Skatetown U.S.A. (1979)

This is the very definition of a guilty pleasure film.Teenage blondes in hot pants and mini skirts, Scott Baio, Marcia Brady, stoners, food fights, midgets, cross dressers, and "Introducing Patrick Swayze" it all takes place within one night within the wall of Skatetown USA! The plot: Yes, there actually is a plot. True to the Greek unity of time and place the entire film is set in one night inside a roller disco which appears to be the space ship from 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' only BRIGHTER! The night starts with Scott Baio placing huge bets that his rookie friend Stan can sweep the roller disco competition. But there are troubles in techno paradise as Patrick Swayze and his Ron Jeremy look alike gang arrive on scene and black mail Flip Wilson (no puns intended) Skatetown USA's owner into rigging the contest.Swayze's performance boldly says that no closet can hold him. But Stan's puts John Travolta performance in 'Staying Alive' to shame.All in all this is a fun film that never takes itself to seriously. There's some good music which is difficult for the 70s and some really impressive dance scenes. There's also plenty of PG T&A.

I found this movie on DVD at missed movies dot com, but it was clearly dubbed off a mid-grade VHS copy, so expect it to play like an episode of Chips your uncle recorded on his brand-new $800 VCR, back in 1981. If I were Patrick Swayze, I would've bought the rights to this movie years ago and buried it. One must be impressed with his skate/dancing prowess though. His "gang" looked like they could get beat up by the gang in the Michael Jackson Beat It video.It's basically a long, disco rollerskating music video, with a few jokes from Flip Wilson and the Unknown comic thrown in the mix.Besides seeing Horseshack and Marsha Brady, one of the pizza guys at the snack bar was the therapist in There's Something About Mary, although I can't seem to find his credit in either film.

I never did understand why most audiences didn't go for XANADU. That movie had a huge cult following upon its theatrical release; while being considered a box office dud, it had the sort of presence that granted it an instant cult classic among musicals. I know tons and tons of people who love both the movie and the soundtrack dearly, and I've noticed that they are all the same personality I am--namely, folks who are starry-eyed by nature, have a strong sense of poetic beauty and grew up with before-Eisner Walt Disney movies.Story has it that SKATETOWN, U.S.A. was deliberately pushed back a couple of years or so the moment word got out that XANADU was in the works, for apparently the makers of this flick didn't want to chance XANADU's destroying it. They needn't have worried. This thing didn't have a chance to begin with. SKATETOWN is far, far, FAR inferior to the wonderful and delightful XANADU. It doesn't begin to even hold a candle to XANADU, which lives up to its title.And yet, SKATETOWN, U.S.A. is campy fun in its own way, a time capsule from the disco era that brings back memories despite obvious flaws in direction, choppy editing that insists on slashing the footage of some genuinely spectacular skating stunts before you can fully enjoy them, and a story that is nonexistant at best.The music makes this movie, hands down. It has a wonderful theme song and original songs as well as a whole slew of disco staples that are now truly timeless classics. And of course all the skating is a blast. And gotta love that goofball D.J. with his sparkle afro!There's one thing that seriously ruins my enjoyment of this film though. An annoying overweight worker at the snack bar who has a thing for hot dogs. This guy is just... seriously, he's disgusting! He's so gross and lacking in personal hygiene and basic cleanliness that... well, would *YOU* buy food from this guy? I swear, I lose all appetite (especially for hot dogs) upon seeing this guy in action. I'll be sitting there enjoying a wonderful skate dance set to gorgeous music, only to have the camera suddenly cut away to this jerk's gross antics. Edit him OUT entirely and this film would be much, much better and more carefree.Oh, and you haven't lived until you hear this flick's answer to the question "You saved my life... Why?"

I know this isn't saying much, but after Saturday Night Fever, this was the best of the disco themed movies. Unlike SNF, this movie took the tact of most other disco films and tried to capture the "fun" side of disco, and greatly succeeds where many others of this type failed.Although most of the skits are only mildly amusing, the characterizations are on the money and work well.As with any musical, the dance numbers and songs make this movie and really make you want to dance and sing along with it(if you know how to roller skate)Once again, if you want a semi-historical document that seems to capture the tone of disco, this is a classic.