the Legendary Journeys" TV show, they actually used the visual style of the Ferrigno films as their reference, just playing it up for laughs.

The movie begins with nothing less than the creation of the world. In case you believed something else, now you know: the Earth was created from a broken jar, and the Greek gods lived on the Moon. Minos (William Berger) once stole the throne of Thebes, but the rightful heir, young prince Hercules, escaped after killing two electric snakes by short circuit (don't ask). Years later, Hercules (Lou "Hulk" Ferrigno) is back, so Minos sends clumsy metallic toys to kill Hercules. That doesn't work, either. The sorceress Circe takes Hercules all the way to Hell and back, so he can challenge Minos. Sybil Danning plays Minos' bad girl in this trash classic, while genre veteran Brad Harris appears as King Augeias. The actors became aware of what they'd gotten themselves into, obviously. Especially Claudio Cassinelli (as Zeus) and William Berger look like they'd burst into laughter as soon as director Cozzi shouted "cut". Cozzi's rendition of "Hercules" with Lou Ferrigno is so hilariously funny that no-one should miss it from his personal list of "10 worst movies of all time". A must-see for its neon lights disco effects, and a must-listen as well with its beeping electronic noises, and OTT symphonic music like poor man's John Williams meets Carlo Franci. A less entertaining sequel was produced entitled "The Adventures of Hercules".

Yes, it's awful. Mind-bendingly awful. But it's one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen, and well worth seeing for that reason, even if the hilarity is entirely unintentional (which it is). Lou Ferrigno, overdubbed and letting his pecs do most of the acting, is a riot all by himself, but it's the guys playing Zeus and King Minos that really push this thing over the edge. I defy anyone to keep a straight face when Minos points to a crappy prop robot-monster and says in his booming Shakespearean tones, "He is programmed...to destroy Hercules?" And don't even get me started on the scene where Hercules invents constellations by exploding a ratty-looking fake bear in outer space. This is so much funnier than 99% of what passes for comedy these days. See it if you haven't already. You'll have a great time.