Hospital Massacre (1982)

It's hard to take Hospital Massacre seriously. It just is. Yet, there's something so bizarre about it that it almost feels like one of those strange Italian horror films from the 70's or 80's where it seems like aliens from another planet have made the film and are trying to recreate the human experience as best they can.The story involves Barbi Benton who goes in to pick up some routine test results, but someone from her past switches her results so that she'll have to stay for more test and they can get close to her...and kill off half the hospital.Much like Halloween II, this hospital feels dimly lit - with hallways filled with dust and smoke - and a bit underpopulated (not as much as in Halloween II, though). All the doctors and nurses are shifty individuals who seem up to no good and look at Benton's switched test results with a mix of wonder and revulsion. Makes you wonder what the killer switched them with.The kill scenes are nasty and plentiful, which will thrill the gorehounds among us, and there are enough surreal set pieces to tickle fans of absurd cinema. Just wait until the killer corners a nurse by running down a long hallway from behind a bed sheet or the scene where a terrified Benton runs into a room only to find the three patients in full body casts suspended from the air and shrieking. It's very strange.Hospital Massacre is perfect for rainy day or late night movie watching, especially with friends.

Hospital Massacre is also known as X-Ray a terrible 1981 horror film. I have to call this implausible junk - because that is what it is. I had to keep fast-forwarding through the film because it's that bad.The so-called "legitimate" doctor does not act that way at all - he acts likes like a perverted sick-o himself - and so did the nurses but not as bad as the so-call doctor. It's as if they were in on it too and for no reason.I could not even get a laugh out of this film -- some scary films are not scary - in fact they are quite funny but this one is NOT that way. It's just junk. Between the bad acting and horrible script I had problems sitting through it - so yes I kept fast-forwarding and stopping to watch just to fast-forward again... did that until the end. Every thing I watched was pure nonsense - this is NOT the way a "legitimate" hospital would act.... even if a killer was among them, the rest of the staff would act "legitimate" - not in this junky film.Sorry I have to rate this a 1 - only because they make me rate this film - too bad there is not a 0 and below rating.1/10

Susan Jeremy (a pretty clunky, yet still appealingly sincere performance by gorgeous brunette knockout Barbi Benton) goes to the hospital for a routine check-up. However, poor Susan finds herself being stalked in said hospital by a mysterious psycho. Directed with astonishing all-thumbs maladroitness by Boaz Davidson, with loads of laughably obvious red herring probable suspects (skeevy drunk, weird janitor, sinister physicians, and so on), a ludicrous script by Marc Behm, clumsy attempts at suspense, an absurd heavy-breathing maniac, uproariously over the top murder set pieces, an overblown hum'n'shiver synthesizer score by Arlon Ober that comes complete with a campy shrieking chorus screaming up a storm during the more intense ooga-booga moments, and a colorful assortment of oddball patients (the trio of hideous old hags in Susan's hospital room are positively hysterical!), this hopelessly ham-fisted clunker plays like an unintentionally hilarious send-up of the slice'n'dice horror sub-genre. Making Susan a bitchy and snippy divorcée certainly doesn't help matters any. Fortunately, Barbi does indeed bare her exquisitely enormous breasts in a wonderfully leering, gratuitous, and protracted physical examination sequence. Only Nicholas Von Sternberg's glossy cinematography manages to transcend the general gut-busting ineptitude. An absolute schlocky hoot.

Susan (Barbi Benton, highly memorable from "Deathstalker" released the following year), at a hospital for a check-up, must deal with a lunatic that she has spurned the advances of decades before as children.This film is quite ridiculous. and a lot of it could be seen as a comedy, although I'm not sure if this was intentional or not. However it is entertaining enough, despite a bit of a lull in the middle, to keep me interested with its absurdities. The Prime stream seems to have been taken from an old VHS, so the picture quality isn't sterling to say the least, but in my humble opinion that only lent itself more to the overall experience.Eye Candy: Barbi gets topless