Salvation! (1987)

This film .......oh this film.....this (expletive deleted) film, has achieved a substantial mark of horror in that i rank it almost as low as the Blair Witch Project, which, IMHO, is the worst film ever made... IF i had the unfortunate karma to view this (expletive deleted) in a theater, i would've walked out of this horrendously bad film...it is the second worst film that i have ever seen, beating out the venerable Zabriskie Point by Antonioni (which i walked out on the first time i saw it) which is now the third worst film i've ever seen....but i must admit that there is some pretty horrible (expletive deleted) out there which have forced me to appreciate Zabriskie Point more now...The production values were so LOW that the film would only have been warranted if it was a porn film produced during the sixties...Anytime that a film simply has the camera following none-meaningful banality in motion AND absolutely NOTHING of value concerning plot or action takes place for minutes of celluloid at a time, THEN it's time to get up and walk out for no more meaning can be derived from it, no matter HOW many minutes of the film one sees...Beth B should be (expletives deleted).The cameraman can be spared for he at least did not use the monstrous hand-held technique used in the Blair Witch Project & Cloverfield ... the camera ALWAYS showed the principle action, what little there was to observe in the midst of the banality.....Viggo was SUPERB as an actor dealing with (expletive deleted)...his power of projection, his gift, was wasted in this horror....McHattie also did a SUPERB job of trying to survive, to keep his head above the water in this vain, lame, milquetoast waste of celluloid...The ONLY valid reason for this piece of (expletive deleted) to exist is to show to film students and budding actors how to try to act when the material is SO bad....Viggo and McHattie, i always knew were undervalued actors but they are positively heroic in my mind, for continuing to move and speak what was given to them by Beth B.......And Dominique Davolos was actually the emotional center of the film in that Beth B gave her marvelous NATURAL speech to speak, while reacting to the bullshit that Viggo and McHattie had to utter....she was the ONLY normal relation to the average experience of the film-goer...i personally despise Christianity, but this garbage of film-making is an unfair insult to Christianity as religion...AND THE MUSIC WAS HORRIBLE!!!....total WASTE of sound producing instruments and the efforts of those who were reproducing the notes...i thanked my Atheist gods for every second of silence from the chatter-clatter of the music....And i can't see why ANYONE would've gone to see this piece of (expletive deleted) except the reviews told me that Viggo's wife in the film had something to do with the band X ...oh well...then it was clearly word of mouth that brought drugged fans into the theater....

Crappy movie, yeah, but if you're a Viggo fan wondering if you should give this one a try, it's a definite yes. Plenty of attitude, weirdness and sexiness, and his motorcycle riding is pure sex on wheels. Curious about Exene? She plays the wife here. Beware - this character is a bit rednecky & mouthy, uses the f-word (and I'm not talking about the four letter one). Very strange to see him yelling, too.

Beth B sure knows how to put together a soundtrack.Funny movie, but it's not for most people.

We've just gone through the Bakker family scandal, so hey, why not make a tasteless vulgar comedy out of squeaky clean religion? This is the most lurid use of satire I've ever witnessed out of SALVATION! After 80 sinful minutes, it's time I've gone into the shower and wash away the evil-spirited entertainment stuck in my soul! The movie isn't even worth laughing about, not just in satirizing the Bible, but in bland, senseless, flatulent humor. Rent this one and see what I mean. In the end, nothing can save anybody from surviving this Armageddon of dirty laundry!