Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984)

The title of this review does let you know pretty much exactly what you're in for.This is, despite many flaws, quite a lot of fun if you're in the right mood. Yes, the SFX are clunky, the jokes and visual gags misfire most of the time and the music is pretty weak. The music video with Pia and Jermaine Jackson has precisely no place in the movie's plot, so that's sort of a plus point in this reality.However, the sense of energy and fun, especially from Pia Zadora, keeps the nonsense ticking along and Michael Berryman's chainsaw maniac subplot is amusing. And you could cut yourself on Craig Sheffer's cheekbones.As Eighties sci-fi musicals go, 'The Apple' is easily far worse than this.

"Voyage of the Rock Aliens" is certainly an oddity. Conceived as a spoof of various genres of b-movies, Curb Records got involved and turned it into a vehicle for many of their musicians. A production team was assembled that included people who'd worked on films such as "Dr. Strangelove," "A Hard Days Night," "Star Wars," "Deadly Blessing," "Staying Alive," and "Swamp Thing," amongst others. Not a shabby crew. The result is a completely off-the-wall low budget movie populated with actors who weren't really actors and featuring beautiful visuals, an offbeat production design, catchy songs... and a completely random music video with Jermaine Jackson that was synthetically (and confusingly) inserted into the film as an afterthought.The story concerns a group of aliens who come to Earth and find themselves strangers in the even stranger land of Speelburgh, which is filled with greasers, kooky cops, psycho serial killers, and a slimy sea monster. It's there that one of the aliens (Tom Nolan) falls in love with an aspiring singer (Pia Zadora). But will these starcrossed lovers sing and dance their way across the universe? Or will her jealous greaser boyfriend (Craig Sheffer) stand in their way?!There's something so endearingly tacky about the whole thing that it's downright charming in the way so many similar cult movies are ("Rocky Horror," "Beach Party," "Xanadu," "The Apple," "Earth Girls Are Easy," etc). The characters are quirky and unique (Spyder Mittleman and Patrick Byrnes are both particularly noteworthy for their campy performances), the songs and dances are as '80s as it gets, there's more seemingly random WTF moments than you can shake a stick at, and it seemed like everyone was having a lot of fun screwing around and devouring the scenery.The problem is the film is not very well known. It barely saw any theatrical distribution in the USA before being unceremoniously dumped on video five years later, and I can't find any evidence that it ever played on cable (though it did in Canada). In Europe it had a slightly more substantial release since Pia Zadora's music was popular.If any American DVD distributors are reading, this one's crying out for a widescreen special edition release. And if any theatre managers are reading, midnight screenings would be sublime!

Even though the special effects rarely rise above amateurish, even though the acting, at places, can best be described as 'cardboard', and even though the final production lacks the polish of a comparable film, say 'Grease', this film is definitely worth the time.This film has several things going for it, definitely. First of all, there are some pretty decent actors in the film and some talented singers as well.There are few who are both decent actors and talented singers, but this in itself doesn't ruin the movie.Musically, watch for the sequence 'nature of the beast'. It is a bit overplayed, and stylistically overdone, yet still quite entertaining.Much of the comedy in the movie falls rather flat, but there a few shining moments mixed in. At the point the female victim helps the homicidal maniac repair his chainsaw is really where the movie begins to hit its stride and the various elements come together.Throughout the film, Pia Zadora is a joy to watch. She really doesn't deserve the bad press she's gotten. In this film, she comes across as a wonderful singer, as well as a passable actress who seems completely to buy into her character. This is definitely not a trivial task, as the plot as a whole is rather hokey and the monster in the film looks really cheap and rubbery. I personally cannot imagine myself having to pretend to be frightened of it, but the cast really does a pretty good job with it and overall. In short: Watch it, enjoy it. Don't expect 'Grease' going in, and you won't be disappointed coming out. And BTW, look for Pia's duet with Jermaine Jackson on 'When the rain begins to fall' at the beginning of the movie. I don't think it has anything to do with the rest of the movie, but it is a cute little rock video.

I just got home after a party, and tuned on the TV to try get some sleep. Then I saw Pia Zadora and Jermaine Jackson in a popular video, then some 80's new wave freaks in a starship with a robot, singing melodies from earlier years (now that i know that the movie is from '88 and i thought i was from 84). Then there's this beach, with other group singing and Pia Zadora dancing... really the only place i ever enjoyed Pia Zadora was in Naked Gun 1/3. DON'T EVER LOOSE YOUR TIME WATCHING THIS VIDEO !